to think that allowing a six year old to suck her mothers breasts when she has NOT been breast feeding for years is wrong?

[toffetwist]

I have a friend. Who recently told me that she lets her 6 year old child suck her breasts. She is not breast feeding her and has not for years.

I am disturbed. Am I right to be? What do I do?

VVVQ Haven't you got a hairy chest too though?

Your situation of a three year old who, I assume, has often talked about it, is quite diferent. I assume your dd is nearly 6 if it's nearly three years?
I crossed posts with you BTW and wasn't replying to your post in the first place.,

Not any more

I should add. I don't think the behaviour described in the OP is wrong. It doesn't sound remotely sexual or abusive, just very odd. I can't really believe anyone thinks it's anything other than odd.

VVVQ I certainly have a weekly crack and sack wax.

What? No back? And I had you down as a hairy-backed-mary as well

My dd1 who is 4 in August stopped bfing when i was 8 months pg with dd2(whi is 2 in August). She asked when around 6/7 months had gone past if she could be like the baby and have a feed. I posted at the time and general consensus was that it would be totally appropriate to let her.

She still has a bf most evenings before bed and i will continue to let her have a nurse before bed for as long as she wants to.

That's quite different and understandable though isn't it?

Following my logic, Swedes, if a man/babysitter had been the primary breastfeeder since birth, then it would be fine, even after a gap of many years to comfort a stressed child with a suck

This is one of those topics that will never be resolved. The response is visceral on both sides.

Breasts as providers of food? Absolutely.

As providers of comfort? No .. not when a child is walking, talking .. going to school. There are other ways to comfort children.

It's often said that it's the norm in other cultures, but these tend to be cultures where food is scarce, and I remain unsure that the analogy is a good one.

I think it's really weird. Others don't. Let's live and let live, however, because noone is going to change their mind. It's an emotional issue, not an intellectual one.

I remember asking my mum if I could breast feed when I was about 4. She declined, and I'm sooo glad she did. I would be looking back and cringing now.

Yes, this is one of the things that exercises me.

I don't think it's a memory most children would welcome in later life.

Walking and talking?

I know 9 month old babies who can walk. I knew a baby who at 3 months was clearly yelling for her Mummy. At 23 months Tink walks and talks very well.

Walking and talking are no indicators of whether or not a child is ready to be weaned from the breast.

I also think you'll find there are plenty of countries that aren't starving that aren't in a rush to wean their children.

Desi, adults who do remember being breastfed tend to describe it with great affection and happiness. I have never heard anyone describe it as making them feel uncomfortable - quite the opposite

twelevelegs

• no she has no younger siblings. She has never seen me feed again. In fact I'm not sure she has seen anyone else fed..

I am just trying to say that I think your premis ( where you assume that a child would not request this) is wrong. I quite understand that many people feel that feeding after it has stopped is odd. But my DD remembers feeding and remembers it as being lovely. She will be six in a couple of months and stopped at three - so it was three years ago.

I receognise that people will view it as inappropriate.
But based on my experience the notion of a formerly breastfed child remembering it and requesting - even after a period of years - is entirely possible.
My daughter has. I just don't think the op should be accused of lying or the mum accused of instigating this when it is entirely possible that the child requested it.

My older two dds have asked to try bf again, though I stopped with them when they were about 1. They see lots of bf going on all around them - various little siblings and cousins - and they are interested.
dd3 (4) is terribly interested in my breasts though it's 3 years since I bf her. She's always asking to look at them.

In fact all my dds and my dneice are utterly obsessed with breasts and breastfeeding.

it's not that disturbing, just normal small child interest in bodily functions.

I remember coming out of nursery screaming at my mum to give me my diddy and i always use to ask for it when we were on the bus.

People looked at my mum like she was crazy because she said yes just wait till we get home.

I was 4 but looked more like 7 . We still laugh about it now although it's the reason i never even tried with my dd's.

DS1 asked me if he could breastfeed the other day, and I let him try. He is 3 and a half, stopped feeding him at 9months. The only difference between myself and the OP is that I have another baby, why should that make all the difference?

I think we are all agreed on the fact that it is regressive behaviour. If a six year old starts wetting themselves suddenly we would surely take it as a sign of something being wrong. We would surely provide love and attention to get to the bottom of the matter; we wouldn't rush to put them back in nappies to provide comfort and security.

Well obviously if your child can walk they can get their own farkin milk, can't they?!

comparing wearing nappies with breastfeeding is daft IMO

Speak for yourself! How dare you say "we all agree"! Who are you to think you know what everyone on here thinks? That has got to be one of the most ignorant rude comments I've read on here!

UD, I know plenty of 9 month olds who get the milk from the fridge and BLWing means they can even cook for them self too!

I don't think that allowing a child to nurse is anything other than "providing love and attention to get to the bottom of the matter".

We have no idea what is going on between that mother and child and nursing could be the big thing bringing the child much needed security.

I didn't mean to be rude. Clearly we don't all agree.

Franny - I was merely trying to make the point (re nappies) that getting beyond babyhood is difficult and it's human nature to want to travel backwards in times of stress.