To think women should prioritise being equally yoked when choosing a partner?

[ThisLimeMoose]

As a woman, I firmly believe that if you don’t have children, you should prioritise dating a man who doesn’t have children. If you’re financially stable, you should be looking for a man who is equally financially stable. The same applies to emotional maturity, ambition, lifestyle and general circumstances.

I think far too many women enter relationships where they’re taking on responsibilities, complications or burdens that they wouldn’t otherwise have, simply because they’ve been encouraged to believe that love should be enough. Stay equally yoked in all things and I genuinely believe you’d avoid a significant proportion of the relationship problems we regularly see discussed on here.

AIBU?

I can’t take that phrase seriously, as mostly I see it used by fundamentalist Christians quoting St Paul on how Christians shouldn’t be ‘unequally yoked’ with unbelievers.

But the principle in itself is perfectly reasonable. Don’t take on a project.

I firmly believe that you should pick your own partner and leave others to pick theirs.

Yoked?!
what on earth

This, but i find it odd for sny adult to take on a partner with kids if you will pick and mix how you treat the kids

Yoked????

Is that not an Irish version of 'thingy' or 'whatsit' ?

If marriage was only an adminstrative exercise maybe.

But humans are messy.
Things outside of our control that are good and bad happen in our life times.
Sometimes people conceal huge issues for a long time.
What is to say being ‘equally yoked’ is the secret to success?

If, a person can be so lucky to find someone with shared values, some shared interests and are truly kind that can help give longevity to a relationship.

Not unreasonable. Raising other people’s children can’t be fun or for the weak hearted. Why take on that responsibility. The same goes for men.

Couldn’t get past “Yoked”.

Yes, equally yoked. It’s a fairly well-established expression meaning compatible or appropriately matched. What’s confusing about it?

Completely agree, we regularly take it in turns to crack an egg on each other’s head.

Out of interest, why use a Christian nationalist phrase?

It’s not standard round here or in any other place I have lived

it has a distinct “marriage is a trap” vibe the way you have used it

it would feel more like you are saying “women should choose carefully to avoid being yoked in marriage “

It's a biblical term. It originally meant not to marry unbelievers.

I think you were trying to be funny but it didn’t quite work. That’s a different yolk you are thinking about.

I don’t disagree that life is unpredictable but that’s not really the point I’m making. Of course circumstances change, people experience difficulties and no relationship comes with guarantees. I’m talking about the circumstances in which people choose to enter relationships in the first place.

There’s a difference between supporting a partner through difficulties that arise during a relationship and knowingly entering one where there’s already a significant imbalance in responsibilities, finances or circumstances.
And surely shared values, emotional maturity and compatibility are part of being equally yoked? I’m not suggesting it’s a guarantee of success but I do think it can prevent a lot of avoidable problems.

It’s an expression used by religious fundamentalists who also follow the ‘submissive wife, husband in charge’ model to cover only marrying someone who is also a fundamentalist Christian with those beliefs (not even a more liberal Christian). I have literally never heard it used by anyone else.

”Equally yoked” is biblical, so well established in that sense. I wouldn’t agree that this phrase was part of typical modern day language outside of Christian dating.

Well that’s a new one on me. And I was raised by super catholics and schooled in a convent 🤣

I thought it was how I got pregnant in the first place

This.

No, it literally just means wearing a yoke, an agricultural bit of harness — a wooden piece that fastens in two horses or oxen side by side to pull a load. If the animals are different sizes or have different levels of strength or different temperaments, pulling the load together will be more difficult.

I think someone has spilt there egg down their top 😀

It’s a biblical expression not a specifically Christian nationalist one. I’m using it to describe compatibility in relationships, particularly in terms of values, finances and life circumstances. I’m not sure what Christian nationalism has to do with the point I’m making.

No it isn’t HTH.

Wrong sort of Christian - think American evangelical fundamentalists who homeschool, believe a wife must obey her husband and children must obey their parents (even if they have to be beaten into obedience) and these days vote Trump (or in the wife’s case, post online about voting as instructed by her husband - for Trump).