To think women should prioritise being equally yoked when choosing a partner?

[ThisLimeMoose]

As a woman, I firmly believe that if you don’t have children, you should prioritise dating a man who doesn’t have children. If you’re financially stable, you should be looking for a man who is equally financially stable. The same applies to emotional maturity, ambition, lifestyle and general circumstances.

I think far too many women enter relationships where they’re taking on responsibilities, complications or burdens that they wouldn’t otherwise have, simply because they’ve been encouraged to believe that love should be enough. Stay equally yoked in all things and I genuinely believe you’d avoid a significant proportion of the relationship problems we regularly see discussed on here.

AIBU?

Well, I am very glad my husband didn’t know about this when he met me, or we would have missed out on a lovely life together.

I was a co parenting mother to an 8 year old without a penny to my name living back with my father. He was a single man, no children with a good job and a home if his own.

17 years later, all is good.

The point is, it's hard to take the rest of your post seriously when you have used archaic language that is only typically used these days by Christian fundamentalist types.

Good grief, yes I forgot about those.

I thought the Catholics I grew up with were crazy, it’s actually comforting to know there are even more batshit religious people out there.

Whatever happened to love .

OP maybe ask for this to be deleted and go again but use the word 'matched'. Then you might get the discussion you were after.

This reads like it’s been written by an AI (I don’t think it has, I’m just making a point) that is very skilled at giving logical, practical advice, which may well work…if it didn’t completely ignore all the things that make us human!! Like emotion, attraction, and love. I assume you’re a human, not an AI, in which case, how can you be so naive? Human relationships are far more complex that that

Perfectly possible to choose not to love a project.

For me personality and character is the key. My DH was in a much higher paying job than me when we married. Subsequently his career took a tumble while mine grew. But he is the same reliable honest kind funny person so we have stayed happy through all the ups and downs.

It’s a phrase that has been co-opted by Christian nationalists and raises assumptions about the user (which I accept you may not have meant).

It’s like me not using a Pepe the Frog meme (even one that’s harmless). I’m not a white supremacist and the ‘original meaning’ is irrelevant because it’s not how it’s taken today.

It's a new one on me over never heard of it.
I opened the thread to see what it meant

It actually isn't specifically about marriage, in the context of the chapter (2 Corinthians 6). It's more general and includes business partners, close friends, joint investments, etc. Any binding relationship with shared values and goals.

No it doesn't. It means tied together, forcibly attached, as in cattle yoked to a cartoon. You're trying to spin it, here and in your later comments, as meaning equal and having positive meanings. But it doesn't.

It is definitely not a well established phrase 🤣 I’ve never heard it in my life. The comments on here from everyone else who is equally clueless about it prove that…and it is confusing cos what the hell does an (egg I assume?) yolk have to do with relationships?! I’d like to yolk my partner sometimes but I’m being much more literal!

The bible is a tad outdated though isn’t it? And confused becuase it’s so many different views and stories ? How many people have actually read it ?

Love doesn’t tend to be a choice

I’ve never heard the phrase “equally yoked” but I have daughters and if anything happened to my husband I’d not be blending families with anyone else.

I know at least two women who had no children and went on to marry a man with children and have their own - they are very happy.

Of course it’s a choice.

It quite clearly means equal, in the biblical source! The whole point of the metaphor is that when you yoke cattle together to pull something they need to be similar or it doesn’t work.

In the original it’s about fundamental beliefs and values (ie being a Christian in that case).

It’s very good life advice, and I’m an atheist.

Do you think when two oxen are yoked together that A is attached to B but B isn’t attached to A? How does that work?

It’s would be my go to for dating advice.

Pretty sure this is what OP meant, and it’s the misspelling of the word “Yoke” that has caused the confusion.

We’re all work in progress, all of us are changing, evolving, hopefully improving. No one is the finished article at 25, 30 or more.

This is a yoke (for carrying buckets of milk, water, whatever in rural communities many years ago) - so if the OP means 'burdened' (in the case of having children/other responsibilities) then the question itself makes sense.

My reaction too. Sounds creepy or pretentious.

You have hit upon the principle behind arranged- (not forced)- marriages in the S Asian community. People are matched by education, religion, profession...

I think you both need to bring things to the relationship that are equivalent but they don’t need to be the same. It would be a sad and boring world where a brilliant research scientist couldn’t date a hedgie because she didn’t earn the same.