Does putting a child on SEND register affect them?

[Nee215]

My DD is waiting assessment for ADHD and autism and primary school observations do indicate levels of autism and ADHD. She’s 11 and just joined secondary school. Her new secondary school have asked me to give permission for her to be put on SEND register. I’m happy as she will get support but DH is against it till her assessment confirms it as he worries it will impact her later in life. He told me that they would never admit it but his company would not employ anyone with SEND. He is telling me I will wreck her future if I do allow this.

For context DD is highly intelligent, top of her class and makes friends easily and is very outgoing and sociable, only reason I went for the process is because of her eating issues - she only has 5 or 6 foods she eats on rotation. The doctor suggested ADHD / Autism I never went for this diagnosis only to help her eating. Will I wreck her future if I allow school to put her on register for SEND? DH thinks she is in no way SEND

Why does he think a company would have access to her medical records?

How would any future employer know that she had been on the SEND register? That wouldn’t be stated on her exam results or in any reference from school. It is purely an internal school record of those kids that need some extra support during their education, it doesn’t get passed on outside of the education system.

No I think he thinks it will directly impact her in terms of she will think there is something “wrong” with her and it will be like a self fulfilling prophecy. She is top of her class right now so he worries she might start thinking there’s something wrong with her and not perform so well

A SEND Register is a confidential register used by a school for children with additional learning requirements. It is not something an employer would ever know about.

If your DH's company was ever found out to be discriminating against someone with dyslexia, dyscalculia, autism or anything like that they could probably be prosecuted!!!!

The send register in a school is completely separate from her medical records.

if she is waiting assessment for adhd and autism then if diagnosed these will be on her medical records and may impact her later in life (eg I believe the army won’t take anyone diagnosed with autism).

the Send register is kept within the school and is not available to any type of employers

your dh is worrying about the wrong thing.

Why would that impact her more than the assessment though? He isn’t really making any sense.
It sounds like your DH is struggling with the huge prejudices he has towards people with a range of send conditions.

@Octavia64 there is no blanket ban from the British Army on people with a diagnosis of autism.

No it means very little other than to the school
My son was on the SEN register at primary school as he struggled academically all it meant was he got extra support with reading and writing and maths
Hes nearly 20 and i dont even think he knows he was on it.

If she only eats 5 or 6 foods on rotation then at a minimum she has some kind of eating disorder or Arfid.

honestly, students getting any kind of intervention from school are on the send register. It’s usually about 25% of kids and can be anything from slight hearing loss to anorexia. Kids go onto and move off it as needed.

the student themselves isn’t normally told they are on a “list” they see just told they are getting extra support whether that be extra maths, not doing PE, seeing a counsellor for anorexia or whatever.

I'd suggest that your DDs mental health will be better if she comes to understand the root of her challenges - and she must be facing some challenges if school are suggesting this.

Being on the SEND register will possibly allow her to have access for example to quiet break out areas in school, that may make all the difference in her being able to make it through the school day.

When she is an adult, your DD can decide herself if she reveals to potential employers if (and it is if) she has a diagnosis. In the meantime, no diagnosis is necessary to be on the SEND register, but it will mean she gets some support.

Autism is a vast spectrum
How could the army refuse to take somone with a diagnosis ?
Surely it would delend on how it impacted them.?

Hi sorry to jump on your post but your situation sounds so like mine! My daughter is year 6 and I also went to the GP because she only eats 4 things on rotation, and they suggested ADHD/autism (it runs heavily in our family too). She's waiting for an assessment. She does have other symptoms, extremely inflexible and rigid thinking mainly, potentially PDA? But not all the time. But she's sociable and is good at school. I worry about putting a label on her too, but her symptoms are getting more obvious the older she gets.

Sorry I don't know what I'm asking here but just wanted to comment as it sounds very familiar. I think to get diagnosed they have to be affected in several areas so wondered if your daughter struggles in other ways other than just the eating? Xx

Sorry I have been corrected on this

my mistake

It isn't even a medical record! It's an internal register within the school, noting that DD needs extra support in some areas (which might just be a quiet space to eat her meal).

Goodness knows how DH thinks a future employer would get to know about that. Application forms usually ask if you consider yourself to be Disabled . It is up to the applicant to say Yes or No. However companies are usually expected to employ a %age of people with disabilities.

Your DD's school are wise and your DH is in denial.
An assessment and potential subsequent diagnosis will not suddenly assign her a new SEND identity or disability -it will confirm what was observed in the assessment (and likely perceived in school), as consistent with a set of stringent diagnostic assessment criteria. If diagnosed, it means she was always autistic or had ADHD; before, during and after the assessment.
The transition to secondary school can be the undoing of Oscar-worthy masking feats by autistic girls for whom the new environment with rapidly increasing demands becomes unmanageable. Watch her closely and be open to the possibility that you have a daughter with additional needs, irrespective of what your DH thinks. It's absolutely not about him and you must not let his fears get in the way of your child receiving support.

How would an employer know she had been on the SEN register? There’s nothing that would link up there’s no such thing as a permanent record.

editing to say all sorts of people are on the SEND register, blind, deaf and people in wheelchairs your husband is chatting shit or they are illegally not employing certain people.

What additional support do you/ the school believe she needs? If she's highly academic, what other things have you/ they noticed that causes her difficulties? If she needs additional support, then putting her on the sen register will help ensure that happens prior to her receiving any diagnosis.

If your dh is worried she'll think there's something wrong with her if you put her on the sen register, then how does he feel about putting her through an assessment that may result in a diagnosis? I'm sorry, I just don't understand the logic.

If the school is suggesting putting her on the register to ensure she's well supported, surely this can only be a good thing? Has he seen the stats about ND girls, mental health and suicide? That might focus his attention.

Also, as others have said, employers will only know she has SEND if she chooses to divulge it. Being on a school register at 11 years old has no relevance here.

Ok, I don’t disagree with anybody but I was helping dh with some forms yesterday before his new professional training course (construction) and it did ask if he had any send support at school, and at what age, also if he has any learning disabilities- suspected or diagnosed. I don’t think it’s to discriminate in any way, but certainly relevant to them information.

I understand what your dh is saying about your dd seeing herself differently after a diagnosis, and I don’t see what extra support the school will be able to give her when she’s already doing great academically and socially.

@augustuss there is no legal obligation to declare any learning difficulties to a prospective employer.

No only the teachers will know as it shows up on the electronic register. They will try and adapt the lessons to those that require it but it’s difficult to do so really with a class of 30. No one will ever know when she starts work unless she chooses to disclose it. DH has nothing to worry about. It won’t have a detrimental impact on DD

Well his company is a bunch a arseholes who break the law then. If he's a manager or director he should be ashamed.

And how the hell would an employer know what register someone was on in school aged 13 or whatever?!

It depends what you want, medical records can have a massive impact in the future. When my son was applying for the Royal Navy, anything could’ve gotten away including an asthma diagnosis. I do know for a fact that any kind of neuro divergent diagnosis will affect you as in you won’t get in.

Obviously, some government bodies such as intelligence and things like that were definitely thrown on a diagnosis such as that being on her record.

It’s all about a balance of benefit versus risk, I suppose.

hi op!!! i was on the SEND register in highsschool and college (i have autism, adhd, dyspraxia, arfid and pots) and all it did was help teachers understand me. it didnt negatively affect me in any way. im now at uni and im also registered as SEND on their database, and all it means is that lecturers/seminar tutors know i might need help understanding the wording of assignments or help with accessing uni work if im experiencing burnout or exhuastion related to my disabilities. i really value having people know im disabled because it means i dont have to explain my disabilities and difficulties over and over to every teacher/lecturer i have! best of luck op and i hope school can provide support for your daughter 💐

@Keepgettingolder81 When my son was applying for the Royal Navy, anything could’ve gotten away including an asthma diagnosis.
I do know for a fact that any kind of neuro divergent diagnosis will affect you as in you won’t get in.

Nonsense, that’s about as far from a fact as you can get.

@Keepgettingolder81 it simply isn't a fact that some kind of neuro-divergent diagnosis will automatically prevent you from getting into the British Forces.