To ask who are these people? Are they human? HOW??

[Dryshampoowho]

I am always so tired...two dc...i work part time, house is always a mess, laundry always in a pile.

Neighbour - 2 dc, full time work in a good career, house is fucking spotless (I have been in at random times multiple times (they do not have a cleaner), kids in multiple activities, dad is a coach for one of the activities (he also works full time).
I thought fair enough that's a lot but fair play to them.

My dc joined a new activity yesterday eve and I bumped into neighbour in the corridor of the building, made our pleasantries, turned out her dc do this activity too and she is the secretary of the club and was at a meeting.

How do they do it?? why do they have so much time? where am i going wrong??

It sounds like they are never at home to make a mess

A lot of families around us both parents WFH, both my husband and I have a commute, there is no day where we're both home before 6.30. one of us is doing pick up and making dinner. We have 2 kids, 1 is autistic, the other has been flagged since starting school and we're beginning to accept she may also be autistic. Other people's kids seem to be able to play more independently and they dress themselves and they don't need the reassurance of an adult next to them to fall asleep. I'm recovering from surgery and have a chronic joint condition, my husband is also autistic. I dot think three are lots of small differences that make it harder for some families than others. The commute is the big one though and the kids who don't sleep. On the rare occasion we all sleep through the night I could move mountains the next day. Were always on the back foot.

Also life's a lot, it's ok to let the mess lie for a bit and be lazy or enjoy downtime, maybe these people aren't doing that or don't need it the way I do for their mental health. Maybe they're just better than me. Who knows.

I think maybe they don't go on their phones.

Maybe they have a cleaner?

🤣🤣🤣

I agree with PP - people's energy levels vary wildly! over the years I have known some extremely busy, productive types (not myself I should add). It becomes clear how they are when you live with someone like that or see them very regularly. They just function well when they are busy, can multitask and are good at blitzing tasks instead of putting them off / having a cuppa and a scroll then noticing 30 mins has gone.

There are also people who can function fine with 5 or 6 hours sleep on a regular basis, which means they have extra hours to get things done. Some people love to be out a lot so don't might ferrying their kids around most evenings and weekends.

Honestly, most people I know are NOT like this and don't get everything done they would like to, especially as they get older and or have more responsibilities.

I used to have more stamina and need less sleep, but now at 50, I need 7 hours sleep, preferably more at weekends. There are some things you can do to motivate yourself to get more done but ultimately it's quite difficult to change your natural pace.

I don’t necessarily aspire to being the most organised person who works though tasks in a strict routine. It’s not the definition of success for me. I’ve found the people who take that approach tend to be more operationally focussed and linear thinkers. The world needs people like that but I am not one of them.

The world also needs people who are strategic, abstract or creative thinkers. I lean into the fact my energy ebbs and flows at different rates and times and I use my energy to focus on what matters most to me. Sometimes that might be cleaning my house. Other times I take the time to rest and think (with messiness around).

I do think that some people are just tidy and ‘organised’. It’s honestly not a criticism of people who are not - they will 100% have different God-given talents and skills.

I used to be like your neighbor, except on top of that I had all the issues that @Velumental has with autistic DC who don't sleep and similar partner. I still got a lot done, I was very efficient, did multiple things at once, volunteered, helped at school around working full time. Last year I started a masters degree as I was getting a bit bored in the evenings.
Until...

Menopause hit. Suddenly I can't get anything done, memory is gone,I spend all day procrastinating (or reading Mumsnet) I found myself turning up to meetings having not read the agenda, looking at yesterday's work and thinking....what?!why?!
I've had to postpone the masters and I don't know if I'll ever finish it now. So their time might come!

My house (and life in general, tbh) is a complete mess. My mother was the opposite so maybe I’ve rebelled and feel that life is too short to spend so much of it doing housework. The middle ground between chaos and OCD organisation would be fine for me.

We both work pretty much full time and we have 4 kids between 4 and 19 and 2.5 dogs. Our house is always pretty spotless all the time.

1. we get up early every day so we have time to do what needs doing

2. everyone tidies up after themselves to the best of their ability and makes their bed

3. We have a rota for the big jobs and one of the adults make sure they get done on time

4. We don't have loads of stuff like millions of plates and cups.

5. we have minimal trinkets and stuff that collects dust or needs to be moved to clean

Yeah, I got a lot more done too before chronic joint problem and surgery reason and recovery, and then perimenopause. It definitely makes things harder.

I simply don't give enough of a shit to be a "busy" person!

We're all fed, kept clean, have a clean and comfortable home, the kids have some clubs they like, I am good at my job, I see friends I enjoy seeing, I exercise 2/3 times a week and that is enough for me.

I also want time to loll about and relax and have lie ins so I accept that nothing will ever be "perfect" but we are all happy and well so great 👍🏼

DH and I work full time, two kids in multiple hobbies, DH also co-leads one of the hobbies. I have time to keep a spotless house, but I just choose to sit around scrolling TikTok instead.

I've been on a bin bag raid today. We've not had a declutter for ages! And I mean years! I've been systematically getting rid of stuff and have 4 bi bags, 3 bags for charoty shop and 2 bags for hand me downs. It's very freeing. Trying to streamline for a long term easier life

That IS busy! I do all the other things you describe but cannot keep on top of the house alongside it.

I have quick processing skills.

Some people think things through very slowly I can arrive at the same decision having jumped through the hoops of the same thought processes. Just five times as fast. It means choices and decisions are made very quickly.

There are also energy levels and how much sleep you need to function. I’m fine on 6 hours but I can also nap very successfully for say 10 to 15 minutes. I used to nap in one of my jobs in my office. British culture isn’t set up for this.

All these people who work full time, yet still have time to cook from scratch and then put the kids to bed. What full time roles are these?

When I worked full time, I was never actually home until 7.30 pm and quite frankly was too exhausted to do anything else.

I wonder if people have 9-5 easy jobs?

I was much more time efficient when I was working full time in a busy job. I worked full-time as did my partner and we both completed master degrees while having 4 children and had multiple personal activities and many more for the kids.
Everything seems a little harder now that I'm part time and the kids are all adults.😂

I think the reason people keep saying "they've got a cleaner" even though the OP said "they haven't got a cleaner" is because a lot of people who "haven't got a cleaner" have, in fact, actually "got a cleaner".

If they don't then they really fucking like cleaning and do it for fun. I'm not one of them but I hear those people do exist.

There are different reasons. People have different amounts of energy, some men do a fair share of the housework and childcare, some people concentrate on the stuff that is visible to others (e.g. you've been in their house but have you been upstairs or look through their cupboards, how organised are they?), some people are cowboys and do everything in a shoddy way and hope they don't get caught, some people have lots of help from grandparents or buy in help, some people have only one child or limit the number of children's activities, some people work part time or don't have a compute, some people live on ready meals or are sleep deprived or take drugs or alcohol to cope.

So right now, it's 5pm. I'm on my way home from work. Started at 10. Husband has been in since he picked kids up and has made a spaghetti bolognaise. He started work at 6ish this morning and finished about 2. He project manages on construction sites and does some of the work, too. Mostly home renovations. After dinner tonight, I'll probably clean up and then either me or my son will season the chicken for tomorrow. Son might even cook the rice. Then tomorrow whoever is home first will cook the chicken and make a salad

Some people are just born with elite executive functioning skills - they are the blessed ones!

I work 8-4:30, I’m home already and have the dinner on. Dinner = burgers with salad and homemade chips. Im literally just waiting for them to cook. Burgers were steak mince with seasoning. Chopped the potatoes with skin on and seasoned with S&P and paprika. Salad will be, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, olives and grapes. Will put bacon and cheese on the burgers too. I would consider this a very easy dinner though tbh.

I'm deputy General Counsel for a multinational - not too bad, but I wouldn't call it 'easy 9-5, drop the tools and forget about it' job. But I do have flexibility. Kids are old enough to put themselves to bed nowadays and they don't even get home from their activities before 7.30 themselves, one finishes at 9.30 a couple of evenings. But when they were younger, I would do the evening routine and then finish what I needed later - working globally so emails coming in all hours anyway.
I get tired when I chill, not when I'm busy.

I had a colleague like that once, in a very time consuming job. Three kids, all doing various activities. Heavily involved in coaching one of those activities, fundraising for it etc. She had so much energy all the time. I was single and childfree and didn't have that much energy! But I need my 8 hours sleep and she thrived on 4, crazy lady 😂