To ask who are these people? Are they human? HOW??

[Dryshampoowho]

I am always so tired...two dc...i work part time, house is always a mess, laundry always in a pile.

Neighbour - 2 dc, full time work in a good career, house is fucking spotless (I have been in at random times multiple times (they do not have a cleaner), kids in multiple activities, dad is a coach for one of the activities (he also works full time).
I thought fair enough that's a lot but fair play to them.

My dc joined a new activity yesterday eve and I bumped into neighbour in the corridor of the building, made our pleasantries, turned out her dc do this activity too and she is the secretary of the club and was at a meeting.

How do they do it?? why do they have so much time? where am i going wrong??

I think there are many factors - differerent energy levels, working at home or 10 minutes away vs 90 minute commute, a 35 hour working week vs a 45 hour working week, having a high stress job vs a low stress job, having DCs that load their dirty dishes into the dishwasher and put their stuff away vs thosE that don’t, having lots of clutter that can’t be stored away vs huge cupboards and not many possessions so everything can be put away nearly every time,
cooking proper food (which makes a mess vs heating up ready meals, having a dog vs not having one, allowing the DCs to play outside when it is muddy vs not allowing it.

That is just off the top of my head. There must be more.

They definitely cook from scratch, they have a polytunnel etc...really healthy and workout also, Its actually baffling.

same here - my Dsis is a powerhouse of action - we are both in our 70's, she no longer has horses or dogs, that's her one concession to aging - but she regularly goes on trekking weekends on horseback and dog sits for her DC.

She was working f/t up until 6 months ago when her partner became ill and they decided to do "bucket list" stuff. But even now, she is out dancing 2-3 times a week and meets up with her "girlfriends" when her partner's DC are visiting. She's up at dawn and never in bed before midnight - we used to joke that her home was a show home - always visitor ready. Her energy was/is phenomenal, she's always doing something.....

I am built very differently!

I fear I may come across to people like the family you’re talking about. My house is always tidy because I have a relentless obsession over it that drives me insane. Kid clubs most days, both me and DH are involved in a kids club each too helping run it etc. But rest assured I am absolutely shattered and at my wits end with it all, I just don’t think I show it

But the important question is - do they have a cleaner? The OP should have mentioned it.

I bet they don't doom scroll/ spends hours on social media for example.

I manage to doom scroll AND keep a tidy home 🤷‍♀️

I think some people are just very disciplined. They put the time in to create workable routines and systems and then stick to them, so their lives are well-oiled machines. Things like everything in their home having a place, a cleaning routine, a fortnightly evening meal rotation etc.

I also think it helps if you genuinely enjoy cleaning and cooking etc. I enjoy cooking but don't find it relaxing, I have tried to enjoy cleaning but I hate it. Relaxing to me is watching TV or scrolling on my phone, both of which are huge drains on time!

Do either of your neighbours work from home? As sometimes the flex to do chores/prep dinner at lunchtime makes a huge difference.

Also, if the kids are always out at activities theres probably not much time for them to be at home making a mess which does help!

I would not be wanting to do all that , would you? If u can outsource some jobs then do it.

4th line

How do they do it?? why do they have so much time? where am i going wrong??

Some people just seem to be machines!

I - like many people - need to switch off occasionally, to relax. You know, maybe a beer at the weekend, or watching some trashy tv show or whatever.

Others do not seem to have this need and can just carry on 24/7.

(They make me sick as well lol - just kidding!)

😆

High energy Neurotypical 🤷‍♀️ i do know (of) a few people like this... I will constantly be in awe!

You are a very good multi tasker. If I tried to make phone calls and ride my horse at the same time, I would end up in a ditch. I can only concentrate on one thing at a time!

Some people have higher energy levels and high levels of executive function. They're good at getting stuff done.

I have ADHD and am constantly overwhelmed/burned out. I'm rubbish at getting stuff done.

It's ok though. It's not a moral failing on my part and I'm quite good at 'fire-fighting' when important stuff becomes time crucial (stress hormones kick in) so the whole world doesn't collapse around me.

No, my house is not going to be tidy and I'm not going to chair 10 kids' clubs, but I reckon I'm lucky to live in a world where there are others around who have their shit together and so can do this stuff. I'm grateful to them for their energy and effort, while I collapse exhausted surrounded by the debris of my life.

I'm always the first to volunteer for 'time limited' stuff where others are in charge and I just do as I'm told (so I'll happily man the tombola for a couple of hours in the freezing cold at the school fair), but I don't do extra stuff which involves extensive planning/organising as that's not my forte and I need all the executive function I have (which isn't much) to keep my own children's lives from falling apart.

Yes, I read that post and thought exactly the same. My brain couldn't manage being 'on' for that length of time and to that extent. If I have a burst of productive energy and get loads of stuff done, I need to balance that with periods of quiet time where I can just be present and not be thinking about something else.

It's very very outdated now and overly simplistic, but they used to refer to people like this as "Type A Personalities" and the rest of us are more like Type B

The Type A have higher risk for all kinds of health issues as basically in order to do all of that stuff their body is under a higher level of stress.

Or maybe it was all debunked by now, no idea. I know it's an old thing and nobody talks about it any more.

Husband and I both work fulltime and are both heavily involved in running a high-maintenance sports club my kids are in, and I coach at another club. My house is not immaculate but it is clean (ish). To be honest, kids mainly make the mess, and my two are now old enough (13 and 10) to clean it up with out too much argument - yet. When they were younger they weren't in activities that required so much time commitment or gear.

So take heart OP - things do get more manageable as kids get older.

Me too but some people are very OCD. my best mate and her husband both are and they will tidy as they do stuff all the time, whereas I need three working days to stick a load of laundry on 😂

well they don't need a cleaner cos I imagine they're home very little time! everyone out by 8 in the morning I expect, home after childcare for 6? dinner, homework and bed.

good toy management so they don't have too much to a really make a mess with.
kids taught to put each thing away at a time.
doing admin and bits around everything else - waiting for the kids clubs is email time not MN time etc.
husband who does his fair share.
out weekends doing stuff so again not tons of mess time.
bit of batch cooking or convenience food on really busy nights, stuff kids can eat en route even better.
good storage.
chill time multitasked with ironing or paperwork.

I mean I don't really know, I barely work, have 3 kids and I'm a walking disaster as is my house! but I imagine that's how it goes.

There are also numerous influencers that are always doing DIY in their house and make it look awesome (yes I know this is social media not real life), but how.

I have a toddler and I only bought a lampshade for the dining room after a year of living in our house. Some people just have oodles of energy!

Same here!

I tend to find a lot of the time the less you do the more tired you can be.

Some people are naturally tidy and organised.

If you're always tidy, your house will always look good.

You need to throw away anything you're not using, and steel yourself to putting things away all the time. If nothing is ever out of place, a house looks more harmonious.

To be fair I’m always doing DIY with my 2 year old in tow!
I just want the house how I want it, don’t want to spend a grand and a half paying to have a room painted and the only option is to crack on then.
The more I have on at home the happier and more engaged my toddler is imo. He will happily play along side me, paint the opposite wall with a clean brush, play on the ladder while I do something and loves helping me strip wallpaper! It’s great entertainment for him.

What about your partner, if there is one? A team gets things done.