To ask who are these people? Are they human? HOW??

[Dryshampoowho]

I am always so tired...two dc...i work part time, house is always a mess, laundry always in a pile.

Neighbour - 2 dc, full time work in a good career, house is fucking spotless (I have been in at random times multiple times (they do not have a cleaner), kids in multiple activities, dad is a coach for one of the activities (he also works full time).
I thought fair enough that's a lot but fair play to them.

My dc joined a new activity yesterday eve and I bumped into neighbour in the corridor of the building, made our pleasantries, turned out her dc do this activity too and she is the secretary of the club and was at a meeting.

How do they do it?? why do they have so much time? where am i going wrong??

Yeah, people have different tolerances. For example I never committed my kids long term to any weekly weekend activities unless they were short and nearby or until the kids were old enough to take themselves as I really didn't like the idea of having weekends constrained by drop off/pick up.

As people have said, some people find their productivity spurred on by doing more.

My cousin is like this but she doesn’t watch any tv, doesn’t really read & doesn’t see friends that much because she is always doing X, Y & Z & multi tasking whilst doing this things.

OP said no cleaner

I’m baffled by it too OP! I work part time, have a great DH, great village, only one DS - yet I am exhausted all the time! We get DS to bed, do jobs and go to sleep! No idea how people have time/energy to even watch The Traitors 😂.

I am definitely someone who needs more sleep to function though.

I remember being on a parenting group with other mums who had a baby the same month as my DC2 when someone posted an article about a mum with a baby the same age as ours who was off to the Olympics. I think she had three DC under 5. We were all gobsmacked. I do think some people are just better humans. They are just better specimens than the rest of us. I think in times gone by they’d be the chieftains and village leaders.

Your a good example of different people functioning on different levels of sleep. I get ill on less than 8 hours a night average sleep which is frustrating. I'm jealous!!

I still fill the awake time though.

30 hours a week in a new developing role - so lots of additional admin in own time
Studying for an MSc
Commute an hour a day (wish i didn't have to but more because of the fuel costs).
DD8 50/50
Dog
No family support at all ever.
Do my own cleaning - given up trying to get a cleaner after first one i set up fell through and others are charging extortionate amounts - will just pay for car valet, oven clean, maybe deep clean a couple of times a year instead.
I do my cleaning in-between blocks of studying to keep me moving, likewise dog walking.
Go climbing once a week, study during rest time at wall.
Listened to audiobooks whilst driving to supplement studying.
DD does 2-3 activities after school a week.

I feel tired if i get a crap night's sleep, sometimes if I've studied too much and can't concentrate any more i switch around my plan to do something that requires less brain power.

It can be overwhelming, the point is to manage the overwhelm.

I would hate to live that way. I enjoy slobbing in front of Netflix too much.

I have one of these people as a friend, she is up at 5am everyday, her kids have always slept well (that helps), active PTA member, part time job, looks immaculate always, kids do tonnes of activities, have tutors, house looks amazing, she's very particular, BUT if she stops moving she gets anxiety. She doesn't go round telling people that though so she just looks like the most perfect, capable human alive!

Probably one of those people who was born tidy and organised - who trains their kids almost from birth to tidy up, put toys away, fold their clothes or put them in the laundry basket instead of just dumping them, etc. etc. etc.

My elder DSis is one of these, I am most certainly not…

Same! I couldn't function on that little sleep, I need 7-8 hours or I'm like a bad tempered zombie. DS sleeps a lot too (and still naps) so I get stuff done while he's sleeping.

I was very organised and active when working full-time and my house rarely got too messy. My DH and I really did share housework fairly and we both enjoyed busy hobbies (plural for each), plus cook from scratch meals most of the time and a productive garden. But we had a well oiled routine and worked well together. However, when I retired I was hoping to have a more relaxed but still organised way of life, but within a few weeks my elderly DF became very ill and then died a few months later. Suddenly my routine went out the window (never knew when the next call was coming) despite my DH picking up as much of my load as possible and suddenly our home felt very chaotic and it’s usual order just vanished. I realised that the bit that had disappeared was the focus and energy I brought to keeping planning, routine and order at home.

It’s been a year since DF died and his estate is finally sorted and finally I have the capacity to do what I do best at home. Life is smoother, even though we’ve got builders in atm and are living in 4 rooms surrounded by dust and piles of furniture.

OP, try not to beat yourself up about this. Your neighbour may simply just have more capacity to manage their lifestyle than you do presently. Or be putting on a good show!

If you are organised then it’s easy. It’s simple if you stay on top.

I only work 16 hours so no where near full time, but I have 4 DC aged 2-14 and a DH who works away for 5 days and back for the weekend.

my house is spotless, everything has a place the only possible mess is after cooking which is cleaned after eating and kids toys which is done every night. Quick hoover every evening and quick wipe down of surfaces everyday including the bathroom. Takes 30 minutes to do the dishes, the toys, hoover and surfaces because I stay on top there’s barely anything that actually needs a clean.

DH coaches eldests rugby team so comes home at 5:30 on a Fridays and then takes eldest to rugby .

weekends are all the kids sports, friends over, walking, beach, camping, friends parties, see family etc.

I manage all school runs to three different schools as one child is in high school, one in primary and one is in a special school and I have toddler with me 3 days a week and childcare for the two days I work.

i cook fresh everyday, do all the clubs, the food shopping, there is never piles of washing, I don’t have a cleaner or dishwasher and I don’t have a tumble dryer.

its only possible because I’m organised as hell. Write a list, set alarms if you have to but you just got to be organised.

Once littlest is in full time school it should actually be easier to stay on top as all children will be out the house 5 days a week and I can up my hours.

@hadthetimeofthedaysurely cooking for 5 from scratch & washing for 6 involves a lot of work without a dishwasher or dryer?

Agree. Some people are just this personality type. Always on the go, spinning plates and can't just relax and do nothing. Whereas some other people can't galvanise themselves into running their own most basic day efficiently, let alone manage loads of clubs/committees/voluntary stuff as well. I think most of us are somewhere in the middle.

With these Alpha types I always feel a bit sorry for their children though. I think sometimes it must be a bit like being brought up in the army. Everything is super-regimented and controlled, no-one gets to make a mess or be bored, or just do nothing for a bit. Every aspect of their childhood is planned and filled with something physical/sporty, educational or some 'enrichment' activity or other with no room to spare. Like going on holiday can't just be about being on holiday and having a nice time, it has to be about a chance to practise the language, or whatever.

You are a machine!! I had to give you my horse due to surgery meant it was too risky to fall but they give you a structure that I have lost. I think you should start your own thread and give us a Marie kondo clearout and tips on how to get our lives organised.

Don’t worry OP. Vast majority of people are in our category.

A lot of work even with a dishwasher & dryer!

It also depends on work hours and commute times. I was home yesterday and finished dinner by 5:30 I live 12 mins from work and dinner is always a joint effort between me and dp tbh. Tidy as we go etc. the rest of the evening was ours then. My dc have no clubs on a Monday so it’s our chill evening.

read the post , there’s no cleaner !

I don’t work f/t but DH does and the dc have 9-10 extracurriculars between them so something most evenings. Cook from scratch most days but house is often untidy & I feel like I never have time!

Health has a lot to do with things. At one point, I could study, hold down multiple jobs, aring roles and study, and manage without sleep. So presumably she's running on all cylinders!

Just live your life. Let others live theirs. 👍

They did in the opening post. They don’t have one.

As posted above, some people are just the type - always on the go, spinning plates and can't just relax and do nothing.

I have a full time job with frequent international travel, plus quite a bit of continuing education and networking required. I also have a part time job. Both DC do sports most evenings, with matches most weekends. 2 large dogs, 2 cats. House (tidy), garden, cooking from scratch. Always some kind of project going on, renovating the basement at the moment. Oh and I go to gym most days, thinking about a bodybuilding competition.

I don't need a lot of sleep. Have a lot of energy and drive and am very efficient at multitasking. Probably ADHD as I get obsessed and won't sit until whatever I decided to do is done.

Read the flipping thread !!!!

Agree that everyone sleeping well and decent health is probably key (though also note that this sort of lifestyle helps with sleeping well and staying healthy).

But they probably have better executive functioning, good routines and don't spend much time on TV or Mumsnet, etc. because they get satisfaction out of things like cooking or gardening, so it's energising rather than another chore.

Spotless house is often about having less stuff and a place for everything, then the habit of putting things away when you're done and not think I'll just leave that till later.

Laundry for 6 sounds a lot, but if you stick a load on to be done overnight and hang it first thing, then fold in the evening when you get in, it only take 20 minutes a day. Or you do the folding as a family every Tuesday in front of a favourite TV show. Unload the dishwasher while you're waiting for the kettle to boil/microwaving porridge/etc.