To despair at the crap some people feed their kids

[Apotofrealcoffee]

Currently watching a kid who can’t be more than age 3, tuck in to a packet of ‘squashie’ sweets on the bus. No sign of a tantrum, kid seems perfectly happy looking out the window, but out come the sweets. And to pre empt the ‘snobbery’ thing, the parent seems middle class to me and certainly eloquent.

I regularly see kids tucking into chocolate bars, packets of crisps, lollies, all on the school run. Many of them toddlers in their buggies dropping off older siblings. Parents meeting kids at the school gate with full packets of Oreos, bottles of pop, doughnuts.

I’ve been trying not to judge for years and have been repeatedly told it’s ’just one snapshot of their day’ but honestly, I feel like the time for judgement has entered. I have never fed my toddlers crap like that, let alone just after breakfast. My 3 year old has never had a fizzy drink.

Why, just why! AIBU to feel there needs to be some kind of very direct public health campaign at this point? Maybe even a ‘no sweets at the school gate’ rule?

My mum said about my three month old last week “I can’t wait to give him his first piece of cake” when we were in a cafe. Really??? Of all the foods to be looking forward to and yet that’s where her mind jumps

I am one of those mums (I'm not, but let's pretend) but your wise post has made a great impression on me.

I now see the error of my ways. I will stop giving my young children that sort of thing immediately. I don't know how to thank you 🙏🏻

Is that the sort of thing you're after?

Ah…the parent shaming is starting early today.

I bet they gave him a screen too didn’t they 🙄

Sorry op I have voted YABU, because I agree with the ‘it’s just a snapshot of their day’ point.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

I greet my 6 year old after club one day a week with some crisps. But then he eats really well generally, ‘has never had a fizzy drink’ as you put it.

DC1 never had sweets until he was 4 years old, after being given them at nursery for Halloween.

It's probably Halloween leftover that they were promised. I try and avoid sweets etc but I'm not going to pretend my DC have organic root veg as a treat.

I would wait until your child is in secondary and they have access to shops without you and see what happens. Go to our town at 4pm and the coffee shops are full of children from 'naice' backgrounds guzzling back 3000 calories of cream lattes and bubble teas.

Everyone parents differently.
Personally, I wouldn't have let my kids behave the way I see many kids behaving these days.
We didn't have any gaming devices in the house.
We had terrestrial TV only so could only watch kids TV when it was in the schedule.
We allowed some sweets/snacks/squash, but ate healthy food too.
I was a SAHM mum because I wanted my children to be brought up in the way I wanted.
We didn't give them designer clothes because ... well why would you?!

Didn't judge others who did things differently though.

You do you.

Perhaps concentrate on your own children and leave others to look after their children. You have no idea what those parents feed their children on day to day.
I read an interesting article today based on some research that shows severely restricting children access to sweets leads to them being unable to self regulate and are more likely to binge eat the sweets when they do have access to them

I daresay a vegan would be appalled at the meat I feed my dc, and call it crap.

You have no idea whether those sweets were a weekly treat, an earned reward, or a resource for a mother desperate for a safe bus journey with a ND child.

You are too quick to judge.

Why do you care what other people feed their kids?
I doubt Sqashams is the only thing the child is being fed have a 🎖 for being a perfect parent 🙄

How would they police no sweets at the school gates, exactly? I think teachers have enough to do as it is without turning into the sweetie patrol every weekday.

It really is just a snapshot of their day. Granted there will be a small minority being fed crap constantly but YABU to be judgemental. My kids have a healthy diet, almost everything they eat is cooked from scratch, including the bread in their sandwiches. Many of their vegetables are grown in our garden, for dinner last night they had pumpkin, coconut and chilli soup, the onions, garlic, chilli and pumpkin were all home grown.

They also get to pick a treat for after their swimming lessons every week, a parent who just sees my kids at swimming would think they eat nothing but Smarties.

My child has a healthy and varied diet but if you saw us on the school run you’d judge us. Child loves pom bear, chocolate, cake and comes out of school ravenous. My child also has disabilities which make some things more challenging than they are for neurotypical children.

Life is hard enough without depriving yourself of a little bit of what you fancy.

I also believe that being judgmental - as you are - is quite bad for your health. I would be asking myself if your unhealthy behaviours might influence your darling children more negatively than the occasional haribo.

All of you with clever ripostes to the OP, who are you expecting to pay for and provide health care including dentistry for kids with poor diets? No one's teeth rot overnight, nobody becomes obese spontaneously. It starts somewhere, and ends somewhere.

Why do children need food at school pick up? Genuine question! Does this really happen? Could they be going straight on to after school clubs?

I admit that I was always ravenous after school and would usually make a sandwich when I got home (had a long walk home from school). But most parents seem to pick their children up in the car these days.

My own children are young adults now and I definitely never saw anyone give their child food at pick up.

Children wouldn’t love what they had never tasted though and young brains are especially susceptible to junk chemicals

daily after school isn’t occasional

When my oldest was at primary school an ice cream van parked up outside school everyday just before the kids came out of school
He was very popular
Back in the day when i was at school in the 80s an ice cream vsn parked in the play ground for the whole of the lunch hour!

YANBU OP, it’s common sense.
There will be a stream of posters saying it could be a one off, or it’s a safe food etc but let’s be honest - looking at the high rates of obesity and the record number of kids addicted to junk food and UPF’s it’s statistically likely not to be a one off and just poor parenting. It’s particularly baffling in really small children as an 18 month old clearly isn’t asking for sweets and could just as happily have a piece of fruit. There’s plenty of time for sweet treats in moderation when they’re older and aware!

I agree OP. I don't buy the crap in the first place. My DGC is perfectly happy with a few grapes cut in halves or an apple sliced up. They know neither Nanny nor Mummy buy biscuits, or fizzy drinks so they don't ask for them. I see parents handing over chocolate bars, biscuits and bakery items to toddlers in pushchairs almost everytime I go out. It's scary and unnecessary.

One bag of sweeties does not constitute a poor diet.

My child comes out starving hungry. I don’t think the portions are big enough tbh! Also loads of physical exercise and play throughout the day in reception

Assuming the OP is in the UK, at 9:20 in the morning it’s not great….

I definitely think schools shouldn’t let kids hand out birthday sweets, divali sweets, etc. We got this at nursery, reception and even girls in ballet all handing out sweets on their birthdays!

It’s so hard to say no to and just ends up with being sweets normalised every day.

And no sweets handed out from teachers or supervisors to kids at Christmas or end of term in clubs and extra curriculars.

This was/is me. My parents always used to boast “She never had sweets or chocolate till she went to play school.” I was never given money for a 10p mix, 40-odd years later, I find it extremely difficult to regulate around sweets/chocolate. We did always have dessert though which probably equates my parents to a mass murderer on here.

It’s not really just a snapshot, I agree we should drop that pretence. There are plenty of parents of every social class who give their children chocolate or sweets or junk food EVERY DAY. Our bodies are not built for this and it’s weird that parents who are otherwise often brilliant parents have been conned into thinking this is harmless.

Unless OP personally knows these random parents or sees their DC scoffing sweets for breakfast daily then it absolutely is a snapshot.