Partner turned down a free 'upgrade' to sit next to me!

[Annteeta]

On a recent flight, my partner was three rows in front of me as we weren't too bothered about paying to sit together on a 2-hour flight. After we got on, he brought me a sandwich from his bag. The woman next to me realised we knew each other and offered to swap to his row to sit next to her relative. I thought, "Great," but he immediately said, "I'm very sorry, but I'm settled where I am." To be honest, I was taken aback, as he'd only been on the plane two minutes. He made some excuse about how he put his case in the overhead locker, but I said it didn't matter as he could still move. He glowered at me and gave me such a look I was fuming. He had no real reason not to move. Am I being unreasonable to be put out about this? It just struck me as a really weird thing to do.

That’s very strange. Why would you choose not to sit with your DP on a flight if you had a free option to do so? I’d be very unimpressed with that.

Well we're all different aren't we. I don't want to chat or look out of the window on a plane and I don't need to grab DH's hand during turbulence, why would I need to do that? All I want to do on a flight is have my headphones in and a book or magazine open.

Totally depends on the seats. Was it extra leg room aisle to normal middle row?

Also, 2 hours, its a bit of a faff if hes got all his stuff ready.

depends. if he had been allocated an aisle or window seat and presumably would be in the middle seat if sat next to you I wouldnt change either tbh and its only two hours - literally up and down flight

Why would you want a converation with a total stranger about anything? Little is more annoying than the passenger who expects their seat neighbour to provide entertainment on a flight, take the hint, if you get no response, shut up! It's certainly not an 'upgrade' to be offered a seat next to your partner.

Same. We often book an aisle (me) and a window (him) and if we can’t get them in the same row, we don’t care.
Anyone booked in ‘our’ middle seat usually assumes we’d like to sit together, but we soon disabuse them of that quaint idea!

There’s a difference between not choosing from before you sit down versus choosing it later when you’ve already settled down and got your stuff out. Needing to get your bag from a different row at the end is potentially hassle and can cause you to be delayed getting off.

i do think it strange that your DP didn't want to sit next to you for the flight when offered the opportunity to do so. The "im settled" excuse is a bit flimsy.
I think i would have offered to swap with the woman next to yous DP ,your partners reaction to that might have been insightful.
I never mind not sitting next to partner on a short flight but if he or i turned down the option ,it would feel weird.
Imagine you are at the check in desk and they say would you like to sit together and you say no thanks.....

I'd prefer to sit next to DH on a flight too but if I'd already put my bag in the overhead, got my personal stuff ready etc, then I would probably stay where I was especially for a 2 hour flight. For longer, then yes, I'd probably move. I don't think you should take it personally.

My DH and I both like the aisle.

We book aisle seats across from each other but they often don't line up exactly.

@Annteeta Have I misssed where you said what the "upgrade" was?
Because if it is to sit in middle to be by you I'd give that a miss too-especially for such a short flight!!!

Wife and I would always take the opportunity to sit next to each other . Both crap 'flyers' and need to hand hold !

What’s the point?

You’re going to see them in less than 2 hours.

What difference does it make if you’re sat next to them or a few feet away?

The main reason why people would want to sit next to their partners is so they can chat - the exact reason why the other person doesn’t want to sit there, as they don’t want to chat.

I feel like MN is turning into Kiss Mens Arse Net. Nearly every thread ive read recently where a bloke has been a dickhead the lamest excuses for shitty behaviour are given.

Is weird he didn't want to sit next to you and even weirder some think he couldnt read his book/scratch his arse/eat his fucking sandwich/play suduko in peace because oh no, youre next to him 🙄

Oh well. Perhaps when he expects holiday sex you'll want to read your book in peace.

Not really relevant here but I much prefer to sit away from dh on flights. I can't be doing with the endless, "can you just hold this for me," and "have you got a ..." (in your bag on the floor which means moving everything off the tray, and putting it back up so you can awkwardly lean forward and rummage for something he's probably got in his own bag).
I was given an upgrade to premium once and he insisted on swapping seats halfway through the flight and I was "selfish" for not wanting to.

Why didn't you swap with the relative?

No excuses are being made on any men's behalf. This thread is mostly full of women explaining why they'd behave in the same way and why it isn't weird.

What is weird is bringing sex into it. If she doesn't want to have sex then she shouldn't, regardless of whether he sat next to her on the flight or not. If she doesn't want to have sex with him in general then obviously she shouldn't be in a relationship with him.

Because you like different seats.

I like an aisle seat and won’t sit in anything else. DH likes a window seat (heaven’s knows why but that’s his choice). Both of us refuse to sit in a middle seat. So that’s why we choose not to sit next to each other. We get the first aisle seat and first window seat towards the front that we can get when booking, which is never in the same row and often on opposite sides of the plane. We are in Aus so pretty much every flight we take is long haul and we cope just fine sitting apart in our preferred seats and meeting up immediately after we disembark. How is this strange?

Or the op could have just booked next to him in the first place like a grown up?

I like my husband very much but I don't need to be glued to his side for a 2 hour flight.

Well, in the case of my wife, it’s because she falls asleep pretty much the moment we’re airborne and stays that way for hours. Scintillating company on a flight is not one of her strong points.

When we fly short haul I usually try to get the aisle seat between her, so she can recline without having to worry about the person behind complaining.