Partner turned down a free 'upgrade' to sit next to me!

[Annteeta]

On a recent flight, my partner was three rows in front of me as we weren't too bothered about paying to sit together on a 2-hour flight. After we got on, he brought me a sandwich from his bag. The woman next to me realised we knew each other and offered to swap to his row to sit next to her relative. I thought, "Great," but he immediately said, "I'm very sorry, but I'm settled where I am." To be honest, I was taken aback, as he'd only been on the plane two minutes. He made some excuse about how he put his case in the overhead locker, but I said it didn't matter as he could still move. He glowered at me and gave me such a look I was fuming. He had no real reason not to move. Am I being unreasonable to be put out about this? It just struck me as a really weird thing to do.

It makes sense to want alone time but why would you want to lie about your lifestyle to a stranger?

It was a 2 hour flight and the original plan wasn't to sit together anyway. He was happy where he was.

I really don't see the issue.

Sounds like he declined the woman's suggestion because he saw it as being a favour she was asking of him (so that she could sit with her relative) - not as a favour to him. He was in grumpy curmudgeon mode and didn't want to put himself out for strangers, even though he benefited equally

OP you haven’t said what type of seats are involved. If you were asking him to move from an aisle or window seat to a center seat then I dont blame him. Id stay put.

YABU .... and needy. 3 hours is nothing.

Flew recently with Ryanair, and DS (13) was sat the seat/row in front of me, aisle seat. He was delighted, as he hates the middle. The lady next to him in the middle first tried to tell him he was in the wrong seat (not realising I was behind). When I put her right, the lady next to me in the middle offered to let him swap.

We both declined, as both of us happy with our aisle seats. A middle seat is the worst.

My DH sleeps on planes; he's always delighted if we don't get sat together.

???? Yes, exactly. I know how seating works. I was talking about choosing the seats when booking. I obviously wasn’t talking about standing in the plane and choosing them, because as you say, it’s not a bus😵‍💫.

So did I. It's very misleading.

A strange interpretation of what OP describes.

So if they wanted to sit together why didn't they book together i doubt the op will be back though

DH and I ignore each other on flights so it really doesn't matter unless we are flying with ds then I'm not doing that alone! Flying time is reading/podcast/nap time

ETA also in his shoes I would feel like the woman felt obligated to swap because we knew each other, when we'd actually chosen not to bother paying for seats next to each other and she should keep her own seat

that is literally the question her post answers? But you quoted her to ask it again?

I’d be annoyed too op for a partner who doesn’t live with you. It’s different as a long married maxed out mum 😁

Apart from all the women in this thread saying they wouldn't move either?

I'm another. I'm not bothered whether I sit next to DH on a flight or not - we're both headphones in, head down in a book for the whole thing anyway, whoever's next to me barely registers. I am bothered about whether I'm in an aisle seat or not and would not be moving out of one into a window/middle seat for anything. I don't especially like having my overhead bag several aisles away either, and once I'm settled I'd prefer not to move.

I'd also find a partner who turned all that into some sort of litmus test of our relationship to be very tiresome and needy.

What on earth does sitting next to someone on a plane have to do with love?

The point of a relationship is to support each other in low times and to enjoy spending pleasurable times together. A flight is neither of those things. It's boring and uncomfortable and the best way to deal with it is to pretend it isn't happening. You don't need to be sitting next to your partner for that. You're about to spend an entire holiday with them having a nicer time.

And even in a relationship everyone needs time alone, anyway.

I read the first few responses and mumsnet just proving they don’t like their partners very much. Yes it’s very sad and weird he didn’t want to be mildly inconvenienced for 2 minutes so he could sit next fo you in the flight. If I have an option to sit next to a stranger or my wife, I’m choosing to sit next to my wife. Obviously

Because it's cost extra money.

You wasn't arsed to begin with as it was only a 2hr flight.....a long haul i can understand but not 2hrs.

My DH and I don't bother booking seats together if it costs extra (some airlines do it automatically). He falls asleep as soon as the plane takes off so I might as well be on my own anyway.

gannett

It’s going on holiday though, you can take a breather from your other half another time!! You sit there chat, look out the window, grab his hand and break it during turbulence 😉

we weren't too bothered about paying to sit together on a 2-hour flight

Their own words. When sitting next to each other came at a cost to them, they werent arsed yet when it was offered for free, offended they didn't take it.....

How was it an upgrade? Were you in the emergency row seats with extra legroom?

I can understand his view, I wouldn’t want to move once settled.

What a weird use of the word "normal" 🙂

Given a large group of people of different ages and backgrounds it's quite NORMAL to find a range of different opinions/ reactions.

Various pp have already pointed out that it would be very NORMAL to refuse to swap an aisle or window seat for the middle.

Personally I find it hard to understand why couples act as if they are joined at the hip. I am very happy to sit apart from my husband on a short flight - we'll have plenty of time together on the rest of the holiday and it's nice to talk to strangers sometimes, or just quietly read my book.

LTB 😂😂

I agree.

I wouldn’t have bothered moving for a 2 hour flight.

When travelling I always like to just chill out and day dream.
If I can avoid talking then I will.

If he doesn’t like talking with strangers then this is probably the reason why.
If he sat next to you you’d want to chat and perhaps he didn’t want to.

For everyone still confused as to the 'upgrade' element: it's like a Ryanair upgrade where you pay more to sit together
NOT a business class upgrade ffs 😅

You can love your partner and not need to be right next to them all day.

They chose to book seats that weren’t together, so they obviously weren’t bothered about it.