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Partner turned down a free 'upgrade' to sit next to me!

128 replies

Annteeta · Yesterday 22:43

On a recent flight, my partner was three rows in front of me as we weren't too bothered about paying to sit together on a 2-hour flight. After we got on, he brought me a sandwich from his bag. The woman next to me realised we knew each other and offered to swap to his row to sit next to her relative. I thought, "Great," but he immediately said, "I'm very sorry, but I'm settled where I am." To be honest, I was taken aback, as he'd only been on the plane two minutes. He made some excuse about how he put his case in the overhead locker, but I said it didn't matter as he could still move. He glowered at me and gave me such a look I was fuming. He had no real reason not to move. Am I being unreasonable to be put out about this? It just struck me as a really weird thing to do.

OP posts:
Elvisisahero · Yesterday 22:50

I would probably do the same as your DP
I love having time on my own to chill during flights. It doesn't mean I love DH less, I just enjoy my book/podcast/film or absolutely made up lifestyle chat with my seat mate along with a G&T and some snacks I dont have to share

Then we have the whole trip to be a couple

PollyBell · Yesterday 22:51

Once I am settled i am settled

Lifejigsaw · Yesterday 22:51

It’s on for him to enjoy a flight in peace.

how was it an upgrade though?

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 22:52

He was obviously looking forward to the 2 hours on his own, which is basically what you agreed. I can’t see why that’s an issue when it was always the plan.

mynameiscalypso · Yesterday 22:52

Was it the same ‘type’ of seat? If I had an aisle away from my DH, no way would I be swapping to sit next to him unless it was to another aisle.

CarbonelKitten · Yesterday 22:53

I can see both sides.

My partner loves sitting next to me, I'm happy to do so on the outward journey when we're all excited. So if offered, I would swap. On the way home I'd not be as bothered 😁

PercyGherkin · Yesterday 22:54

So she was sat next to you and he was next to her relative, so he said no and also prevented them sitting together as well?

Did you tell her that her relative could have your seat and swap instead?

PercyGherkin · Yesterday 22:55

Yeah, same type of seat (or not) is very relevant. I wouldn't swap to a middle seat for example.

Dating40s · Yesterday 22:59

Hmmm not great
I’d be disappointed

How is your relationship otherwise?

Itsjustgonenoonhalfpastmonsoon · Yesterday 23:00

I read your title wrong. I thought this was going to be about your husband declining an upgrade because he wanted to remain seated with you.

boxgoog · Yesterday 23:00

PercyGherkin · Yesterday 22:54

So she was sat next to you and he was next to her relative, so he said no and also prevented them sitting together as well?

Did you tell her that her relative could have your seat and swap instead?

This?

EveryoneUsingOutro · Yesterday 23:04

Itsjustgonenoonhalfpastmonsoon · Yesterday 23:00

I read your title wrong. I thought this was going to be about your husband declining an upgrade because he wanted to remain seated with you.

Me too, thought it was going to be a warming tale of him turning down business class to sit next to his beloved!

The seating is relevant. I wouldn’t swop from an aisle (so I can stick my long legs out) or a window (views) for a middle (absolutely the worst option) for anyone!

Annteeta · Yesterday 23:06

PercyGherkin · Yesterday 22:54

So she was sat next to you and he was next to her relative, so he said no and also prevented them sitting together as well?

Did you tell her that her relative could have your seat and swap instead?

No, because when he'd been quite techy about the swap and glowered at me, I actually felt "well F you then". We don't even live together, so it's not like he sees me 24/7. It's not like he enjoys chatting to strangers either.

OP posts:
FancyKitten · Yesterday 23:09

boxgoog · Yesterday 23:00

This?

Yeah, I would have got the other two sitting together by moving over next to husband?

BaobhanSith · Yesterday 23:15

Annteeta · Yesterday 23:06

No, because when he'd been quite techy about the swap and glowered at me, I actually felt "well F you then". We don't even live together, so it's not like he sees me 24/7. It's not like he enjoys chatting to strangers either.

Why didn’t you offer to swap to go sit with him? He said he was settled, you claim it was 2 minutes on the plane so you weren't settled yourself, why not move?

When we used to travel as a group, there was only one person I would sit beside because she didn't want to talk endlessly on the flight either and we could both travel in peace. Maybe he just wanted to read or nap.

Notasbigasithink · Yesterday 23:24

Annteeta · Yesterday 22:43

On a recent flight, my partner was three rows in front of me as we weren't too bothered about paying to sit together on a 2-hour flight. After we got on, he brought me a sandwich from his bag. The woman next to me realised we knew each other and offered to swap to his row to sit next to her relative. I thought, "Great," but he immediately said, "I'm very sorry, but I'm settled where I am." To be honest, I was taken aback, as he'd only been on the plane two minutes. He made some excuse about how he put his case in the overhead locker, but I said it didn't matter as he could still move. He glowered at me and gave me such a look I was fuming. He had no real reason not to move. Am I being unreasonable to be put out about this? It just struck me as a really weird thing to do.

I'd rather be sat next to my husband than a complete stranger!
I'd be pissed off too tbh!

cantthinkofagoodusername2026 · Yesterday 23:25

The exact seats are key! No way I would give up an aisle seat for example, and I wouldn't expect DH to do so.

CrapADoodleCupcake · Yesterday 23:25

What was the ‘free upgrade’ here? I’m not understanding this part of your thread title. Did you have better seats than him?

AddledPeacock · Yesterday 23:26

What is the upgrade?

XiCi · Yesterday 23:28

Yes sorry thats really weird of him to decline the swap and I cant believe anyone is pretending that it isnt. Have you asked him why he behaved like that?

DuffyDavy · Yesterday 23:30

CrapADoodleCupcake · Yesterday 23:25

What was the ‘free upgrade’ here? I’m not understanding this part of your thread title. Did you have better seats than him?

Getting to sit beside her is the “upgrade”

Nylonflares · Yesterday 23:30

Annteeta · Yesterday 23:06

No, because when he'd been quite techy about the swap and glowered at me, I actually felt "well F you then". We don't even live together, so it's not like he sees me 24/7. It's not like he enjoys chatting to strangers either.

This is pants

I too would be upset

Dimsumthang · Yesterday 23:35

Notasbigasithink · Yesterday 23:24

I'd rather be sat next to my husband than a complete stranger!
I'd be pissed off too tbh!

Of course you would so you give him an ear bashing !

Likeawaterfallflowingtothesea · Yesterday 23:36

I would always want to sit next to my partner and not a stranger, so that's weird to me. Plus he was glowering and horrible, no I would not like that.

Nylonflares · Yesterday 23:37

XiCi · Yesterday 23:28

Yes sorry thats really weird of him to decline the swap and I cant believe anyone is pretending that it isnt. Have you asked him why he behaved like that?

Yes, but it’s par for the course on here to pretend that normal feelings are weird