Partner turned down a free 'upgrade' to sit next to me!

[Annteeta]

On a recent flight, my partner was three rows in front of me as we weren't too bothered about paying to sit together on a 2-hour flight. After we got on, he brought me a sandwich from his bag. The woman next to me realised we knew each other and offered to swap to his row to sit next to her relative. I thought, "Great," but he immediately said, "I'm very sorry, but I'm settled where I am." To be honest, I was taken aback, as he'd only been on the plane two minutes. He made some excuse about how he put his case in the overhead locker, but I said it didn't matter as he could still move. He glowered at me and gave me such a look I was fuming. He had no real reason not to move. Am I being unreasonable to be put out about this? It just struck me as a really weird thing to do.

Thats the million dollar question or in this case Ryanair downgrade to sit next to your partner 😕

Because it wasn’t the person sitting next to him who offered to move

So OP would’ve just had to go up to someone who was settled and asked them to move

@Annteeta I would also find that weird.

Oh right! 😂 That went over my head completely! I couldn’t get worked up about this to be fair…I like a quiet flight and chance to read (or sleep!) 🤷‍♀️

I don't ever give my husband an ear bashing?? 🤷‍♀️

Yes bit that other person was the justification for asking for the move. So, if fair to ask the OP’s partner than equally fair to ask that “settled” person. It’s not like it was some stranger.

How is that an upgrade?

Defo a bit weird. You say you don’t live together so maybe a good time to investigate any other weird behaviours

I've noticed a real increase in multiple answers that just seem weird.
I would always prefer to sit next to my husband than next to a stranger and would be quite sad if he didn't feel that way too. (And we live together and, as we both work from home quite a lot, often do see each other 24/7). Sitting together doesn't mean that you have to be chatting away. We would often both be watching our own films or reading or sleeping. But I can't imagine not moving.
It's a very clear sign that he's not that into you, unfortunately.

Yes this, I wouldn’t want to give up a window seat or one with extra leg room. I’m of the opinion if you’re flying with someone you’ve either just spent a few days together or are just about to, so not sitting together on a short flight is fine!

I think it's strange behaviour! My partner would want to sit next to me for sure. I would feel quite affronted.

I think she means I stead of them both sitting alone the upgrade would be to be able to sit together. I don't think she means business or first class

A lot of people are raised not to put other people out.

What upgrade?

OP is meaning that he would be able to sit with the person he was going on holiday with rather than a stranger. She didn't mean a literal seat upgrade, hence her putting "upgrade" in quote marks.

OP if I'd got settled enough to have found the sandwich I was holding for you I'd have put my case and coat in the overhead bin, may the jumper I wore just incase it got nippy on the plane too, squished my personal item under the seat in front of me, sat down, pulled my personal item back out, opened it up and unloaded my laptop, kindle, a battery pack and cord, headphones, water and my sandwich/snacks, and possibly a magazine too. Had a palaver finding space for it all in the seat pocket (because it's too much stuff), got your sandwich out and balanced it in a corner of the seat (possibly next to mine if I can't fit it in the seat pocket) while I pushed my bag back under the seat. Probably knocked your sandwich umpteen times while doing so. And possibly kicked off my shoes and stuffed them into the pocket on the side of my bag.

The thought of getting everything back into my bag to move and then getting it all out again so that I can watch my movie or read my book for two hours while I'm sat next to you would not be appealing. I would still be looking forward to sitting net to you on the beach/in the restaurant/standing in line for the museum/etc.

Not really an upgrade if he was already settled and you said yourself neither of you could be bothered to pay extra to sit together.

Plus it was only a two-hour flight FGS. If he’d declined to sit next to you on a seven hour flight to New York, you would have something to worry about.

He was comfy and happy - I totally get it. And you don’t have to sit next to your friends in every class 🙂 I don’t think it’s a sign of bad things, OP - don’t worry. Also if sitting next to him was important, why didn’t you book that? It’s only by the good grace of that woman that you had the opportunity to sit with him.

Yeah I'd be pissed off if DH would rather sit next to a stranger than me.

Either you're bloody annoying or he's just not that into you. I get people who've been together 20 years and spend every second together not being fussed but it doesn't sound you've been together long and you don't live together. You're still supposed to want to spend time together

Also, I won't be glowered at. He could have said "sorry I just want to have a nap in peace" or whatever.

Very poor behaviour esp as other party also wanted to swap. Looks very badly on him. I would find this unattractive.

I understood the 'upgrade' to be sitting with OP rather than next to a stranger. That's OP's point of view, obviously, but it seems the partner didn't see it that way!

I think you're making a too big deal out of this. Just a two hour flight, you get on the plane, get your seat, don't need any more hassle, for two fucking hours.

It’s a bit weird-but what I think is weirder and incredibly rude is to say no to moving so the other woman could sit next to her partner-even if he was hoping for a quiet flight himself. He could have made 3 people happier-he selfishly said no.

I'd be annoyed and hurt unless swapping would have meant he couldn't sit comfortably (or had to give up an aisle seat he needed). If someone would rather stay next to a stranger than sit next to me on the plane (especially when moving would have benefited two other passengers as well), I'd question why we were even going on holiday together.

Same

I read that quickly and thought you like to stick your long legs out of the window! I was wondering what I’d missed when flying! 😂