To think neurodivergence is more common than neurotypical?

[PrincessOfPreschool]

I'm expecting to get hammered for this and it's only based on my sample size of family, extended family/ in laws, friends, people I work with, children I work with but...

I know a LOT of people who I would describe as 'neurodivergent', I think more than I know who are 'neurotypical'. Some of these are diagnosed (more of the younger generation, a few of my generation and none of my parents' generation - in their 80s). Obviously it's a spectrum so only a very few are significantly impacted in their daily lives (unable to go to school or work) but I can definitely see strong traits in my generation and older, many coping mechanisms being used throughout their lives. I do have quite a high awareness due to training in my work, and knowing friends family with ADHD and autism.

I wondered if it's just my family and the people I know, or if neurodivergence is actually really common to the point of being equally, or even more common, than neurotypical. Why is called divergent if it's actually quite typical?

What's your experience?

Yes, although I do think it’s genetic- my friends who have kids who are nt are pretty sure they’re nt too. But yes, my sons all have friends who are nt and there’s a few in each of their classes too

You’re not wrong, but a lot of those people are just self diagnosing. 75% of my close friend group seem to have decided they’re autistic or have adhd in the last few years.

I worked in a school for autistic kids. I knew loads and loads of autistic people.

more generally, people who are ND do tend to cluster. It runs in families so if your family has it you probably know quite a few (eg my dd, a nephew, a niece and my FIL) but if you family does not you probably don’t know any.

unless you work in computer programming or are a mathematician. Then I think lots are.

Self diagnosis is a mixed blessing.

We knew this already didn’t we? Every person is an amazing unique mind based on their own experiences, genetic profile, environment. I’ve always believed trying to separate everyone into 2 categories is bollocks. I also think social media has created hideously high expectations as to what a functioning person is - immaculate house, perfect figure, fashionable clothes, aesthetic everything, lots of money - and when people don’t fit this they think they must be ‘neurodiverse’.

I’m actually quite surprised now whenever I meet somebody and they don’t have a child either diagnosed or ‘waiting for assessment’, especially if they have 3 or more kids.

I know a LOT of people who I would describe as 'neurodivergent', I think more than I know who are 'neurotypical'.

But you 'describing them' isn't a diagnosis so YABU.

On MN it seems the norm but that's possibly because it's an online advice forum.

@importantupdateI don't think the people I know are even self diagnosing - I see it when they probably don't. I think I am and DH is, but not diagnosed nor interested in being. One DC is diagnosed (ADHD but I suspect Audhd), other 2 are less impacted but I still see many traits.

It is either everyone you know (because you are also ND) or no-one you know except maybe one guy from work (if you are NT and assuming your job doesn't involve exposure to huge cross-sections of the public).

Research suggests that about 15-20% of people have neurodiversity and this is including ALL ND i.e. dyspraxia, dyslexia etc. So I think you are mistaken.

Yes I see it everywhere now, it really is a spectrum.

YANBU. NT is the new ND!

My daughter is diagnosed autistic. She is 9 and has significant struggles in her life. I find it a bit offensive to suggest shes in the majority when I'm surrounded by children who can all cope with school, after school clubs, parties, events etc that she cannot amongst lots of other things and our life isn't easy making sure her struggles are minimal. And shes not even in a specialist school, just mainstream. So no, I do not believe ND is the majority.

I think alot of people arent actually neurodivergent. It feels like the new trend, like when it was trendy to have anxiety.

What I read on here about ND people bears no resemblance with my experiences in real life.

I don’t have a single friend, friend’s child or family member who would describe themselves as ND.

I can’t help but feel that in many cases it is simply used as an excuse for other controllable issues.

Of course many won’t like that comment which kind of proves the point.

For the avoidance of doubt I don’t think there are zero cases of genuine ND however the number of reported instances is clearly nonsense. You only have to compare to literally every other country in the world to appreciate how over diagnosed it is.

It plays in to the current psyche of there being an excuse for everything.

I think self-diagnosis offers a useful lens through which to understand one's traits and challenges. In education, support should not hinge on a diagnosis, but be needs-based -available at the point of need. This is often not the case in cash-strapped education settings, hence the pressure to obtain a diagnosis for one's struggling child: appropriate support becomes contingent on a formal diagnosis. I am sure that, were we not as poor as church-mice in education, nor under such perverse pressure to make one size fit all, many of the young people who are struggling so desperately in schools every day all over the country would perhaps find themselves better able to manage with better support, and parents would not feel so immensely pressured to obtain diagnoses. That's not to say those children and young people would be any less autistic or not have ADHD, but the school environment would not be so hostile to individuals with social and communication differences and processing differences.

ND covers a lot of things, ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, BPD and many more. That captures a lot of people. I think the terms ND and NT are problematic. Particularly the NT. There isn't a worldwide typical neuro type. We're all different, a lot of people have different struggles. Those who are significantly impaired by their difference meet the criteria for a diagnosis. Those who aren't significantly impaired often label themselves ND and it can diminish the struggle of those who are diagnosed. It leads to comments like 'everyone is ND these days' 'NDs no excuse' 'my best friend is ND and she can work full time, why can't you' 'my neighbour is ND and she doesn't avoid eye contact so you're just being rude'. A few years ago if someone was autistic people viewed that was serious, they viewed it as a disability because the only people they knew being referred to that way were disabled.
I think we need to let the ND and NT go. I say that with no judgement, I use the terms myself sometimes but I don't think I should.

A lot of my family have traits but none are diagnosed. I work in an industry with a lot of people who might be ND but either don’t advertise the fact, are unaware or have never entertained the thought. Normal is a spectrum, I think. I don’t think it’s necessary to get a diagnosis in all cases anyway, just live your life according to your wavelength.

I think the medicalisation of personality traits has hit peak levels so that just being quirky, eccentric or shy etc has been broadly eradicated in favour of ND. This coupled with the explosion of self diagnosis encouraged by social media gives the impression of far greater prevalence than there actually is imo.

Agreed. There will be people with ND familes and those who tend to relate well to people with ND thinking patterns who know a disproportion of ND people compared to the rest of the population.

There is a bias on MN too because of online discussion boards being an accessible social outlet to people with social skills being a trait of their neurodivergence, plus families socially isolated by their ND children who spend less time out and about.

Working in a mainstream school, the proportion of diagnoses has changed in the past 10-15 years and the baseline of SNs has shifted too due to inclusion policies and avaliability of specialist provision, but the general balance of personality traits hasn't changed since I started teaching 20+ years ago or was at school 30 years ago. The traits are just better recognised, understood and supported. This means fewer people secretly struggling along like they used to.

When you're ND yourself, ND people end up being overrepresented in your life. It's genetic and you gravitate towards others.

But you could say that about anything
I presume you are not part of an assessment team that diagnoses ND condtions ?
Just becsuse you think somone is ND doesnt mean they are .

Totally agree it's just personality with many people isn't it.

Obviously some do have significant mh issues that impact on their ability to live full and active lives but those who work, who live independently and then say they have a 'hidden disability' because they have adhd are absolutely commonplace nowadays.

Adhd is the new anxiety and depression.

This is a logical fallacy. If NT is the minority, then it isn't typical and is not something to diverge from.

Looking at everyone around you and deciding that they have traits that are in common with ND traits does not automatically mean they are ND. You are taking things in isolation rather than considering the whole person.

I see it when they probably don't. I think I am and DH is, but not diagnosed nor interested in being. One DC is diagnosed (ADHD but I suspect Audhd), other 2 are less impacted but I still see many traits
It's called the Barnum Effect. Sadly, this has become a common generational phenomenon when it comes to ND.