Am I rude?

[air3296]

I had a slightly awkward experience at the supermarket today and would genuinely like to hear what people in the UK think.
It was around lunchtime on a Saturday, and the supermarket was really busy, with quite a long queue for the self-checkouts.
The person in front of me had a fairly large shop. As they scanned their items, they took their time packing everything into bags, repeatedly hesitating and changing their mind about which items should go where.
I didn’t really mind that, as everyone has their own pace.
However, after scanning all their items, they still didn’t pay. Instead, they continued taking their time rearranging everything in their bags, while occupying the checkout and holding up the queue.
At that point, I said: “Could you please pay first? We’re in a rush.”
I wasn’t asking them to stop packing altogether. I just thought they could pay first and then move aside to finish packing, so the next person could use the checkout.
Now I’m wondering whether what I said was considered rude or impolite by British standards.
What’s the general etiquette at self-checkouts in the UK, especially when the supermarket is really busy? Was I being unreasonable, or was my request perfectly fair?
I’d genuinely appreciate honest opinions, even if you think I was in the wrong.

Its a total case of main character syndrome, isn't it? Its not about you, OP.

As if anyone would bother wasting their own time just to deliberately annoy the impatient arse behind them.

It’s a good idea isn’t it, to try and integrate.

You and your family seem a bit weird. Debating a supermarket interaction for hours. Do you all not have better things to be doing? I thought you were all in a rush? Assuming you had an important event or appointment to get to.

None of us here were there to witness what happened.

Only your family and other shoppers in the queue were witness to your tone of voice, facial expressions and body language.

By your description here, I would say you were rude and impatient. Others will think you were reasonable.

Next time you are in a rush, don’t go to a supermarket midday on a Saturday and stand directly behind someone with a large shop at a self check out queue. Back off a bit and wait until the next available machine is free.

If the till person or the person behind has offended in some way then I have been known to take longer than I usually would. Eg. A cashier that almost throws food down at me. Things I am paying for.
A person behind who moves the bar you put down for the next person right up to your shopping. When you placed it perfectly okay in the first place. Not miles away, no. Or, they nudge the front of their trolley into your back.
Worst of all, you are packing and they come right up near to you as if they cannot wait. Hovering before you have even paid. I take my time then.
Mostly at non self service checkouts granted.

At self service things generally move fairly quickly. If one person is slow, other will not be.

If someone is annoying, eg. Taking ages when you have done none of the above, they chat endlessly to the till person you just have to wait it out. Not showing you are remotely bothered will move things along more quickly.

Yes I would find it rude. Also how did the queue work. In most self service supermarkets I go to there is one queue and you then wait for whichever till becomes available.

You did well not to say anything until you did. Selfish idiots.

I agree with your family.

What you did was pretty rude and unnecessary. In every big supermarket I have been in there are an array of self-service or scan (and pack) as you shop checkouts all served by a single queue. You just move to the next available one when your turn comes. Absolutely no need at all to hassle anyone who is slower, there will be other terminals available. It's hard to believe that is not the case so make what excuses you want. Your behaviour was poor.

I am stuggling to envisage the set up. All of the self service checkouts I have used have multiple tills and one queue, so no one specific person is in front of you unless only one till was open (which would be unusual any time, let alone in a peak shopping period). So I am struggling to understand why one you felt you needed to almost admonish one person.

Some people are faffers, however there are many who can’t sort things out as quickly as you would have liked due to health issues (be it physical or cognitive), plus age or managing children or a baby. Not everyone even meets the minimum spend for a supermarket delivery or wants one or needs or wants to ask for help at a checkout as they can manage perfectly fine at their own pace.

A supermarket selling essential items is not just for the quick able bodied and your need to get through a check out quickly doesn’t trump anyone else. You should have waited for one of the other tills to become free and not said anything as it wasn’t your place to do so. If you needed to say anything, you could have offered to help and stepped back graciously if your offer was turned down.

Try to be better organised next time so you are not in a rush, or shop at a quieter time.

I’d say you’re unreasonable because they also waited in the same queue you did, so should be able to do what they need to at the till given they also waited a long time. If they’re not doing anything for the staff to reprimand them
over, then there’s no need for you to be reprimanding them either.

i also don’t understand why you were watching them so intensely as well, I genuinely can’t remember a time where I watched anyone else scan their items, bag them and pay nor could I recollect the order they did that in. It seems you were being pushy and impatient and were pressuring them. Whereas I couldn’t care less what anyone else was doing, it’s a total non issue. Waiting ages in a queue mid day on a Halloween Saturday is hardly unusual, you should have gone at a quieter time.

Found the slow person in the queue 🙄 Like everyone should wait for you and your schedule.

Nah, not rude. Some people enjoy being deliberately slow in situations like that and do it because they can. They would probably have no problems barking at you if the roles werre reversed so dont worry about what some random at the store might think.

Self checkout or till- she was allowed to arrange her bags. It’s annoying but your time schedule isn’t her problem. Not necessarily rude but I would have told you that I am still using the till. I make allowances for older people or those with kids. I despise self-checkouts ☠️

I’m disabled, there’s multiple reasons why I might pack slowly, I try as far as possible to order groceries online and to use self service checkouts if I have to use supermarket but sometimes they’re too small for more than a few items.
i am slow and clumsy and if I know that people are getting impatient or feel I’m holding someone up , I am likely to become more shaky and clumsy and it might look like I’m faffing, it’s really stressful, I try and get people to go in front of me where I can to save awkward encounters

Yes……and it’s almost as though they know people are waiting to check out but deliberately take their f***g time! 😡🤷‍♀️

Most self service checkouts mean you have one queue and you go to the next one available? Where are you shopping that you have to pick one and stand in a long queue to get to it?

I'd say yes you were rude, and traipsing your whole family round the supermarket on a busy Saturday is annoying as well!

this is why I use the self-scan gadgets,

(well this & the fact that it tells me how much I’ve spent, & self scan section @ s’markets i use is usually empty when I do my shop)

you weren’t being rude.

This is a great example of why a little kindness goes a long way.

If it was a self checkout and this person was constantly rearranging already scanned stuff as they went, did the checkout not keep beeping at them about unexpected items and need to be reset? Because if I even breathe on the carrier bag I am packing into I set it off which is why I don't usually use the self checkouts.

This thread, and this post in particular, has made me decide to pack every item away in absolute perfection, and very slowly. Only then will i rummage around in my bag for my card, then change my mind just before I tap, amd go looking for my purse to pay cash instead. In coins. You people deserve it.

I think this is extremely rude and would 100 percent slow down and make you wait if you said that to me! How embarrassing for your family, who all think your rude but you need validation from strangers instead of your loved ones which blows my mind!
I couldn’t care less what strangers say but if my children or family told me something I would 100 percent listen.

To be honest, YABU. There are more than one self checkouts so you're not specifically waiting for THAT one to be free, just go to the next available one.

I'm sorry for your experience, but I would have interpreted what you said as being rude. I already resent having to do self service check-out and it's already stressing enough doing it and getting beeped and all that that entails. I resent the supermarkets making us do it. So if packing my bags in a way that will make it easier for me to carry them or unpack them is stressing you out, blame it on the supermarket, not the shopper. Would you have said that if the woman in front of you were doing that at a regular check out? The people manning them don't tell you to hurry up if you're busy packing and haven't finished paying yet. So yes, I think you were rude. But I blame the supermarkets for saving money by putting in stupid self-check outs to make us all stressed.

This is precisely why I do an online shop. I can’t deal with people faffing around in a supermarket!

Use the self service instead. I find it much quicker

It was inconsiderate and thoughtless.

assuming they are not elderly, got learning difficulties etc