Am I rude?

[air3296]

I had a slightly awkward experience at the supermarket today and would genuinely like to hear what people in the UK think.
It was around lunchtime on a Saturday, and the supermarket was really busy, with quite a long queue for the self-checkouts.
The person in front of me had a fairly large shop. As they scanned their items, they took their time packing everything into bags, repeatedly hesitating and changing their mind about which items should go where.
I didn’t really mind that, as everyone has their own pace.
However, after scanning all their items, they still didn’t pay. Instead, they continued taking their time rearranging everything in their bags, while occupying the checkout and holding up the queue.
At that point, I said: “Could you please pay first? We’re in a rush.”
I wasn’t asking them to stop packing altogether. I just thought they could pay first and then move aside to finish packing, so the next person could use the checkout.
Now I’m wondering whether what I said was considered rude or impolite by British standards.
What’s the general etiquette at self-checkouts in the UK, especially when the supermarket is really busy? Was I being unreasonable, or was my request perfectly fair?
I’d genuinely appreciate honest opinions, even if you think I was in the wrong.

I move slowly due to a disability. I'm neither thoughtless, entitled nor lacking empathy - I do realise that me and my walking aid get in people 's way. Should I just stay at home so I don't inconvenience others?

Some people would perhaps prefer that, but disabled people have as much right to go out to the shops, just like anybody else. I don't see why I should not go out, and choose my own groceries, but have them delivered, to spare people my lack of speed, at the checkout.

Do you really believe that? That someone is slow at the checkout in order to feel powerful? That’s a really warped way of thinking!!!

Sadly there are people out there who have this kind of peculiar world view. Must be a very depressing way to live

To be fair I think most of us feel like that 😂

YABU I know you might only be able to go on a saturday, but I'd choose a quieter day or do click and collect instead if it really bothers you. I agree with the getting annoyed with the faffing after they paid though, surely just get them in the bags and rearrange elsewhere. These days I've been ordering through Uber app and get them delivered so I haven't had to stand at checkouts for a while.

No, you don't do that. You learn to seethe quietly in the queue and hope they get a move on.

I've been thinking about this very thing recently. As someone very conscious of holding people up in the supermarket queue, I've actually decided that I'm not going to stress myself out by rushing and panicking anymore. I'm going to just go at a civilised pace and am not going to be rushed by supermarkets anymore - unless it's Xmas, of course . This is because I've noticed that so many shoppers don't seem to rush at the tills, and I've decided to try doing the same instead of feeling anxious about it.

Same and this would have pissed me off too @air3296

Thick rude thoughtless twats shop too, sadly. I can't bear bloody shopping of any sort but this sort of thing at the checkout is the cherry on the cake but I always feel glad I don't have to live with them and smile to myself whilst thinking this to pass the time of mine that they are taking.

Don't think you were particularly rude. If I was behind you I would have been thinking the same and also pleased you said something (and at the same time thinking that I wouldn't have had the balls).

But its just another example of how people now have no idea (or don't care) at all about what is happening around them. Most people live in a bubble.

Surely you wouldn’t have been able to use the checkout anyway until they picked their shopping up so I don’t really think it makes much difference whether they pay or rearrange their bags first. I agree it’s frustrating when stuck behind someone slow, but I also think that the person using the checkout should be able to pack up their shopping properly before needing to rush off and very few supermarkets have anywhere to do this other than the checkout.

I appreciate people have physical or psychological disabilities that may or may not be visible. i think in the situation described by OP where the person could have paid and moved to one side to continue packing at the their own pace to avoid holding others up has a choice. I am disabaled with arthritis in my hands and would be slow in the situation described here, i would choose to pay and move to one side so as not to affect others anymore than is necessary . it is possible to ask for assistance if disability means you struggle at check out,ive found this helfpul.

This. They were rude and even ruder going slower when you asked them to hurry up. Obviously an arse.

Was there only one self checkout surely lots of others had finished and gone so you go to the next available one.

Supermarkets deliver

The worst ones are the ones who load their large shop onto the moving belt. Dont start packing it all until every item has been scanned. Then dont pay until they have meticulously placed every item very neatly in their bags. They are a bloody pain in the arse and piss off the peole in the long queue behind them. Im sure they do it deliberately🤨

Nope. Not rude IMO, although it does depend on the tone of voice so I'm going to assume you said it in a polite manner.

Some people are so entitled and inconsiderate!

He was a perfectly able-bodied middle-aged man with no mobility issues whatsoever. He was even chatting away with the person next to him while unpacking his things

Its interesting how much patience we have lost (me included) and we just expect things instantly and struggle to wait

A bit. I agree that it was an annoying and unnecessary situation but it’s still a bit rude to make a comment.

Not rude I hate supermarket dawdlers, I do scan and go and like to be in and out as quick as possible. Some people just have no awareness to their surroundings and just plod along like a snail. It pisses me off.

Yes, you're right, not all disability is visible and not all is physical.

Some people are struggling mentally with going through the steps they need to take in order to complete a task. Sometimes having someone interrupt means they mentally need to start all over again.

Assuming the person described could have 'just'paid and moved out of the way is making a lot of assumptions about why they were slow. You are slow for purely physical reasons. They might not be - some people, myself included, have cognitive difficulties.

Asking for help and then trying to articulate what they need might be simply adding in another step that feels just too hard. Its really difficult when you have cognitive dysfunction and trying to explain what you need just feels like yet another hill to climb.

This thread is depressingly ableist.

I would go so slow if someone told me to hurry up. Just like if you drive up my arse then we will be going 20.

I would scan my shopping and then pack as I have experienced the self scanner telling me something is on the scanning belt when I’ve placed my bags and it beeps and someone has to come and authorise it.

i would move as fast as I could so if someone had told me to Hurry up then I would have thought they were rude and I would have gone a bit slower.

same as if someone is driving right up my arse, I’m going to stick right on the speed limit to make them pull back.

have a bit of patience and don’t go shopping when you are in a rush.

90% of threads on mumsnet are and equally make no sense like why is there only one self checkout in a supermarket that everyone is waiting for

The reason I posted this is that my family and I have been debating this ever since we got home. They think I should go by the majority opinion to decide whether what I did today was unreasonable or not.