Am I rude?

[air3296]

I had a slightly awkward experience at the supermarket today and would genuinely like to hear what people in the UK think.
It was around lunchtime on a Saturday, and the supermarket was really busy, with quite a long queue for the self-checkouts.
The person in front of me had a fairly large shop. As they scanned their items, they took their time packing everything into bags, repeatedly hesitating and changing their mind about which items should go where.
I didn’t really mind that, as everyone has their own pace.
However, after scanning all their items, they still didn’t pay. Instead, they continued taking their time rearranging everything in their bags, while occupying the checkout and holding up the queue.
At that point, I said: “Could you please pay first? We’re in a rush.”
I wasn’t asking them to stop packing altogether. I just thought they could pay first and then move aside to finish packing, so the next person could use the checkout.
Now I’m wondering whether what I said was considered rude or impolite by British standards.
What’s the general etiquette at self-checkouts in the UK, especially when the supermarket is really busy? Was I being unreasonable, or was my request perfectly fair?
I’d genuinely appreciate honest opinions, even if you think I was in the wrong.

Your family think you were very rude.

And some people like to choose their fresh items themselves, and check the quality and use by dates. I have a weekly delivery from Ocado, who are generally good for dates, but I always prefer to choose my own meat and other fresh foods when I csn to make sure I get the longest use by dates and the nicest looking meat.

But surely what anyone who happened to be with the OP thought doesn’t affect what any of us think?

Well if the OP’s own family, who were actually there and spectated the entire exchange, think their family member was rude - then I’d say it would rather influence my view

I would have asked a shop assistant to nudge them but I wouldn’t have asked them myself, as there … they confronted you and were a*holes … people these days are generally very unpleasant I try not to engage.

It’s really hard to say, OP. It does depend somewhat on who you were talking to and your tone of voice. I’m assuming it wasn’t an elderly person. Although I don’t think you were particularly rude and other customer was likely very inconsiderate.

I suspect the problem was the “we’re in a rush”. I think that could be interpreted as “my time is more important than yours” so therefore a criticism or attack. I appreciate you probably meant something more like “there’s a lot of people waiting so it would be considerate if you could pay so somebody else can use the till”.

Next time, I would say “sorry, would you mind paying so that the next person in the queue can use the checkout.” This changes the emphasis from critiicism
to practical problem solving. Also, all British people use “sorry” continuously when interacting with random strangers!

Yes.

So you think its ok to ask a teenage shop assistant to get a gob full instead if you feel the need to say something you say it. Or better yet be patient and wait your turn

No you’re not. They were rude and inconsiderate, and the fact they slowed down despite your protest was exceptionally rude. I loathe lack of consideration for others, really winds me up.

And given they witnessed the entire exchange whereas we are only hearing your version of it….

Thank you. But next time I wouldn’t say anything as I think it is a little bit rude in British culture.

Are you British?

It’s perfectly ok to call out bad behaviour….

This is the ultimate etiquette catch 22.

They were rude for not being considerate of the long queue behind them. (And ignoring the 10 items or less sign if there was one) (Of course if they truly were going at their best pace and not invisibly disabled)

But you were rude for calling them out on their rudeness.

This is incredibly rude behaviour. How do you know if they had a learning disability, recent hand surgery…anything. Go to the shops on a quieter day and time. I would have responded by taking even longer to hold you up and smiled whilst doing so.

I would be so frustrated being behind this inconsiderate slow coach 🐌

good on you for saying something - they may be more aware of their impact on others next
time !

No. But maybe you could have said it a bit more diplomatically.

But why?

Why do you need an 'independent verdict'?

Are none of you capable of acting as autonomous adults who can make their own decisions?

Bloody hell.

I think on balance it was rude but kind of justified too. It's rude and unfair to faff about with rebagging when there is a long queue behind you too. So they were rude, and you called them out on it. although your words may have been polite it's generally rude to tell someone hurry up. I wouldn't stress to much about it I'm sure there people behind you in the queue who were glad to hear you say it cos they were thinking the same thing.

I think you mean were you rude in that instance not are you as a whole rude? You were impatient, rude would have been for gods sake get a move on.

Personally, I don’t think I was being rude. However, my family feel that since I live in the UK, I should respect and adapt to the local culture and social norms. They believe that if the majority of local people consider this behaviour rude, then I should avoid doing the same thing in similar situations in the future.
I’m posting this purely to understand how people here perceive this kind of behaviour, so it can help guide how I act in similar situations going forward. It won’t change my personal opinion about what happened today.

But it wasn't 'bad behaviour' it was someone being a little slow, for unknown reasons!

So are you not from the UK?

I'm sorry to hear that you won't take on board the multitude of reasons somebody might be slow, other than 'to deliberately piss you off'.

Don’t be so bloody ridiculous. It isn’t sad power play. They are just going about their (slower) lives, unaware that tits like you exist (hopefully)

Yes