“Let’s not bother with the small talk today”

[Jausyn]

AIBU to find the above extremely rude? Corporate company, myself and a manager the job level above from elsewhere in the department were the first two to join. I knew they’d been off with holiday and asked how their half term was going. I think that’s such a rude reply. It became clear as the call went on they were trying to catch up with emails etc from their time off, but I felt a bit silly being told that.

You asked an adult at work how their half term was going?! No wonder they told you to be quiet!

If they don’t want to share. They can just say; it was nice. Thank you. No need to be so rude and unfriendly.

Exactly. No one is looking for a huge discussion and no one is really that interested. Its just about putting people at ease and not making them feel like meat in a sausage factory.

I find it incredibly self centred that people expect to go through life without making the most rudimentary effort to make others feel comfortable.

No one really wants to make small talk. People who say they hate it seem to think it makes them different and interesting, it really doesn’t.

So what did you do?

I think I'd have just said "noted" and sat there is silence until the other attendees arrived.

There is no need for anyone to ever be so rude. You were asking how their break was, not asking if they like it rough up the arse.

Agree.

You are working most of your week; how sad some people just want to look at their screen and talk business. A bit of socialising doesn’t hurt anyone and make work nicer; you don’t have to tell everyone your whole life.

It sounds like many people just don’t agree though

Good grief, of course that's rude.

'Yes, good thanks, sorry - just trying to get a couple of things out the door' generally does the job. As does joining on mute with the camera off until the meeting starts.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I might try this as an icebreaker next time my boss is pass-ag with me.

You should've said a "Fine, thank you" would've sufficed. Or, in sarky tone, asked her if she was having a bad day.

Try not to dwell on it, some people are just vile.

Nothing worse than a boring old corporate fucker who (god forbid) can't take 2 mins to think about something other than their boring old job.

Yes it's "work time" but Jesus, whatever happened to having a little human connection every so often?? People who think their work is far too important for them to engage with their colleagues are generally extremely dull people IMO. Get a life! One day we'll all be dead and your silly little job won't matter at all!

That was really rude. It would have been simple to say "holiday was great thanks for asking. I'm sorry but do you mind if I finish this email before the meeting starts - it's been mad today"

I don’t think its even about the job, its this current mania people have for “being an introvert” and demanding their god-given right to live a life of total isolation all the time.

Its wholly unrealistic and self sabotaging to think telling people not to talk is better than a bit of autopilot chit-chat. People need to grow up.

Some people just don’t take the hint that you don’t want to chat.

I think it’s very rude.
You are waiting for others to join, meeting hasn’t and said a very common question. They should have just replied fine thanks.
I’d have their card marked as a rude awkward person.

The increase in fragile mental health in our society can only be exacerbated by lack of human connection.

Some of that is about screens and the loss of wider family and community relationships but I do think that some of it is just about people thinking that it’s ok to self exclude from social niceties.

There are very good reasons for traditional social rules around etiquette.

I wouldn't say rude, rather abrupt. Sounds as if he had no more headspace.

My thoughts exactly! 😅
I'm rarely interested in most of the small talk that happens in meetings.

By saying fine thanks, it opens up the conversation to more small talk. The OP might be someone who chats a lot at work, we just don’t know.

I would think it a bit blunt, but it wouldn’t have bothered me. I would assume they literally just want to crack on. Which I can also relate to at work.

That is pretty rude she could have said "I'm sorry I have to make this a very quick conversation today I'm absolutely swamped with workload, maybe we could catch up another time?"

Absolutely.

So give a brief polite answer and say “apologies I’m just going to finish a quick email while we wait for everyone” and turn off your camera.

Colleagues are far more likely to out of their way to help out people they like. Good manners cost nothing and can only help your career.

And of course, what YOU want has to override what anyone else wants. That's the problem with everyone thinking they are the centre of the universe.

But it’s time limited, the others would be joining and meeting start. I’d take a fine thanks not to ask further.
It would be rude where I worked. I’m glad my colleagues are more pleasant.
I’d put how’s half term going in same none offensive chat category as weather/did you have a nice weekend.

It’s like internal ‘lunch and learns’ when the presenter ask
people to put in chat what they’re having for lunch.
just get on the the ‘learning’ so I can get some of my lunch hour back !

So rude. They could have said Great holiday thanks , please excuse me a moment while I answer this message which just popped up.