To have let my boys play outside with toy swords?

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My neighbour has just had a go at me about my boys playing outside and is now threatening to report them. They were playing with plastic swords pretending to fight and apparently they were making threats to people. I honestly dont know what to make of it. sorry if the typing is a bit dodgy my phones screen is cracked and its making it hard to type properly

dc (8 7 6 4) the older 3 were playing together and the little one was running around the field doing his own thing mostly. They were on the bit of enclosed grass opposite our house where they always play. its not someones garden and its fenced off from the road

we’ve only recently moved in and she’s never seemed to like them. She’s made comments before about them being noisy and has never been particularly friendly so I do wonder if she’s already decided theyre a nuisance and is looking for reasons to complain

It’s the first dry day we’ve had in days so they’ve been desperate to get out. They’ve been stuck in the house for days and were going a bit stir crazy. They took some toy swords and a plastic shield out with them and were playing some sort of battle game. Yes they were being loud but they werent damaging anything or bothering anyone deliberately as far as I knew

There werent any other children out there. It was just my four boys so they werent playing with or threatening anyone else. They were running around together and shouting as part of their game

My neighbour came over and said she was sick of them shouting and carrying on and that she’d heard them threatening to stab people with their swords. She said it was completely unacceptable and if I couldnt control them she’d report them. She mentioned the council and the police although I couldnt really tell if she was serious or just trying to scare me

she also said I was being unreasonable allowing the little one out there as well because he’s only little (he is small for his age aswell). But he was just running around the field and wasnt doing anything to anyone. I dont see why he should have to stay indoors when theres a safe enclosed bit of grass right opposite the house

I said theyre plastic toy swords and the boys are playing not actually going around threatening people. But if I’m honest I wasnt stood next to them the whole time so I cant swear blind about every single thing they said. I can hear them from the front window and check on them but I’m not right there listening to every word of their game

She was basically saying theyre old enough to know better and that its intimidating for other people to hear children shouting threats. I do understand that if they’ve actually said something nasty to somebody then thats not on but I dont know if she’s taken something said during a game completely out of context. She’s never liked them since we moved in so I’m finding it hard not to think this is partly about that

I brought them in and asked what had happened. I told them they cant go around threatening real people even as a joke but they insist they werent doing that

theyre all inside now and I’m starting to worry that I was unfair bringing them in when they hadnt actually done anything to her. I didnt want the situation to get worse or for her to call someone but it feels wrong that theyve been punished just because she doesnt like them. They were only playing together and there werent even any other kids there

For context our back garden is tiny and fully concrete so its not really suitable for four boys to run around playing in. This bit of grass opposite is where the local kids play and mine have always used it. I’m not saying theyre angels because theyre definitely loud and can get carried away but theyre children. I dont expect them to sit quietly indoors all day when the weathers finally dry

I’m just annoyed that she’s gone straight to threatening to report them rather than having a normal conversation with me. At the same time I dont want to be the parent who refuses to accept her kids have done anything wrong if they have

AIBU to let them play out with the toy swords? And does she actually have a point if they’ve been shouting things as part of their game?

One is 4yrs old. 'Helicoptering' aka as adult supervision is actually necessary.

Just spoke to my partner who is a very productive member of society, kind, and could not be harder working.

"um, yes, doesn't everyone play He Man in the fields?" (he was raised in Yorkshire). "Doesn't every kid ride a bike up and down?" "Doesn't every kid make a tent in the field and make up games from inside it?"

"but did you harass passers-by?"

"of course not, dad would have bollocked me and would have shoved me back indoors".

So I suppose it does boil down to if they actually were harassing people, but you might never know the truth there.

Sword fighting is fine.
A 4 year old on his own is not. His older brother's are not capable of keeping him safe....I would not even let my 8 year old put on their own, let alone make them responsible for their 3 younger siblings.
Also they should be keeping the noise down.

What an intriguing post

Let them play but ALWAYS keep an eye on them (even from a distance) because she or anyone could say do anything in seconds and you need to be there to protect them.

Get them back out there as soon as you can because bringing them in will make her think she can tell you what you need to do with your own dc.

Good grief! Some of the comments on here…
they are children, playing outside in the afternoon.
I think it’s great that are playing outside, far better than being stuck inside on a screen.
it sounds like you were keeping an eye on them so I would just let her complain.
what will anyone do about boys playing

Don’t you have your own opinion? Why do you think your partner’s view is more relevant than yours?

Omg, it’s a miracle so many of us survived the 60s! You’d have been appalled…

A 4 year old playing outside unsupervised is “great parenting”?

I think at those ages you should be out there with them. Then you could fight the battle axe with one of the swords.

There were no Amazon delivery vans zooming around in the 60's for a start.

Heaven forbid children play imaginative games in a public bit of green space. I understand disliking noise when it's crap music from next door neighbour playing loudly in the garden, or obnoxious dirt bikes grinding up the area (my local pta) but the sound of children playing being a nuisance to some boggles my brain. There must be a word for the forgetfulness of some adults that they were too once children.

Don't worry op, maybe supervise more closely for a bit (I'd probably not let me 4 year old play away from the boundaries of the house with just other children to closely supervise) but ignore misery guts neighbour. Let her threaten with police and social services, they'd soon see they're wasting their time and if she keeps being a nuisance keep a log. Her saying they were threatening people smacks of trying to find any reason to stop play, but as you've seen in future if you were there you'd be able to directly rebut her.

If people WFH in a residential area, they have to accept residential noise including children playing outside during half term. There are pros and cons to working from home. It is the price you have to pay for not having a commute.

She is an interfering old B....y. Take no notice at all. Children play, scream, shout. They were doing no harm. If she doesn't like children being children and playing, even loud, then she should move. The green is there for children to play on. The 4 yo is learning and was in no danger.

Not read all the replies OP but think you are getting a hard time from some unnecessarily.

This reply sums up my thoughts. Let kids be kids, especially while they are young. The neighbours sounds controlling so best to keep and eye so you can nip it in the bud.

No there were horses pulling carts with no brakes, and the person with them had no reins on the animals. This was in London.

Well they may not be as anxious. But my children are alive and well, and one person's anxiousness is another person's sense of responsibility.

A bit of freedom doesn't involve a road and a four year old for me. I have every confidence they will grow to become adults who can cross roads - just as I can and I was never left playing beside a road unsupervised at age 4.

I think this. I actually enjoy the sound of children playing.

I once lived in a Paris apartment where we could hear the children in a school below coming out at playtime and it was one of my favourite times of the day.

The 4 yo is learning and was in no danger.

I would respectfully dispute that the 4 year old was not in danger. And to all those posters saying the mum was satisfactorily supervising (through a window, across a road). What if he (or his brothers for that matter) decided they needed the toilet, or had a falling out, or wanted a drink, or the 8 year old fell over and injured themselves and one of the others ran out across the road to get help. Their mother could be "supervising" and "watching them" as a delivery driver ran them over. Great parenting. Until it isn't.

A small for his age four year old and three older boys running around with toy swords?

Times haven’t changed for me. Thirty years ago I wouldn’t have thought this was ideal, putting it mildly. But then, my dc didn’t have toy weapons so there’s that.

Oh stop it😂. The fact that you've had to add lies to your post for dramatic effect is just laughable. "Left beside the road" ffs.

I don't think you or your DC have done anything wrong. Your neighbour is sensitive and overreacting. I'd ignore her threats and let her see what happens (nothing!) if she ever does "report" them. And I'm a 77 year old who does like noise especially.

Mm, four boys running around yelling playing what would likely sound like a pretty aggressive battle game..

YABU - take them out, supervise them - then no one can make over exaggerated complaints because you were there, you know exactly what was happening.

I do think such play is either on your own property, or supervised by you - so unless you happen to own multiple acres of woodland or live in the back of beyond with no neighbours, this sort of play is inappropriate.

Whilst it might not be prohibited by laws, if you live in close proximity to others you need to teach your kids to behave appropriately to the environment they are in. Just as everyone else should conduct themselves appropriately - it isn't against the law for me to play music loudly in my garden every day - I do not do so as it would be unpleasant for everyone but me!

I grew up lucky enough to spend a lot of time unsupervised running about in the woods and fields making a racket... AND also playing reasonably quietly in small sub-urban and village gardens. It is possible to teach kids that one kind of play is fine in one place, and not in another - you have to be there to teach it though, and you were not - thats where you went wrong really!

Carry on letting your active children play outside.
Wave and smile at grumpy lady and ignore.
Children have a right active play.

They were beside a road. As I understand it, the op's house was opposite, on the other side of a road. The fenced off area they played was beside a road. Where is the lie in that? Apologies if I have misunderstood the set-up, but I think that was it.

I am on the OP's side over this thread. I think the woman was being intolerant and overstepping by getting involved or complaining, BUT I personally would not want a four year old playing across a road. If they get upset and come running, they will just run out to come to you and being able to see them doing that isn't much good if there is a car coming. You just get to see them being run over, which doesn't strike me as a bonus. I am not sure why you are taking such issue with this point - or indeed with me when plenty have said they feel the same way.

You may parent differently, but I think it s a perfectly reasonable precaution to raise with the OP since the topic of her children playing across there is being discussed.

I would let a four year old play alone in our garden attached to the house with no road in between. It's about age appropriate steps and adjustments.