To have let my boys play outside with toy swords?

[cm100298]

My neighbour has just had a go at me about my boys playing outside and is now threatening to report them. They were playing with plastic swords pretending to fight and apparently they were making threats to people. I honestly dont know what to make of it. sorry if the typing is a bit dodgy my phones screen is cracked and its making it hard to type properly

dc (8 7 6 4) the older 3 were playing together and the little one was running around the field doing his own thing mostly. They were on the bit of enclosed grass opposite our house where they always play. its not someones garden and its fenced off from the road

we’ve only recently moved in and she’s never seemed to like them. She’s made comments before about them being noisy and has never been particularly friendly so I do wonder if she’s already decided theyre a nuisance and is looking for reasons to complain

It’s the first dry day we’ve had in days so they’ve been desperate to get out. They’ve been stuck in the house for days and were going a bit stir crazy. They took some toy swords and a plastic shield out with them and were playing some sort of battle game. Yes they were being loud but they werent damaging anything or bothering anyone deliberately as far as I knew

There werent any other children out there. It was just my four boys so they werent playing with or threatening anyone else. They were running around together and shouting as part of their game

My neighbour came over and said she was sick of them shouting and carrying on and that she’d heard them threatening to stab people with their swords. She said it was completely unacceptable and if I couldnt control them she’d report them. She mentioned the council and the police although I couldnt really tell if she was serious or just trying to scare me

she also said I was being unreasonable allowing the little one out there as well because he’s only little (he is small for his age aswell). But he was just running around the field and wasnt doing anything to anyone. I dont see why he should have to stay indoors when theres a safe enclosed bit of grass right opposite the house

I said theyre plastic toy swords and the boys are playing not actually going around threatening people. But if I’m honest I wasnt stood next to them the whole time so I cant swear blind about every single thing they said. I can hear them from the front window and check on them but I’m not right there listening to every word of their game

She was basically saying theyre old enough to know better and that its intimidating for other people to hear children shouting threats. I do understand that if they’ve actually said something nasty to somebody then thats not on but I dont know if she’s taken something said during a game completely out of context. She’s never liked them since we moved in so I’m finding it hard not to think this is partly about that

I brought them in and asked what had happened. I told them they cant go around threatening real people even as a joke but they insist they werent doing that

theyre all inside now and I’m starting to worry that I was unfair bringing them in when they hadnt actually done anything to her. I didnt want the situation to get worse or for her to call someone but it feels wrong that theyve been punished just because she doesnt like them. They were only playing together and there werent even any other kids there

For context our back garden is tiny and fully concrete so its not really suitable for four boys to run around playing in. This bit of grass opposite is where the local kids play and mine have always used it. I’m not saying theyre angels because theyre definitely loud and can get carried away but theyre children. I dont expect them to sit quietly indoors all day when the weathers finally dry

I’m just annoyed that she’s gone straight to threatening to report them rather than having a normal conversation with me. At the same time I dont want to be the parent who refuses to accept her kids have done anything wrong if they have

AIBU to let them play out with the toy swords? And does she actually have a point if they’ve been shouting things as part of their game?

Definitely. Silly woman.

Through a window, across a road.

I've no issue with children playing outside in the middle of the day.

But you're far too cavalier with the little ones. A 4 year old shouldn't be out unsupervised. And your older ones shouldn't be responsible for keeping a 4 year old safe. I'd be really concerned if I saw this.

Protect yourself and your children . Speak with the police and tell them she is harassing you and your children .
She is obviously annoyed by having children living next to her and the noise it comes from it but threatening to say things that are untrue is an issue

Look it’s not that I don’t agree with what you say in part but millions off people live in apartments with more kids . Do you really think that is neglectful?

Threatening games? With plastic swords? Do you have children? Have ever met any children? 🙄

I used to play with plastic swords and shields when I was a kid, no one ever felt threatened by 8 year old me shouting "I am She-Ra!" And waving my sword in the air! 🤨

This is sensible advice IMO. (And for the record, it sounds fine for your youngest to be out there with you keeping an eye out given the set-up.)

@OutAndAbouting

I think it's quite a stretch to say that this was a threatening game.

Play-fighting with toy weapons is a normal part of child's play. It's quite possible that if the children were shouting threats, it was only at one another - as part of their imaginative play - which wouldn't be perceived as threatening by most people.

If they did make silly threats to other people, then that's not acceptable, but given their young age, most people would not regard it as genuinely threatening behaviour.

She is being unreasonable threatening to report your boys as intimidating but I do think you need to be out there- I live in a similar safe area and my youngest is nearly 4, no way would I leave her out there with my 8 year old. They are absolutely fine to play on that communal area but the younger 2 are too young to be out there without an adult.

Thus is a her problem. People don’t like “gangs” of boys. Let them live and enjoy themselves. Trust them.

This happened to me approx 20 years ago 😂. Moved to a new house 3 boys (similar age to your eldest 3) and a neighbour did actually call the police 🤦🏼‍♀️. No idea why. Boys told me they had only walked down the road. The police came to my house (boys were home) asked where the boys were and then told me to be wary of a particular house!

Have people forgotten that children play "let's pretend" games?

They were probably pretending to be pirates or Robin Hood or something like that. Your neighbor sounds absurd.

We have grassy areas near us and I'd be surprised to see a 4yr old without an adult playing with other young kids.

You say you were watching but obviously you'll have been distracted.

It's inconvenient but you need be with them at that age. If she does report to pcso you may well get a welfare check. Unsupervised very young dc tend to be acted on.

You let your 4 year old out unsupervised - so with that in mind everything else you've said I'll have to take with a pinch of salt. No responsible parent would do such a thing so I would suggest you start actually parenting.

Jesus Christ. Reported.

FWIW, I played out on a nearby green area throughout my very middle class childhood, including games with toy weapons and all sorts, and thankfully have gone on to a professional career and pay a shitload of tax.

I remember the Daily Heil frothing about a three year old who played at being a highwayman on his tricycle, saying “your money or your life”, menacing a village.

And you’re behind the times giving them swords, you should have given them cannon.

”Swords?! What do you think this is, the Middle Ages? Only girls fight with swords these days!”

Kids playing out in daylight. Wielding plastic toys. Shock horror quick phone the fun police!!

There are a lot of judgy people on here. Personally I love seeing kids playing outside and making up games, it’s all too infrequent these days. Much better than spending their lives on screens. Keep up the great parenting OP.

You should be supervising them.

I have a 5 and 2 year old ds. No way would I let the eldest play outdoors unsupervised.

Eldest is quite boisterous so I don’t allow him to play with any swords/nerf guns.

I wouldn't have thought that the game could be reported (but she could probably report an unsupervised four-year-old). If it's the game she's reporting, I don't think it will go anywhere.

What the hell is wrong with some of the posters here? Children should be able to shout when they’re playing outside. All this forensic examination of how long they were outside, whether they were supervised and some people pretty much suggesting that they should have been out playing during storm Boelo🤣 Honestly, you couldn’t make it up. All completely irrelevant. Your neighbour sounds insane. If she calls the police, they’ll think she’s barking at the moon. Ignore her. Silly woman.

4 years olds should have an adult present and no, watching from a house window doesn't count. Either in the back garden or present in the actual field. It's basic safeguarding.

The noise is no doubt annoying for neighbours but normal with kids playing so thr plastic swords are a bit of a red herring.

You really do need to go out and supervise especially since one is only 4

She sounds miserable but probably right about the 4 year old being too young to play out unsupervised.

Thankfully not all parents are as anxious as you and allow their children some little bits of freedom without helicoptering around them all the time. OP could see them at all times.

I’d assume you were a nursery worker and taking the children out for a day trip. I’d wonder where the other member of staff was