Does anyone think they DONT have ADHD?

[Frenchtoastie]

I keep seeing posts on instagram with various reasons why someone has ADHD and then hundreds of comments below reporting these people also have all of these symptoms.
Just wondering if anyone reads these and doesn’t relate to them? To me they are just part of being human, but maybe I am completely wrong and I have ADHD🤣

the posts generally include statement along these lines…

• I find it hard to get going or impossible to stop
• I can put off a tiny task for weeks but worry about it for hours but when I finally complete it it takes 5 minutes
• I can distracted and start cleaning after the shower and suddenly I’ve cleaned the whole house whilst wearing my towel
• Having a chair covered in clothes
• having multiple drinks on the go in the house
• needing a calender because if not I would forget appointments

But this is the story of a NT person, right? You got all of your work done when you were a kid, you get your tax return in, and you're even able to improve on procrastination. I think nowadays some people would look at a checklist and try to characterise it as adhd despite nothing bad having happened though. In contrast, I rarely completed a homework at school. I often didn't realise they'd been set, and I didn't know how everyone else did. I go past deadlines without even realising they exist unfortunately and have experienced the penalties that come with that, and wish I could do better. I mostly got As and then firsts and then distinctions and onward, but I'm not unintelligent. It's just that adhd can be a real problem that goes way beyond being a bit disorganised.

I do not have ADHD. My adopted children do along with autism. It affects every part of their lives.
Messy chairs and needing a calender is nowhere near the reality of how we live and minimises real life long difficulties.

Yes, most of us do those things and none of them are diagnostic criteria. I agree with what you're saying. Having said that however, the ADHD adults in my life do them to a whole other level that can't be conveyed by a simple list. It's not clothes on a chair. It's more like the wardrobe exploded.

This is literally me. I am not aware I have ADHD though, or OCD. It just sounds like a typical busy, slightly scatty, possibly over-worked woman who is a bit of a fusspot and a bit of a worrier! I think loads of women (and possibly some men) could relate to pretty much all of those 'symptoms...'

Doesn't everyone use a calendar? How are you going to remember all your appointments and everyone's birthdays, and various important dates? I'm not The Memory Man! And everyone I know has clothes draped over a chair in the bedroom. And as I say, all of the other symptoms you named @Frenchtoastie most people will be likely to experience too.

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I don’t have adhd. I live with someone who does and we are completely different people. Amongst friends and acquaintances I would say there are at least 5 with undiagnosed ADHD. Once you know and see the signs, you see it everywhere. Anxiety, in particular. And there’s so many co-morbidities too. So many people have adhd and ASD and don’t even know it.

I do not havd ADHD but I have almost all the 'symptoms' that are presented on social media. Cause that is how most people do things, adhd or no. One thing Iearned from instagram was that it is a sign of adhd if you work your timings backwards. As in if you have to be somewhere at noon, you figure out how long it takes to get there, how long it takes you to get ready and then what time to wake up. Like, that is not how everyone determines when to wake up?

I was on a work related video call the other day (8 of us in total) none of whom had met each other before, except the two women who were hosting it.

The point of the call was to talk about challenges we are coming across in our role.

I was talking about one of mine which was in relation to be me knowing that I push myself too far to want to do the best for my clients and not wanting to let people down etc and one of the hosts said to me out of nowhere, “Are you neurodivergent?”

I said no, not to my knowledge.

She advised that I seek out a professional opinion as she was sensing I had some kind of “spectrum vibes” about me.

We hadn’t eve met before and we’d only been talking for less than 10 minutes yet she’d already diagnosed me (in her mind) as being on the spectrum.

I thought wanting to provide the best possible care for clients when providing a service is a pretty normal personality trait/aspect of being a professional….but apparently it now means you’re neurodivergent.

It was really odd.

same.

im a bit concerned about diagnostic overshadowing.

I do struggle and always have but I’ve learned so many strategies over the years I feel like it’s made me more capable than my friends who are now struggling and getting the dx. It may have helped that I teach send children so have absorbed a lot of information that I’ve applied to myself organisation wise. (Ironically from my very organised TAs 🤣)

I am also definitely HSP with the HSS side of things. And whilst that personality trait is also my strength, that has come at a cost alongside chronic health issues.

I love Sarah cawood, a recent new find online. She was put into medical menopause with AIs due to breast cancer. She was so forgetful she ended up with an adhd dx.

but …

is that adhd? Or is that medical menopause? Which I’ve also gone through. Tamoxifen to me is adhd in a can.

I want to listen to her “I’ve got adhd no you’ve not” podcast episode. Because I really do think we are pathologising normal.

I think there is too much choice in life now. Too much of everything. Some people can see through it all and others are totally overwhelmed.

Everyone has the capacity to be addicted to things.

adhd meds work for some people WITHOUT adhd and people who are diagnosed with it, (they do for a relative - if I’m honest I feel they work better for ADD) but also for many people they are really awful. (Sarah Cawood says this.)

I also have life long hypothyroidism and have recently discovered that I do need to take extra b12 and folate. I’m also hypermobile. All this if not controlled affects my ability to function cognitively.

i have learned many lessons thanks to NOT having an adhd diagnosis. For example, resistance training REALLY helps me. My cognition is a lot better since building muscle has vastly improved. As has my menopausal symptoms.

I am NOT good at resting. A menopause consultant I saw surmised this was the main thing that could help me. My personality is naturally high sensation seeking. But the HSP side of me regularly wants to hide away.

My concern about diagnostic overshadowing is that there could be biological reasons for struggling that we may miss.

my other concern is that if everyone gets adhd dx and goes on meds it raises the bar for what humans can or can’t achieve at work. So we all have to end up improving ourselves. But some can’t take the meds. And maybe work conditions are now far too ridiculous?

The tech in schools is now causing far more stress, issues, workload than it set out to solve in my experience. The idea that we all had to create endless teaching slides came in about a decade ago and has increased workload. I’m completely over it and would like to go back to a trusty OHP and dry wipe board.

I have diagnosed ADHD – did a full day of psychological tests, plus a psychiatrist evaluated my life history as reported by me, my mother, and my then-boyfriend, now-husband. One of the key aspects for an ADHD diagnosis is that your symptoms have to severely affect your life and your executive functioning. The symptoms in your post are certainly compatible with an ADHD diagnosis, but they’re nowhere near uncommon in people without ADHD.

I think ADHD in women is “having a moment” because for decades, girls were underdiagnosed while boys were arguably overdiagnosed.

If one of the two of you was giving "vibes" it wasn't you!

That's my strategy too. For an early meeting a fair distance away I would even go the night before to avoid any possibility of being late.

I see people who look obviously ADHD everywhere. Over diagnosed, I doubt. Too many allowances being made for poor behaviour in people with a mild version. Yes I think that's a growing problem.

I agree with you, but even without a diagnosis i am sure I have ADHD. My childhood was difficult because of it. And I hated school as a consequence. Over time i have found my balance but still have some struggles.

I dont need a diagnosis, I have learnt who I am and deal with it.

Can it be done if you don’t have external people /family to describe you and take part?

Those points are a superficial representation of items which can impact people’s lives. Being unable to stop a particular task and sitting for a thirteen hour day and just eating biscuits then feeling odd and moving back into the real world. Having important things you should have done for life admin and worrying about them every day for years. Knowing you can’t do a certain thing and trying to plan ahead so you will do it - but still being unable to do it. Complete time blindness and thinking of a friend regularly and when you get in touch after a long gap your perceptions of the friendship status are completely different. Tackling lots of tasks but never finishing any so they weigh heavily and create chaos and you think about all of them all the time and feel upset. All or nothing - extreme sorting followed by burnout then nothing is done - in cycles. Forgetting appointments however many times you note them because hyperfocus means you are not aware of anything else. Feeling upset at injustice e.g. the rich middle classes appropriating these conditions to get extra support and money cos they know how to play the system - this is just a real one I’m mentioning!

I’ve lost track of how many have said this to me. it’s almost like an accusation. I find it offensive as I teach children with learning disabilities.

I swear a work colleague is desperate for me to be diagnosed so that it makes her diagnosis more valid.

yes I leave cupboard doors open. But I go back and close them. I start things and don’t finish them but part of that is the creative process - the clown and the editor theory. I’m a lateral, creative very deep thinker.

I couldn’t believe how much this describes me. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-highly-sensitive-person/202307/highly-sensitive-and-high-sensation-seeking-individuals

I have an adult daughter with ADHD, the difference between the way I live and she does points out quite clearly that I don’t have it. DH on the other hand…

I have some ADHD traits ( or symptoms) but I am dyslexic and some of the traits / difficulties cross over.. time keeping, organisational skills etc... I am so fed up with people saying or hinting I have ADHD or ASD is I mention I'm a bit socially awkward. Yea I have some difficulties in this spectrum but I dont identify with all the main features... But I do completely fit the profile of dyslexic.... But that's just not recognised as much now. I worry that lots of people are identifiing with ASD or adha when they are dyslexic or dyspraxic. Although I don't know if make any difference really. Flip side asd and ADHD are a disability ( for work reasonable adjustments) while dyslexia is 'just' a learning difference.

Absolutely. DP has several family members who have been diagnosed with ADHD, including our eldest son. DP isn’t diagnosed, but he is a walking, talking advertisement for inattentive type ADHD. His life is a complete mess. He would love to be able to function ‘normally’, but he simply can’t. And it has led to chronic depression and low self esteem. It’s like asking someone whose leg has been amputated to just grow it back.

I get so frustrated by the social media posts. They focus on the outward ‘quirky’ signs of ADHD - the mess, the unfinished tasks, the interrupting, the ‘hilarious’ encroaching on other people’s space etc - but give no indication of the inner life of that person, their brain completely out of sync with the world. Slower processing when it needs to be fast, faster processing when it needs to slow down. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. It is so incredibly complex. There’s no other condition in the world where so many people think they are the world’s leading expert and yet are so ignorant and very far off the mark. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

surely everyone works times backwards when they have to get somewhere ?

I dont have adhd, im just lazy and excellent at procrastination.
And its interesting that it seems to be middle aged women who are the new target market.

For me the idea of a diagnosis makes me worse.

Due to Nocebo effect.

I find this interesting:

ConclusionsWe show that being exposed to ADHD awareness reliably increases false self-diagnosis among healthy young adults for at least one week; a brief nocebo education intervention is efficacious in substantially reducing and later eliminating it. Nocebo education is a promising adjunct for balanced awareness efforts that could be applied in various contexts.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC13054899/

I don't have ADHD.

I am autistic though and have multiple ADHD traits, I have doom piles not a chair, but when given the form for referral, less than 60% were applicable.

I am time blind. Procrastinate so much that I end up staying up all night to do something that I have put off to the 11th hour. University included and still an overacheiver. I use alarms set every 30 minutes when completing a task - Alexa is very useful, alarms to shower, eat and drink, must put appointments etc straight into calendar and set multiple alarms for that date immediately or they won't go in at all. I also struggle with routine and I can be overly empathetic in conflict with typical MNs autism, but have huge issues with food including textures and with clothing and touching something that doesn't feel like I expect it should causes shutdown and my communication is often considered rude, usually when it is logical. Never use being autistic as a excuse for being flaky or blunt. Sister also autistic but not time blind or 11th hour procrastinator.

Follow the money:

How ADHD became a multimillion-pound industry for private equity

https://www.thetimes.com/article/adf3550a-285a-4504-989b-fa27373f46bf?shareToken=b77c860d423500188233b1140c4eaf2e

I don’t know. I was diagnosed in the US, too, so I don’t know what NHS doctors want to know before they make a diagnosis. The psychiatrist who diagnosed me had a lot of questions about what my experiences in school and as a child were like, because if someone didn’t have symptoms or impaired executive function until later in life, it’s probably something other than ADHD.

Higher-functioning women with ADHD tend to be the people whose teachers said they were “bright, but doesn’t apply herself.”

Totally agree with the functional impact point. I used to think I might have ADHD, if I do it's incredibly mild and does not cause me massive functional issues and therefore I don't have ADHD.

It took becoming friends with someone diagnosed with ADHD to really understand how serious it is. She's an accomplished person but my god her daily struggle with how her mind works is unreal.

My friend doesn't claim PIP but I think she should. the amount of items she has to replace through losing them and fines she has to pay due to being late on payments etc. It's clear that she just cannot get more organised, it's just not the way her brain works. Being organised for her would mean concentrating to an exhausting degree to the exclusion of all else.