Does anyone think they DONT have ADHD?

[Frenchtoastie]

I keep seeing posts on instagram with various reasons why someone has ADHD and then hundreds of comments below reporting these people also have all of these symptoms.
Just wondering if anyone reads these and doesn’t relate to them? To me they are just part of being human, but maybe I am completely wrong and I have ADHD🤣

the posts generally include statement along these lines…

• I find it hard to get going or impossible to stop
• I can put off a tiny task for weeks but worry about it for hours but when I finally complete it it takes 5 minutes
• I can distracted and start cleaning after the shower and suddenly I’ve cleaned the whole house whilst wearing my towel
• Having a chair covered in clothes
• having multiple drinks on the go in the house
• needing a calender because if not I would forget appointments

Yeah perhaps he should have just worked harder

im so time blind I couldn’t tell the time until aged 12 with the help of one of those half and half watches

I then became a teacher as I needed the structure of the day. 🤣 I remember distinctly thinking this. Plus I like a wide range if subjects

I got better at maths through teaching it.

Good to see so many self diagnosed psychiatrists on here.

I genuinely think we have having a private diagnosis pandemic. It’s actually a bit frightened. I see if a fair amount particularly with parents chasing a ‘diagnosis’ where as actually it’s just that parenting is a bit tricky and hard at times but they want a label to wear instead. What worried most about this is now the system is flooded and people and parents who have actual SEND needs and actually fully need support and help are not getting it as the services are so bloody stretched full of some people just wanting a label for a bit of tricky parenting.

Of course it is, for starters you would have to have symptoms from before the age of 12. Secondly having 1 or 2 traits doesn't make it likely a person has ADHD or autism, and thirdly its more about how traits impact your ability to live, function or reach your poteintial
The first 3 traits in that list are more ND specific, the last 3 are more traits of being a human but again if you are ND the severity of how they impact your life tend to be higher. An NT person is very unlikely to forget the time or date ( or be late for!) an important job interview or medical appointment whereas one or all 3 could happen for someone with ADHD. At the same time most parents require a calendar to keep track of a family's medical, school, sport etc activities.
Its like the ' oh I'm so OCD, I have to stack the dishwasher properly'.....really? Is that the only thing you have to do 'properly'? Do you be late for work because you have to completely restart stacking the dishwasher because its not right? Do you have to keep going back to check the dishwasher? Are you still fixated on the dishwasher when you eventually do get out of the house? Do you have an overwhelming fear or dread that something awful is going to happen because or the dishwasher ? No? So you are just fussy about the best way to stack a dishwasher and claiming a condition without suffering any of the horrific aspects of it, I dont understand why people do it but now ADHD seems to be the thing to claim to have.
There are far more diagnosis now because people have better access to help and assesment, and more awareness that women with ADHD dont always present with the 'typical' symptoms ie how males tend to present that being the criteria used to spot traits

You'll find many of those so called normal people are women who burnt themselves to a crisp pretending they were 'just fucking fine', then hit pregnancy or perimenopause and the house of cards came down. Someone like your brother may well have learning difficulties alongside his ADHD but only the 'ADHD' was picked up because it made him a pest to others. He might also be a bit of an idiot or have a personality disorder.

im so time blind I couldn’t tell the time until aged 12 with the help of one of those half and half watches

That’s not what time blindness is. I’m slightly concerned that you’re a teacher.

I do think there's a problem with the "seriously impact your life" part of the assessment.

I've been told by many people on this forum that I can't have ADHD because I reject the description that it has seriously impacted my life. I don't believe it has, when I compare my life to that of many people without ADHD.

But in an assessment, the moment you say that you find living with all the adjustments that you have to work at, coupled with the absence of the dopamine brain reward (for completing a task, for example) that neurotypical people have, can make the reward for being alive feel like it doesn't match the effort, then you are regarded as having been "seriously impacted".

For the neurotypical who have just read that last paragraph and said "we all feel like that from time to time", then consider what it means to realise you feel that way at 7 years old and it never stops.

I'm chronically early. My husband moans because I always allow too much time for travel in his opinion and if we are going somewhere together we often arrive about 20 minutes early and end up sitting in the car or otherwise waiting.

In my defence, left to his own devices, my husband is the opposite - always on the last minute and a terrible faffer. When I say 'we will leave at 08:15' I mean, we will be walking out the door at 08:15 - my bag will have been long since packed, my coat and shoes will be on - he takes 08:15 as the time to start getting his things together.

He's realised at the last minute he can't find his glasses or he needs to go to the toilet etc. often enough for me to feel justified in building in 'faff' time.

A key difference is that I always work out arrival timings on worst case scenarios - road works, traffic jams, trains/buses being late or cancelled - and I do a counting back calculation for how long each bit of preparation/travel will take - and he works them out assuming everything will go super-smoothly and relying on instinct rather than 'we need to allow 10 minutes to pick up some petrol, 10 minutes to find a parking space' etc.

It’s so tough I’m fairly sure I have adhd and a lot of people have said it to me. I think it’s more than piles of clothes and using a calendar though. I think everyone has a spectrum and we all sit somewhere on it so it’s easy to relate to some of the general ones so people are like yes I have adhd.

i have behaviours which are less spoke about than others which does make me think I have it

You can have adhd and hold down a career, relationship, family. Especially if your adhd is the inattentive “busy brain” type rather than hyperactive body type. You may self manage and mask your difficulties, or you may crash and burn out. You may be able to hold down a successful career and relationship etc but hide away your anxiety, addiction, ocd behaviours, eating disorders, and all the other co morbidities that often come with being neurodivergent. It’s very complex.

I have a friend like that! He can't picture images at all, and he's never ever remembered dreaming. He's actually how many people would picture someone with (formerly) Aspergers and very techy, highly intelligent, but has never sought any sort of diagnosis.

That's fascinating. Are you quite a calm, chilled person who is not prone to worrying and ruminating?

I have a lot of the symptoms on these lists but I don't believe I have ADHD. I do however believe I have a lot of trauma and CPTSD which I've been told by people with the relevant qualifications can present as very similar to ADHD.
The main fact for knowing I don't have ADHD is I haven't had the symptoms my whole life, they only started early 30s

Also a lot of people with undiagnosed adhd have been masking since childhood, to fit in

I could say yes to all the items on your list but I don't think I have ADHD. I do struggle with concentration in extremely high-stress situations (e.g. exams) and my housework is a bit hit-and-miss, but otherwise I muddle along OK.

However, my nephew is diagnosed with ADHD, my daughter is undergoing tests, and the entire family thinks my mother has it (she's in denial about it). They all have much greater problems than I do.

That’s not at all what I said or implied, and I think you know that.

Same here. I'm diagnosed with ADHD. I really, really struggle to use a calendar. I don't know why. So it's not really that I need a calendar, it's more that I need a personal assistant to put things in it for me and check it for me etc.

I don't care all that much what people think of my diagnosis, I don't generally tell people anyway. The most important thing for me is that I can ask to work from home as a reasonable work adjustment. Working from home has been absolutely life changing for me. Not because it enables me to put washing on at lunch or because it's easier etc, because it actually enables me to do my job well and without chaos. It benefits my employer as well as me, I am so much more productive.

Also having a diagnosis has helped me to beat myself up less and understand myself better.

This thread demonstrates why it's better not to talk about a diagnosis I think, because people will judge you for it. And I agree that the checklist in the OP is not helpful, it's not a diagnostic checklist.

Yes, and the earworms. So when it's not talking (worrying, narrating), it's bloody singing, not even well, or even just repeating random phrases.
No wonder I don't mind spending time alone, I'm effictively not!

always blows my mind that some people don’t have an internal dialogue. I said to my talking therapist (hello recent OCD diagnosis) that I would love my brain to shut up and just not think for 5 mins and just not be ticking over all the time

I do wonder how much the explosion of the attention economy is exacerbating or mimicking some of these traits.

I think we're starting to develop a better understanding on the impact of constant Teams/Slack etc notifications, popups, pings etc on not just our productivity but on our brains. And it really isn't good - and there seems to be overlap in presentation with ADHD symptoms by altering executive function (though a different underlying cause.)

I have really vivid dreams as well so I don't even get much of a rest asleep!
I also have OCD, I wonder if it's inter-connected?

My adult daughter was diagnosed with ADHD and needs medication.
Going through her diagnosis assessments with her (I had to tell them how it affected her childhood) I realised I share a lot of teh same traits but it doesn't impact my life in the same way. Some of these were -
Hypermobility
Intense new hobbies, spend £100s on equipment then either never do the hobby or lose interest after the first try
If I have an appointment later in the day, I really cant do my other tasks as my brain is so focused on that
If I don't know immediately where something is, I will just rebuy it
I will buy multiple things like soy sauce and mayo because I forget to check before I go shopping and jut buy more. I have 5 bottles and that's because I finally threw some away.
Every activity I do has to have a reward, otherwise I really struggle to do it. And I mean everything.
Binge eating - now this one actually does impact my life in a huge way
Collecting things - I buy make-up, books and toys constantly because I adore the dopamine hit from buying them. I have read about 10% of the books in my house, use about 5% of the make-up!
As a child, felt that I was weird, that everyone else knew the secret to being normal and I just didn't.
I really struggle not to butt in when someone is talking, I have to mentally hold myself back and end up not hearing what they are saying. Also, I relate by sharing a story about my own experience but Ive heard that is seen as rude.
I cant concentrate unless I am either writing copious notes or doodling. Its like my brain cant listen unless my hands are also doing something. I write pages of notes in meetings that I never read again.
Unless its a cinema, I cannot watch something without also reading my phone too
I have strong rejection sensitivity - this one has also impacted my like as I have lost multiple friendships from it :(

There's loads more but I am boring myself now😆

I think this is a bit of a misconception? It's not that our brains aren't thinking. They're just not talking while they do it.

I'm one who thought for years and years that speech-style thought was a literary device ("wow that sky looks grey and threatening," Anne thought) rather than many people's actual experience of thought.

Those thoughts are still ticking over, sometimes being intrusive or stressful or whatever else. They just don't use words to do it.

As an aside to a PP: I am totally shit at meditating.

I always presumed I was a bit different but I thought it was just me until DD started dating a man diagnosed with ADHD/autism.
So I started looking into it just to understand including social media posts and actually found most of the symptoms apply to myself and we have a lot in common!
Explains a lot and the feelings and issues I've had since I was a child.
I've not sought a diagnosis as it feels like I'll be jumping on the bandwagon, I kind of like being a bit different and certainly don't go around telling people how ADHD has made me do something daft/forgotten something.