Does anyone think they DONT have ADHD?

[Frenchtoastie]

I keep seeing posts on instagram with various reasons why someone has ADHD and then hundreds of comments below reporting these people also have all of these symptoms.
Just wondering if anyone reads these and doesn’t relate to them? To me they are just part of being human, but maybe I am completely wrong and I have ADHD🤣

the posts generally include statement along these lines…

• I find it hard to get going or impossible to stop
• I can put off a tiny task for weeks but worry about it for hours but when I finally complete it it takes 5 minutes
• I can distracted and start cleaning after the shower and suddenly I’ve cleaned the whole house whilst wearing my towel
• Having a chair covered in clothes
• having multiple drinks on the go in the house
• needing a calender because if not I would forget appointments

I don’t but my son does and I now strongly suspect DH does.

Since DS was diagnosed I’ve done a lot of reading on it and realise that the real markers for him are none of the stuff in the list above, they are much more nuanced. The stuff in the list may be more common in those with ADHD, I don’t know, but as they’re also common with NT people I wouldn’t use them as a diagnosing factor.

Sick of reels popping up on my feed these days of people talking about their ADHD with a list of stuff we all do!

Yes. It’s much more. It’s just that list is a very easy visual of how people with ADHD are.

I have absolutely all the ‘symptoms’ and a million more. I don’t think I have ADHD. I’m just an anxious perfectionist who struggles with depression and anxiety, and I also have some OCD too. Not the OCD you often see on TV with the cleaning rituals etc, but the one with the almost endless loop of rumination and catastrophising and need for reassurance. This type of OCD is very linked with anxiety.

Well, if I am ND, or have ADHD, neither me nor anyone else has ever noticed. And I wouldn’t bother to do these assessments. No point. 🤷‍♀️

I think the line is drawn where it is disabling.

I am very conflicted about this. My DD is autistic with ADHD and dyspraxia. That’s not lightning striking thrice - those three things are often found together. When she was diagnosed I only knew one other person in our position, in another country. Now it seems to be everywhere.

These people are not as disabled as my daughter is. They can manage socially, although it tires them. They can draw and write at an age-related level (DD’s writing is that of a small child despite being in her late teens). The ADHD piece is more complex because they do seem to suffer as badly as DD does.

I do think that as a whole, we are living in an attention crisis, which is affecting everyone’s ability to use their working memory.

When DD was diagnosed, I was advised to read up on neurodiversity in girls, and there was Aspergirls and basically nothing else. Now there is a slew of information and content creation.

I don’t really see a clear plan on how to deal with all this. I think parents of young children should be being targeted on how they interact with their phones, rather than just children. I think executive function development should be taught to parents in the same way phonics are. I think there needs to be a wider recognition that having two parents working from home is a risk to language development, because children are urged to be quiet.

Well said

The thing is that people who are neurodivergent have an extreme of behaviours and no choice about it, where people who are ND can have a number of similar behaviours but to a lesser degree, fewer of them and can usually control them when they really try.
I am not autistic, I wouldn't meet the diagnostic criteria, but I have a number of traits that align with autism. I would never say 'I am a bit autistic' or anything as stupid as that but I am drawn to ND people and I think there's a reason for that. Birds of a feather flock together!

It's not just having these traits/"symptoms" though. It's having them to the point that they severely impact on your life. Eg everyone can be a bit scatty, but not everyone is so scatty that not matter how hard they try, they get fired from jobs/fuck up their taxes etc.

I am a teacher. A couple of years ago I was talking to a pupil at break time about his behaviour and the expectations around acceptable behaviour in the classroom. He told me he had ADHD. Looked on his student profile. I explained staff had not been informed of this. He told me everyone has ADHD. I told him I didn't. If there was any suggestion of suspected ADHD staff would have been informed. I have noticed on here people often ask if someone has ADHD if their behaviour is poor. There are too many people self diagnosing.

I do all of the things on the list. I don't think I have ADHD. DH has ADHD: diagnosed as a child 30 years ago. It's very different to procrastinating and being a bit disorganised.

He has absolute time blindness: no idea of how long any task will take, even if he has done something similar/the same before. He couldn't actually keep a diary because he'd forget to put appointments in (it took me a few years to work this out and now I have to say, "put this in your calendar now" not just "this is happening"). We have several of a lot of things because he can't remember what's in drawers and so will buy again. Planning out a task with lots of stages is tricky, unless it's work that he hyper focuses on to the exclusion of everything else. I think he finds family life with small kids quite stressful because there's so many moving parts.

I think ADHD is absolutely a real thing and probably under diagnosed, and that social media checklists are terrible because they pathologies normal behaviour. I also think that modern life, where we do multiple things at once, and are expected to be on top of things instantly that might previously have been a function of someone else's job (holiday booking, banking) doesn't help the feeling of overwhelm.

It absolutely infuriates me how it is thrown around. Same as people claiming they are OCD.

My son has severe ADHD and it is debilitating. It impacts most aspects of his life.

Yup. We've defined normal feelings and behaviour as a medical issue and we're excusing a massive percentage of our children from having any accountability for their behaviour.

You must have OCD then 🤣

I think the issue is its an Instagram post that just says easy things to get you to comment on the post! Its true none of that stuff alone means anything but again its just an instagram post

In reality, an ADHD assessment is expensive, takes a long time to wait for, involves way more complex stuff, and really affects your life. For example I have ADHD and I have to take theanine because my brain makes too much glutamate and it puts a strain on my nervous system (its like the accelerator always being on!). I'm constantly thinking about everything (not anxiety, just always thinking 10 things at once). The theanine blocks the glutamate enough that it feels more 'normal' and honestly its life changing!

My youngest of three has ADHD and is medicated. He still struggles. I am not sure how he will hold down a job in future and it really worries me.

I think we all have a bit of it- but if it’s at the point of ruining your life you need intervention with medication.

I see very successful people having ADHD and do wonder how accurate the diagnosis is but I try not to judge and to just think that between then and their dr!

Really sensible post

i was a bright but ditsy/disorganised/impulsive child and have had to learn strategies to organise my time/work/family activities as an adult, I’ve had to learn not to interrupt or dominate conversations. I’ve missed a flight in an airport and turned up to a hen do the wrong weekend. But it’s just a facet of my personality, not a disorder. It’s annoying when presumably mildly affected people use the label to absolve themselves of any responsibility for being on time or following through on things they agreed to do. It also massively diminishes the experience and support for people like PPs brother.

I think most can relate to some of those points, although I think most have to note down appointments, just like meetings are put into an outlook calendar.. otherwise people would forget, right? What I find strange is some people don’t have anything going on in their head.. I have a constant monologue going on, I sometimes wake up with songs in my head, I can’t read books because I’m always thinking of something else. My husband said he has NOTHING going on his head, no internal noise, I thought having constant noise in your head was normal, then I did wonder if it’s because I take most of the mental load 😂 have I got ADHD, possibly, will I get diagnosed, no, because I’ve ticked along for this long. I can be a little chaotic day to day but soon as I need to solve a work problem it’s done and sorted, with no panic.

I think a far bigger issue is people living their lives on social media and believing the absolute tosh that people post on there. I think (hope) the majority of people would not diagnose themselves (whether it’s ADHD, cancer, depression, etc.), from a couple of sentences some random person on the internet has come up with.

YANBU. I have favourite mugs and favourite pieces of cutlery at home - some just feel wrong to me. According to those hugely irritating videos, that makes me autistic.
Human beings are weird and wonderful and chaotic and comfort-seeking. I think we should celebrate that without trying to give any form of quirky behaviour a label.
Having a neurodivergence that makes life difficult or distressing is an entirely different thing.

I don’t have ADHD. I’ve been described as “high as a kite”, daydreamy, and fidgety since childhood. I frequently lose things and am typically doing 5 or 6 different things at once. I can’t relax unless I’ve done some form of exercise every day. I have “the chair” and multiple “doom piles”. However my personality and ADHD- type traits do not have a significant detrimental impact on my day to day functioning. I have a steady job and multiple healthy relationships. I maintain a healthy lifestyle. We’ve lost sight of the fact that ADHD is and should be defined as a “disorder”, affecting no more than 2-3% by definition. We ALL have traits, few have the disorder. My son has ADHD - was on the brink of expulsion from school pre meds and continues to have extreme difficulty making friends. His dx is legit.

I do wonder how much ADHD in premenopausal/menopausal women is actually hormone related..

It seems easier to get an ADHD diagnosis than HRT!

The internal monologue is not a sign of adhd though. It’s just your type of brain. Like people who have synesthesia and those who don’t.

Honestly about 90% of my friends seem to think they do. But I know a couple of people who have actually been diagnosed. Are on meds etc and the difference between their behaviour and the friend who can’t focus today because it’s a really boring work task is GALAXIES apart!
I want to say no you don’t have adhd, your concentration is being destroyed by ageing, menopause and the constant distraction of screens, SM, and your phone pinging every 10 seconds!

🤣 I must do! But in all honesty, I see it I’m here all the time people saying they’re overwhelmed with everything they have to do, working, cleaning, kids, kids activities and “life admin” and I’m lucky that I just don’t feel that way. I definitely do not have adhd.

Actually, the most annoying self-diagnosis is OCD. Being tidy / organised is not the same thing! I have a relative with a genuine diagnosis of OCD and he hoards rubbish and doesn’t wash.