Does anyone think they DONT have ADHD?

[Frenchtoastie]

I keep seeing posts on instagram with various reasons why someone has ADHD and then hundreds of comments below reporting these people also have all of these symptoms.
Just wondering if anyone reads these and doesn’t relate to them? To me they are just part of being human, but maybe I am completely wrong and I have ADHD🤣

the posts generally include statement along these lines…

• I find it hard to get going or impossible to stop
• I can put off a tiny task for weeks but worry about it for hours but when I finally complete it it takes 5 minutes
• I can distracted and start cleaning after the shower and suddenly I’ve cleaned the whole house whilst wearing my towel
• Having a chair covered in clothes
• having multiple drinks on the go in the house
• needing a calender because if not I would forget appointments

Me I do not have ADHD

but I have a bit of dyspraxia which makes me too scared to drive and I cry with heights and go down steep stairs on my bum ( which is embarrassing). But it’s not a disability it’s inconvenience eg picked last for sports at school or being scruffy, not seeing on a straight line etc. There are work arounds. On the converse side I have quite a good long term memory. I am also quite an imaginative thinker.

My son is autistic and complex needs and is disabled. He rants and talks to himself most days. He has huge mood swings and needs to be volcroed to a PA to go most places. He is hugely vulnerable. He has a spiky profile and know more History then most people unless they are professors and even then ..However he has assessed scored for things eg motor and language on percentiles like 0.5 and 1 and 0.75 which is very severe. We don’t allow his to use sharp knives as his motor is terrible and we have had to many cuts and injuries .

For everything it’s a matter of degree. You could he ASD and it’s a nuisance but you can work around it . You can have ADHD and work around it or you could have these things and be completely unable to live independently.

I think you should try to get a diagnosis though I appreciate the waiting list is endless! Your symptoms sound more than usual.

So when 50% or more people have ADHD, does that just make them normal? I mean, it'll be like having IBS or something else that's dismissed soon.

Strange times we live in.

I see social media and from the description I have it, but I’m fairly confident I don’t. It’s like anxiety… no you don’t have anxiety, you just feel anxious about a perfectly normal situation that would make most people feel that way.

Yep. Throughout my school career I was doing my homework 5 mins before the lesson. Unless I have an absolute impending deadline it doesn’t get done. Tax return gets done 5 mins before it’s due. Nothing was ever picked up at school as I have a good memory so was able to fudge my way through exams and do quite well. Having to do a dissertation at university was the first time I felt really challenged to have to face up to the procrastination. I had to give myself mini deadlines otherwise I would have been writing it the night before I was due! I always loved the research element of my course but hated actually having to sit down and do the essays. Over the years at work I have learnt to face it head on and find ways that worked for me and it has drastically improved.

i don’t beleive I have adhd but based on adults on social media - this is what they are often talking about. I think most of us have some elements of adhd symptoms but if everyone who has symptoms supposedly has it how is that going to work? The limited schools resources need to go to the most vulnerable not people like me.

Exactly good point...

@IStillHearTheWaves I have a maths degree, and an internal monologue that honestly does not shut the fuck up. I can't imagine not having one, surely everyone must do? If not, they'd be awesome at meditation lol.

The problem is it's self report, and I think there's a lot of scope for people to exaggerate and psychiatrists to set the bar low. Take something like getting to work on time. Everyone feels it's a rush, they only just make it etc and reports they struggle to get to work on time. But where does that leave the person who is genuinely time blind and often actually late by mistake, without realising or because they can't wake up or get themselves together or keep forgetting things or zoning out. It's very subjective, and the people saying they struggle often can't imagine what an actual deficit in that area might look like.

If you have adhd, it isn’t that you won’t, it’s that you can’t.

It isn’t that you’re externally successful, it’s that you’re internally unsuccessful.

It isn’t that you admire your character quirks, it’s that you cannot control yourself internally.

It isn’t that you don’t know how, it’s that, regardless of years of therapy, you just fucking can’t.

ADHD is looking at yourself and desperately wanting to change but being utterly unable to do so.

Its finding every day being yourself such a struggle that you’d rather be dead

People tend to get to an age where performance naturally declines, or they start getting caught out, then decide they're either autistic or adhd. Colleague of mine decided he was autistic, which explained his inappropriate comments, behaviour and inability to keep up. Then decided he was adhd, which also explained the former. His symptoms are remarkably similar to the list of menopause symptoms. But he's on meds now. Which appear to make no difference. He is, however, now untouchable.

I'm joining the: probably have it but no point in dx gang. It explains a lot about my childhood. Mum used to tell me to stop making weird faces. It's a tic, mum. A tic. I didn't realise this until a few years ago. And why we don't talk about my learning to drive (thought it was dyspraxia).So, so much. The crying on every birthday- especially parties. The sheer chaos.

But again, I'm friends with a family where for the men in particular, adhd has led to substance abuse and prison at times, largely due to impulse behaviour. It's really not the same.

And I agree with pp. If almost everyone you meet, or their dc, are adhd or autistic then the way it's being applied now means that the nt people are actually the nd.

One of my children has adhd, but for him it impacts him in a very dysfunctional way.

Dh doesn’t have a monologue. I have full on committee meetings quite often. It’s how I process. It’s fascinating when you learn others process differently. Dsil cannot picture anything. She reads a book but the description doesn’t create any visual image in her head. It’s so bizarre to me.

Hmm, well, that's Instagram for you. People want 'likes' so they post things others can relate to and use clickbait headlines.

There is very much more to a Neurodivergent diagnosis than a short list of behavioural traits. It might be that the things in the list are common in people with ADHD but if they are undergoing an assessment it will look at a much wider and deeper picture.

I don't have ADHD. I do have diagnosed Autism and the written assessment was pages long, it took me about a week to fill it in (and I am very good at filling forms in and find it a congenial task) and then it was followed by a whole afternoon's in-person assessment. The same clinic I was assessed by covers ADHD assessments too so I doubt they are any less thorough.

I can be fairly sure I don't have ADHD as it would have been picked up during my Autism assessment but there are three things on that list I do (putting off certain tasks, letting clothes pile on the chair, sometimes starting tasks at odd moments). Sometimes ADHD traits can run alongside Autism but the point is I don't have enough of them to warrant a diagnosis of 'AuDHD' as I believe it's called if you 'officially' have both.

I have a pile of worn clothes that have life left in them on my bedroom floor. I also have multiple glasses of water on the go around the house. But I don’t have ADHD and don’t think I do either. I’m just busy and don’t always have time to sort these things out til the weekend.

I have no inner voice, it’s quiet.

In a similar vein, I get cross with all the people with "mental health" issues.
They are usually angry, upset etc - all normal human emotions.
It denigrates those who really have mental health problems.

I’m always on time on the eyes of most people. That actually means I’m stupidly early unless something outside of my control happens , and even then I’m normally at least on time , because I’m THAT early. What that means is that I waste a lot of MY time, not others, so it doesn’t impact them , so it doesn’t get noticed. Not only am I early, but I get ready too early and often can’t do much else or focus on something else because I have to be in x place at y o’clock. It doesn’t impact my life in terms of friendships , appointments, work etc. , but I can easily lose half a day because I have a doctor’s appointment at 12 o’clock , despite being up at 6. Does it count or not?

Unfortunately that wasnt my experience, having ADHD I obviously went through the wait time myself for my assessment which is how I know, and it was very long. I have a couple of colleagues who have been told its a 1.5 year wait for them as well. Maybe it depends on where you live. Its expensive if you go private because waiting years is too problematic.

This really resonates for me. Getting an assessment for ADHD as an adult requires the knowledge to ask for one and ideally being organised and persistent and able to advocate for yourself. It requires you to follow several steps of a process which is inherently hard for many people with these traits. It is also easier if you have the money to go private and pay for the assessment yourself.

People protect it like this precious thing: 'I've been diagnosed by a professional so it must be real vs all these other people who just think they have it.' Yet wealth and knowledge and status makes it easy to get to these professionals and to know what to say to them to get the outcome you want... wealth and knowledge and status which people with debilitating ADHD-type traits are likely to find it harder to accumulate. Also: why do we revere professionals and treat their word as gospel in the context of ADHD diagnosis (which incidentally is achieved through different procedures that lack consistency) but disparage professionals in other contexts, eg when we don't agree with a teacher or economist or academic or indeed any other type of doctor and therefore just happily argue back against them or ignore what they have to say?

(Saying this as someone diagnosed and medicated but also sceptical, so I'm aware I'm having my stimulants and eating them, so to speak).

This is exactly how I feel. I sometimes think that I almost certainly do have ADHD, DD is suspected of it and is going through the assessment process now. I struggle with a lot of the symptoms listed above and more.

But I am in my 50s, have a job and family, more or less successful and have my shit together so I don’t see what it would achieve being given a diagnosis for some I can manage.

I struggle with time management, hate diarising and planning things to the point of phobia, hate dealing with money, get bored and lose focus easily.

But what am I going to do now other than crack on with it?

My son was recently tested for adhd, with the nhs. He scored high on both Conners reports but his QB test did not reflect ADHD as he scored almost a perfect score and sat very still completing it. He wasn't diagnosed, now when I tell you if anyone met my son they would say he has adhd, he isn't just restless or hyper, he also has more specific symptoms that would reflect adhd.

So when I see my son and his behaviours and see that he doesn't meet the requirements of a diagnosis (which i accept) then i absolute think alot of these adults who are either self diagnosing or getting a diagnosis via private diagnosis aren't genuinely adhd, I think adults would be harder to diagnose because of they are convinced they have it - and want to have it in some cases, then it could be much easier to sway a diagnosis.

I definitely dont have ADHD. I dont believe in home diagoses. They are dangerous and unhelpful. I had a proper diagnosis of complex PTSD by a consultant psychiatrist after a long period of counselling.
It doesnt stop me from living a life or working full time but I do need to take medication.

I have one of these. It talks day and night. Some days I find it exhausting

People with ADHD who do the things your brother hasn’t done may look “just fucking fine” in contrast, but they’re working many, many times harder than people without ADHD to achieve those things. I’m sorry your brother’s life has been so difficult.

If you had it you wouldn't be starting a thread or contributing to a thread encouraging the mocking of people who do.