Does anyone think they DONT have ADHD?

[Frenchtoastie]

I keep seeing posts on instagram with various reasons why someone has ADHD and then hundreds of comments below reporting these people also have all of these symptoms.
Just wondering if anyone reads these and doesn’t relate to them? To me they are just part of being human, but maybe I am completely wrong and I have ADHD🤣

the posts generally include statement along these lines…

• I find it hard to get going or impossible to stop
• I can put off a tiny task for weeks but worry about it for hours but when I finally complete it it takes 5 minutes
• I can distracted and start cleaning after the shower and suddenly I’ve cleaned the whole house whilst wearing my towel
• Having a chair covered in clothes
• having multiple drinks on the go in the house
• needing a calender because if not I would forget appointments

Part of the diagnostic process is about how the symptoms impact your daily life. You won't get a diagnosis if you only experience the symptoms mildly and there's no real affect on your life.

This!

I genuinely worry about how casually we throw the term ADHD around today.

If every struggle with concentration, motivation, starting a task or finishing what you’ve started is labelled ADHD, where do we draw the line?

We live in a world of constant distractions, instant gratification and endless scrolling. Our attention spans are being challenged like never before, yet instead of questioning our habits, we increasingly look for a diagnosis to explain our struggles.

Let’s be clear: ADHD is a genuine neurodevelopmental condition, but not every struggle is a disorder. Not everyone who procrastinates lacks focus or feels unmotivated has ADHD.

Sometimes, we need to take responsibility for our habits, build discipline and learn to do things even when we don't feel like doing them.

Incorrect, my brothers and sisters grew up to fine, you don't teach your kids how to have ADHD or how not to have it.

I have 2 sons and a daughter, my daughter is my clone and she absolutely will end up with the same diagnosis some day I fully believe. My sons however are the complete opposite of both of us and as the only adult in the house I can assure you, I could absolutely teach her to write a list or plan ahead - that does not mean it's going to be seen through. And that's also a really daft idea of what ADHD is.

ADHD people can lock in like anyone else can, we can pre plan, we can write lists and organise shit. Not consistently as standard day to day things but it's not 'rubbed off' on watching your mum make a list

That's a really good description and sums up my adult son (diagnosed) with ADHD. That spinning around staying still thing, moving all over the place but not able to accomplish anything. It's hard

I agree.

I think that these “symptom checklists” are very misleading and damaging as they don’t give the full picture or explain that for example, it isn’t needing a calendar that makes you ADHD. Everyone needs a calendar. People with ADHD may have numerous copies, lists, reminders, stick to none and can’t even organise them. And it isn’t through lack of skills or not being shown.

In my experience, those who have genuine ND with all the crap it brings, would give anything not to have it. Most of these don’t share their diagnoses to absolve themselves from blame or issues, but in an attempt to stop unkindness and cruel judgement.

Those who merrily carry on functioning without the crippling issues of ND and throw a dignosis out as an excuse while not appearing to try - I’m a bit skeptical.

I agree. I have an ASD diagnosis and I just don't even tell anyone because it just feels like... I don't know, like it's some sort of bandwagon at this point. Going by the posts on here, about 90% of parents have neurodivergent children as well.

If it's that widespread, it's not a divergence, it's a normal pattern.

I do have ADHD (diagnosed) but I don’t think that list is an accurate representation of having ADHD and none of them are in the diagnostic criteria. Some are true for me, like finding it hard to stop and start tasks, but some aren’t true - I don’t tend to have multiple drinks on the go for example. I have a calendar but I never remember to add appointments onto it. I have never got out of the shower and cleaned the whole house in my towel. Reading that list I wouldn’t think ‘omg that sounds exactly like me’ despite my diagnosis.

Me! I am definitely guilty of doing all of those things you bullet point and I think they're totally normal.

Chores are boring! Or I find them a bore, at least, so I do procrastinate at times, particularly if I'm tired, burned out and just have too much other stuff on - life is so busy now. However, I'm perfectly capable of lighting a rocket under my own arse when I need to. No problems at school or with concentration, managed my homework load and exam prep myself and have always been generally good at organising myself. I work better under pressure though and often left things a bit late and did better for it. To an extent, I still do and I class this is a personality trait, not a sign of ADHD. I also have an internal monologue - again, this is a personality trait. I'm good at analysing literature and tend towards the arts, so I wonder if those without the monologue are more maths focused?

I dont really relate to alot of adhd diagnostic criteria as a full time way of being. I can sometimes tick bits on those 'screening quizzes' but I know with other conditions its the same. I get stiff joints but I dont have rheumatoid arthritis and that doesnt mean RA doesnt exist because I have an element of it.

I do meet people who just seem to run on a very different operating system to me and some of those people have diagnosed adhd.

Everyone has quirks of character. Unless it is massively debilitating, you don't need someone else's money to help you with it.

Interesting... I suspect the story of the human race is full of examples of people who would meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD today, but who either:

• died because they couldn't do what they needed to do to fit in with their communities so got shafted or killed, or otherwise failed to maintain their own basic survival;
• got hailed as geniuses or generally treated with lots of recognition and respect because they had the time and money to follow their whims whilst other people handled the essentials of life for them (servants / lackeys / wives, depending on historical context and level of wealth).

I really think that part of the diagnostic process needs to be about evidencing more of the issues experienced. Someone saying they find it frustrating when they are a bit scatty is not the same as someone unable to keep a job or meet hygiene needs.

@ImJustATeenageGreboBaby this is half the people my DH work with! All got their shiny new ADHD diagnosis with the prescriptions to match - all are senior and highly successful in their fields, happy long-term marriages, children, paid-off houses... you get the picture.

I have a friend who I think clearly does have it, having known him since childhood. He does manage to be self-employed (working outdoors, independently, he'd never cope in an office) but that's because his wife does absolutely all the admin and paperwork. He literally can't. He can't even speak to the bank on the phone.
He's never mentioned it or sought diagnosis though, unlike everyone else.

Totally agree op. All these memes on X 'you know you have adhd when...' then just describe totally normal behaviours.

I don't doubt that like depression, anxiety, autism and many other health issues some are debilitated by issues but come on, a lot of it is just personality.

Ben Shepherd once sombrely announced his 'adhd diagnosis' on This Morning as if he was terminally ill .

YABVU as you equate online to everyone. And your goady post is in itself mocking a debilitating condition.

I think most people are dealing with an element of cognitive overwhelm due to the ridiculously rapid onslaught of information we’re now expected to assimilate constantly.

If people struggling got off their phones and screens more a lot of their symptoms would lessen. They won’t though. Much more in vogue to seek a diagnosis.

I just think it's personality too. Apparently I have it because I have to actively think about closing cupboard doors.

It's a matter of degree though. Nearly everyone struggles with those things a bit, but some people struggle hugely. Those of us who only struggle a bit shouldn't dismiss people who cannot manage.

This is a problem for people who really do have adhd, because it's making a mockery of a serious condition. One chair covered with clothes doesn't indicate adhd. All the chairs however, and the bed apart from a small space to sleep on and the sofa, and every other flat surface in the house, and it keeps coming back no matter how many times people help you clear it.. that might indicate someone with a real deficit around being able to manage their stuff. I've got colleagues at work who have never missed a deadline, and keep all their admin in order easily, and now have adhd diagnoses (bought rather than nhs), and I wonder why they feel the need to do this.

I think those statements could apply to every human to some degree.

I appreciate some people have real issues with executive function that must be difficult but I think we need to be careful that we are not medicalising perfectly human behaviours, like procrastination and apathy and at the same time minimising the problems that genuine cases do face.

30 years ago it was depression, then it was anxiety now it’s ADHD. It follows fads and fashions since it became fashionable to ‘suffer from your nerves’ in the 18th century.

I don’t have adhd but I do tick some of the boxes and assume it’s normal life and quirks like every human being would expect to have. I think we’ve reached a point of over diagnosis in people that have no benefit to having one and I’ve seen people in real life roll their eyes when colleagues talk about their diagnosis which distracts from those that genuinely need support

I haven’t read this whole thread, but just to add to the original post:
Getting distracted by doom scrolling then getting distracted by a rabbit hole that comes up through it. ✔️
Finding it hard to focus on long tasks because I want to go back to scrolling/ rabbit holes / fun stuff on phone. ✔️
^ I think most of us are prone to the above! So it’s not that we’ve all got ADHD… I just blame smart phones - it has given us that easy distraction and retrained our brains into bad habits!

I jumped on the band wagon soon after lock down when all the posts on sm started coming out.
I’ve always struggled with mess, my mum would simply shut my bedroom door as a teen and twenties still living with parents. I was late to move out of home and when I finally did, my house was such a mess, I just didn’t invite anyone round.
My friends would tell me 45 minutes earlier than whatever time they wanted to meet as I was always frustratingly late.
I’m one of those people who can relate to a lot as I’ve tried all the jobs and all the hobbies. I didn’t meet my now husband til I was in my 30’s. He really struggles with my mess, puts things on the stairs that I just don’t see and walk over, I get so distracted by my phone. (I’m procrastinating emptying the dishwasher now!), and literally fit all the stereotypes of having adhd.
Ive been on the NHS waiting list for assessment for about 5 years, now I’m not sure I even want to be assessed! The sheer number of people who claim they have it, makes me think I’m normal, even though every single one of my friends who claim to have it, have immaculate beautiful houses, they’re always well presented, they have great jobs, they tell me “well it’s a real struggle for me”. Where I seem to differ is that I just can’t do it! I’m 50 now so I feel this is just me.
Weirdly, the thought of getting a diagnosis and being able to take medication to be organised is also really scary to me as I can’t imagine what being organised is like. I can’t imagine being able to take a pill and then I’ll be able to tidy as I go, remember appointments, or let the kids have play dates at our house because I won’t be ashamed of the state of it and that thought is also terrifying for some reason as I’d love to do those things!
I’m also scared by what happens if I’m one of the few who don’t get diagnosed, it feels like anyone who goes down the private route get a a diagnosis, is that better? If I don’t get diagnosed does that mean I’m just the fat, lazy slob I always assumed myself to be before the SM trend?
I just don’t know!

These people are not ADHD you only have to look at the amount of famous people who have seen someone unqualified and unlicensed and paid a lot of money to get a "diagnosis"!!! For a start we are all the autistic ADHD spectrum somewhere we would all tick a couple of boxes but we are not autistic ADHD, the NHS waiting list for ADHD diagnosis is about 5 years at the moment, but some people and mainly women it seems like to be a victim and say oh my ADHD brain i just cant do it which is very insulting to people with dyslexia who CANT do it and also wait till you go through menopause you wont remember your own name let alone where you left your car keys......and you dont just get ADHD one day!!!

Me. My ADHD colleagues have a lot of positives but they are so difficult to work with. The contrast in our organisation and attention to detail is worlds apart.