Does anyone think they DONT have ADHD?

[Frenchtoastie]

I keep seeing posts on instagram with various reasons why someone has ADHD and then hundreds of comments below reporting these people also have all of these symptoms.
Just wondering if anyone reads these and doesn’t relate to them? To me they are just part of being human, but maybe I am completely wrong and I have ADHD🤣

the posts generally include statement along these lines…

• I find it hard to get going or impossible to stop
• I can put off a tiny task for weeks but worry about it for hours but when I finally complete it it takes 5 minutes
• I can distracted and start cleaning after the shower and suddenly I’ve cleaned the whole house whilst wearing my towel
• Having a chair covered in clothes
• having multiple drinks on the go in the house
• needing a calender because if not I would forget appointments

You have a good memory! How does it work? Are you constantly reminding yourself you have an appointment on x day at x time or does it just pop in your head on the day?

It has occurred to me that those who decide they do not have ADHD or cannot be bothered to be diagnosed by someone who has no clue about their life, upbringing, how the family communicated will at some point need some help.
To cope with all of those who are. If those that are not become a minority they will indeed need some support, guidance, specialist funding to grapple with the difficulties they find living amongst those who are.

I jest. Those who truly have complications that are neurological ( and I should know), have my utter sympathy and support. I saw a young man with his mum in Sainsbury’s and you could see his difficulties. No question. My heart went out to both.
Those that jump on the bandwagon and say decide ( even for people they have never even met and are not qualified to judge ), please tone it down. Stop diagnosing the world and his wife. You put at risk funding for the young man I saw in Sainsbury’s who so very much should have help.

Dsil has no signs of Aspergers or any kind of diagnosis. She’s an amazing artist but has to do it from looking at something rather than memory as age can’t picture anything.

Trained as a primary teacher too and worked evenings and weekends through Uni with very little sleep, routine never worked for me 😂 Maths and music were my favourite subjects but wasn't good enough to specialise in either. Realised it wasn't for me though and left after probation.

IT is much more flexible and maintains some of the maths with all of the pressure and never ending training of teaching!

I remind myself internally and out loud constantly. So not only running through my head , but I’ll tell anyone who would listen that “i have doctors tomorrow “ . Then start the day with I have doctors today. I have doctors at 12. Send a text or two as well. I talk to a lot of people. Just to keep it to the forefront of my mind. If really important I’ll write it on my hand.

Unless, like I said in another post I don’t have work/anything else that day, in which case the only focus IS the appointment.

The social media posts around ADHD are usually lighthearted haha posts. They don’t represent the true reality of ADHD.
The guilt, shame, physical and emotional pain, the chaos, the financial cost, living a life that feels so uncontrolled in some aspects.
Maybe being able to mask so well people who don’t know you well would hardly notice.

It’s not just about forgetting things or losing things although that’s a big and frustrating part of it. It’s incredibly debilitating.

Same for people who say they have OCD because they like a tidy house. Fuck off and read about the disorder bit!

For me it's just earworms, not internal dialogue. They're really insistent.

I went down a rabbit hole with this a few years ago because of how strongly I resonated with diagnosed friends' listed symptoms. She sent me a checklist from her own assessment. I read the list out to husband, who nodded at every one especially his bugbear, which is that I never put things in the right place. After 30 years together, though, he does now know if he can't find the marmite in the cupboard, it's in the fridge...

Anyway, further research revealed that the traits I do have can be attributed to the Dyscalculia diagnosis I already have - there's a lot of comorbidities between dyslexia/Dyscalculia and ADHD.

After that, I gave up, because honestly I found I wasn't doing myself any favours with all this navel-gazing. I am 52, I have survived this far, my life isn't severely impaired. If anything, the Dyscalculia has been more of an issue because my numeracy is so poor, it's affected my employment choices. It might help me understand why I struggling so much with the (apparently 'basic' according to a lot of MN) skill of driving that I have never learned, but honestly, I still ain't gonna be driving, so it doesn't really matter why I couldn't get to grips with it.

Put it this way, as far as I am concerned, I don't have anything that impacts my daily life enough to warrant another diagnosis. I have met people who do, and it's been a massive benefit to them. I am not at their level.

Research (local, qualitative), with teachers in this area, indicated that children who wouldn't have been considered to have any type of ND or LD, are increasingly mimicking the bevaiours and tics of students who do have conditions in class, the teachers think this is because they see those students getting extra help and attention and they feel left out. Which I thought was a fascinating phenomenon, if widespread. The sheer numbers of children with SEN in classes also makes me wonder, if it gets to more than half of all children who have a SEN/ND, and they are the majority, who are the typicals then? Surely if most children now have these characteristics, then they're a feature not a bug anymore?

I relate swapsicles. I always felt different from everyone and wondered why I had few friendships as a child. My dds are the same and the youngest has bee diagnosed with autism and ADHD. She could not sit still as a child and used to run out of the classroom or clubs with fight or flight. She always seemed calm at home! It was school that referred us not us, but that was in primary 2 and it took 4 years for that to come back. Today she still paces and thinks too much with circular thinking and that can take her to dark places. Now a I get older I find I get circular thoughts especially about work.
i haven’t got other dd diagnosed or myself. For me I don’t see the point. I am thinking about it with dd as
she has issues with food textures and is locked in and can’t tell us how she feels a lot of the time. I

I’m not following the thread but just chucking this in:

Theres a massive feminist narrative that’s NOT being addressed.

Two Colleagues who have been diagnosed described how they’ll spend a day in fervent activity cleaning the whole house and then not again for weeks.

or they go upstairs to do one thing and get lost doing a million tasks (and then one said I was scatty, to my face. In a nice way but the irony meter went wild.)

Mumsnet brought me this article 9 years ago.

Is this ADHD? Or is this the reality of trying to be a woman in this day and age of perfect Instagram posts?

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Well I do have a formal diagnosis of ADHD (from one of the most experienced ADHD psychiatrists in the UK) and when I read the actual diagnostic criteria, I did not recognize myself. However, I did the screener on ADHD UK and that pointed to me having ADHD.

There is a lot of nonsense on social media. Also with ADHD, the confusing thing is everyone has some of the traits some of the time. To get a diagnosis, the traits have to be lifelong and impairing to a clinically significant level.

Going to add to this but I do have ADHD. Yes, most people will be able to say they can relate to the things on those lists. The key is how often and the impact on your day to day life.

I am a grafter, I always have been but I’ve never understood why it took me longer than others to pick things up, despite trying my best, taking notes down, writing instructions, trying so hard to make someone’s name stick when they’ve introduced themselves.

Constantly having a mind full of thoughts, phrases, songs, ideas, being self conscious with others as I fight the impulse to finish people’s sentences or interrupt with whatever has popped into my head before I forget it because it is rude. So I probably seem quieter than others because over years I’ve worked so hard not to interrupt that I’ve gone the other way

I have tried and implemented every which way to stay organised, I colour code emails, have lists that I review and revise regularly, I put appointments in the diary with reminders in advance, I have a rota for shopping and cleaning. Everything you can think of to keep organised and on top of things I do. I’m successful in my full time job and the house is reasonably clean and tidy (not perfect).

But despite all of those things I still struggled to do tasks, constantly mentally exhausted and that’s just doing the basics, eg do I do the washing up or hoover first, do I get a shower now or later on, I have stood in my kitchen so many times moving towards one thing then the next as my brain struggles to decide which task to do first. I cannot sit still and relax, if I’m trying to relax I’ll be thinking about something, my mind cannot be still, I feel tired when I wake up and through the day but then can’t sleep at night because it is constantly on the go.

I recently started medication, essentially it is a stimulant and for the first time in years my mind is quiet, I am productive without the mental exhaustion that comes with it. I’ve been keeping fit, I’ve been doing hobbies, reading. I feel a sense of happiness that I didn’t have before.

A lot of ADHD is to do with executive function. So while someone without ADHD absolutely can relate to the chair full of clothes or putting things off for weeks on end, for me that is all the time, the simplest of tasks feeling impossible despite doing everything I can to be organised and stay on top of things.

Hope that gives a bit of insight into why the lists can resonate for people and yet it doesn’t mean they’ve ADHD

I think it's more how these things affect your life. Everyone does everything to an extent but when it starts to completely control, and destroy, your life it's very different

I tick most of the boxes but it's just me, the way I am and I don't think I have adhd. I wouldn't bother with going down the route to see if I am because what's the point? What benefit will a diagnosis be? It won't stop me noticing the bathroom sink needs cleaning at 10.30pm or curb my desire for more craft stuff and my need for kitchen gadgets/accessories.

I’m a terrible procrastinator when it comes to boring and unfulfilling tasks but nope, no ADHD. I just don’t like doing boring and unfulfilling tasks.

I know that ADHD is a very real and difficult issue for some. I have a friend who is most definitely held back in life by it. She’s never been able to keep a job long term as she nearly always falls behind and ends up getting burned out. She has clear spikes of being incredibly hyper followed by extreme lows. We always just thought she was a big extrovert but actually she was exhausted from living in a permanent cycle of high/low/high/low. Finally she has a name for it and finally has help.

BUT, for many others, I feel it’s a little like horoscopes at the moment. If you read any horoscope (without checking the star sign), you’ll probably find a way to make it relevant to your circumstances. If I read a list of ADHD symptoms I’ve probably had them. But I don’t have it!

Also experiencing IBS and general gut health issues is strongly linked to neurodivergence. Anxiety, gut problems, poor executive function, rejection sensitivity, masking socially, issues around disordered eating often binge eating, gambling problems, compulsive shopping/overspending, all go hand in hand with ADHD.

I was diagnosed as a child many decades ago, way before computers, games, more than a few television channels, etc. A girl child at that, which would have been particularly hard to have had taken seriously back then unless it was screamingly obvious. So, no, I won't accept any suggestion I've been lured into self-diagnosing as ND via social media.

✅ & wishing it was just the 1 🤭?

That list is ridiculous. I don't have drinks on the go, but basically everything else applies to me and I definitely don't have ADHD. My job is working with kids who have it in school.

I think this is what a lot of people don't realise. You can have adhd traits but unless your symptoms are severe enough to be impacting everyday life you won't get a clinical diagnosis/treatment.

We are going through this with one of our children. Her suspected inattentive adhd had led to anxiety, OCD and an eating disorder. Despite being intelligent she is unable to focus on anything much and is really struggling with life.

People who think I'm a bit scatty so I must have adhd don't know the half of it.

Until 1999, roughly 81% of all ADHD studies focused exclusively on men and boys. So that’s also something to consider. I would say my husband has a much more “female”‘ presentation of ADHD. I think he got through life undiagnosed because much of his adhd is controlled by a high level of anxiety, possibly a crossover with ASD and OCD traits too.

Most of the people in music, film and show business have adhd, diagnosed or not. It’s very common.

There’s a lot in the point around modern life causing cognitive overload and making it worse. Everything moves so damn fast that brains already finding life difficult to navigate and having to invest energy in operating in a world designed for NT people find it even harder to cope. There is no patience or time to process and a corresponding expectation that everything will be instant. So I think ND issues are standing out more because of the environment we are in. That’s not minimising it because I’ve seen how it can impact at first hand; I would almost certainly be diagnosed AuDHD now but I had time to learn to cope, my kids (both put on a pathway to diagnosis by professionals looking at other issues so not jumping on a bandwagon) have had no such luxury.

There is a lot of diagnosis by association/social media for small, every day niggles that I reckon everyone experiences. Diagnosis is about impact not ticking off a list.

I used to be able to do this perfectly. Can't do it anymore as life has got crazier and busier. I do run a paper diary though, which I think puts me in the minority.

I do not have ADHD. I don't relate to anything in OP's original post, but I can often relate to some ADHD posts like she describes. I suspect that's autistic tendencies though. There's overlap.

Exactly. My friend who was hospitalised as a young teen with eating disorders, had been on anxiety and depression medication for her entire adult life. Very chaotic as a person. Found out she was dyslexic as an adult and then diagnosed with adhd in her mid forties. It’s all linked.