Does anyone think they DONT have ADHD?

[Frenchtoastie]

I keep seeing posts on instagram with various reasons why someone has ADHD and then hundreds of comments below reporting these people also have all of these symptoms.
Just wondering if anyone reads these and doesn’t relate to them? To me they are just part of being human, but maybe I am completely wrong and I have ADHD🤣

the posts generally include statement along these lines…

• I find it hard to get going or impossible to stop
• I can put off a tiny task for weeks but worry about it for hours but when I finally complete it it takes 5 minutes
• I can distracted and start cleaning after the shower and suddenly I’ve cleaned the whole house whilst wearing my towel
• Having a chair covered in clothes
• having multiple drinks on the go in the house
• needing a calender because if not I would forget appointments

I think for anyone thinking "What's the point of diagnosis" - maybe if they think that having a diagnosis won't make a difference to their life, that might suggest they don't have a diagnosable condition?

For me I felt I really needed a diagnosis because I could get in real trouble at work otherwise. I was having problems at work when I started seeking a diagnosis. And having a diagnosis meant that 1. I could try medication for the working day, and 2. I could ask for reasonable adjustments at work that help me to be a more productive, less troublesome employee.

Multiple channels that never switch off. The vivid dreams occasionally add a temporary new channel too.

I can't sleep without background noise and light to dull some of the internal noise. I was prescribed quetiapine to help, didn't make the slightest difference.

Do you talk to yourself? I frequently need to verbalise thoughts to bring them to the front of the queue. I love the sound of heavy, windy rain because it helps me concentrate.

@BarryKentPoet also resonate with most of your list. Especially hobbies, multiple back ups, unused stuff but keep buying and notes, notes, notes. Crossover traits.

Those things would not get anyone an adhd diagnosis obviously though. It wouldn't even get someone referred further by a gp for assessment.
They are some things that if it's to a problematic extent, it might make someone consider looking into it further I guess.

It's worth remembering that most of the traits/characteristics of adhd and other neurodiverse conditions, are things that lots of people do, but not to an extent that it is hard to live a normal life and it's genuinely disabling and it's been a lifelong thing (with evidence from childhood)

I think lots of people might self identify with many of aspects of adhd especially in periods of stress, but that's not the same as even enough to get a referall to a specialist, let alone a diagnosis. Even then, it doesn't mean that people could get treatment or help.

People you know, saying things flippantly, doesn't mean everyone suddenly has adhd.
Its common in some circles, so I think some people could be forgiven for thinking it's everyone out there, but most Workplaces I've found have been full of neurotypicals and I feel like I'm stupid or a different species almost.

If you asked me two years ago I would have agreed with you.

Now I have my daughter and I would not be surprised if she has adhd.

Honestly she is built different. I really do joke and not joke. Shes not my first child.

my other massive concern about diagnostic overshadowing is exactly this.

I’ve been really concerned that dyslexia services have been disbanded in some LEAs. Because some research showed that things like RWI helped those with dyslexia, just at a slower pace. But it doesn’t for all.

I’ve looked into lots of research around dyslexia over the year; it’s an entirely different way of processing the world. It’s why so many become engineers, designers etc. They / we think in a very different visual 3D way - which makes maths and aspects of literacy and executive function very different. They need to be taught differently.

Friends though have described severe issues getting the right support in schools for their children. Some paying for private tuition. And their children being taught alongside children with autism - the conditions are VERY different with different needs.

I think it's a condition where most people will have it to some degree but it varies in how much. I don't consider myself as having it but I find it hard to relax and sit down doing nothing. I constantly have to be on the go. During my school years I was often checked for talking too much and distracting other people. Maybe if I was in the education system now it would have been diagnosed.

What bothers me about screeners is that , do I answer with or without the things I have in place? Because throughout the years I’ve learned that a lot of things I do are wrong, and got or still getting told off for them or got in trouble so I just avoid them. It’s not that I don’t do them, it’s that I don’t put myself in a situation where I am doing it.

Basic example interrupting conversations/finishing other people’s sentences. If I’m fully engaged , I’ll do it every single time, but people don’t like that and sometimes they get really snappy that so I tend to keep silent(rather than accurately judging if there’s an actual gap in the conversation and it can be my turn to say something , even harder in a group) and zone off, fidget ,listen to my own internal monologue etc. and just dip in and out with attention/comments. Which means that I rarely do those things if I’m being accurate, but that’s because I don’t allow myself the opportunity to do it, if that makes sense.

I can procrastinate, be overwhelmed with choices and just not choose, I skip from project to project and craft to craft and leave it behind after immersing myself in it. I don't have ADHD, I'm just a person interested in trying new things, turning my hand at things in a human curious way and am an introspective risk assessing person so decisions can sometimes overwhelm my brain, but I don't shut down with it I just internally agonise over them.

My stepson and son both have it, stepson also has Autism. Stepson diagnosed in another European country where he lives/works (so it's not a UK centric problem). Not blood relatives but are similar in some respects: not "difficult" as children, did well at school, both fell to pieces at uni age, diagnosis early twenties, a few very dark post burnout years, responded well to medication, put lots of effort into self-management/self-knowledge. Eldest now 30, off the meds, in demanding job, doing fine. Younger one 24 but seems to be well on track, with some way left to go, after some bleak years.
I have a late life autism diagnosis but not ADHD, but also had a gruesome time at uni which I can only describe as an inability to live normally.
I am not medically trained and only have the experience of my own family - anecdotal and obviously dangerous to draw too many conclusions from.
But my sense is that it's really just all very delayed or different development path that might, with very careful management and therapy, resolve itself over the years if only they are allowed not to fall beyond the point from which they can get back up. And in that sense, just a variation of "normal". I think part of the problem may be that society expects everyone to function the same and gives it a label if you don't. I know I've managed to carve out what many would see as a "successful" life - happy marriage (late in life) and great career, which would totally shock anyone who knew me in my 20's (even 30's) when I presented as a chaotic mess, and not very nice. I think the challenges of being "this way" are real but can be overcome.

all my friends laugh at me, I don’t have a Calender or diary, use the mental one in my head but never forget anything 😂

I also interrupt people often. DH has called me out on it, and I now try harder to not do it. It takes effort. I do have lots of energy and am quite impatient with what I see as other people being slow.
I still don't think that makes me ADHD.

I experience most of those things, but I haven’t always. Funnily enough it’s come as my life has gotten busier and I’ve got more responsibilities resting on me! I don’t think it’s possible to have not had ADHD as a fit and healthy 22 year old living on my own in a junior job but suddenly having it now as a 41 year old married woman with a demanding full time job, DC, pets, health issues, early menopause, and an old house that always has things wrong with it 😂

I broadly agree with this.

I have none of those symptoms at all. I'm a very organised person naturally & clearly NT. However, because I'm an extrovert a few people have suggested I have ADHD. So now being chatty, silly & a bit madcap makes you ADHD? I love nothing better than sitting on my arse some days & my brain is pretty calm.

It also completely negates the very real struggles both my youngest have: both ADHD, autistic & medicated. One is at uni but needs to study from home with me helping with all executive function & be medicated to be there. The other will never live independently. It's a really hard life for them & me, & it pisses me off severely that because so many people are self-diagnosing it minimises our struggles as a family.

I’ve been diagnosed with it, and people laugh because on the outside I seem perfectly normal and seem like just a normal well dressed, well spoken and articulate person. But they don’t know the truth - I have no real education and was basically almost kicked out of school, I have multiple criminal convictions for impulsive behaviour like dangerous driving and fighting (normally trying to protect or defend people) this was in my 20s, I have almost killed myself from doing drugs and drinking excessively, I’ve also been caught shoplifting many times but have luckily never had police involvement. I have had good jobs and succeed for a period of time before everything unravels and I burn out.

My house is such a mess I never invite people over or if I do, I need to spend hours and hours cleaning and it’s very stressful.

My children never complete homework because I cannot complete homework on top of everything else I have to do. Just keeping my children clean and myself clean, fed, teeth brushed and to school is utterly exhausting. I’m barely surviving.

the worst part of all is the emotional disregulation. I explode and scream and can’t control my outbursts when I am behind closed doors, the pressure of life becomes so overwhelming I don’t know what to do. When I leave the house, I have it all together but time is limited until the mask slips and I become irritable and erratic and need to retreat to a quiet space.

This is life with ADHD and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone..

There was a thread about a woman who believed she had ADHD because sometimes she’d walk into a room and forget what she went in there for - literally something that most people do on a daily basis but she genuinely thought it was ADHD.

Agree. I'm not bothering with a diagnosis of anything either. Same age. I can manage without it and have all this time. A diagnosis would be for no reason. The only time I did consider it is when I asked my DD if she would feel less alone with her autistic diagnosis if I was to have one as well. She didn't, so I didn't bother.

I know I have dyscalculia. Again, not bothering with a diagnosis but it would have been so good to have at high school when I was getting a hard time from a teacher who thought I should be able to be top of the class, like I was in all my other subjects. I stopped taking maths as soon as I could and changed career path to avoid maths. I have enough to get by day to day and to help my children, one who also has dyscalculia. Others are maths geniuses, which they must have got from their father.

I know I would qualify for level one autistic diagnosis but aren't bothering. On the other hand, I have seen how useful a diagnosis can be in others.

It’s one of the things they ask. They ask quite a lot of things, but my point was that I have some kind of coping mechanism for most of them so the answer would be rarely. Without the things in place , it would be often or very often. Which one do I go for? Like I said before I have a lot of things in place , routines and I made my life very , very small. It’s the only way I can be functional and safe (most of the time).

My life is very big- lots of meeting new people and events- and I manage by trying harder not to interrupt and counting to ten before i say anything.

That I can do this means I don't have ADHD, I guess. Maybe a few mild traits?Like most people.

Perimenopause is the reason we make it to 40 fine....then it all collapses and the ADHD becomes significantly more impact full

Yes all that seems fairly normal to me. OH isn’t like it at all though.

I was diagnosed with Asperger’s at 30 after issues in adult education but I don’t think it would have been picked up otherwise as I’ve always just got on with it and it was my normal.
ADHD was added 20 years later but I have my doubts as I’ve known people with proper ADHD and frankly it’s a different level of hard. I always said I’d rather parent autism than ADHD.
My son is autistic and still needs quite a bit of oversight in his mid 30’s.
I’ve never needed that so I wouldn’t consider myself to have a disability.

To me they’re just labels that describe how I navigate life and have allowed me stop trying to be like others.

it explained how people who didn’t seem especially gifted or bright were able to ‘do life’ with relative ease and it explained how the same people just seemed to know how to ‘do people’ in a live situation.

I don’t tell people about my ND. Sometimes I need to in a medical setting but only if it’s relevant. My son is the same. His employer knows as he has support but otherwise no need to.

I know this is a controversial opinion but I do think it’s become just another identity label and it’s too easy to get sucked in to a victim mindset but this is nothing new and seems to happens when certain types of people find similar people.
The internet exacerbates this.

ADHD isn’t just a list of symptoms though - because of course everybody has these to a degree. It’s the severity and frequency and -crucially - consequences - of these that is the defining issue. If these ‘traits’ are having a regular, serious impact on your life - financially, personally, emotionally - then it goes beyond being ‘a bit scatty’.

The emotional deregulation is also no joke and it’s a really overlooked and misunderstood part of ADHD. If you have it, you’ll KNOW you have it, and you’ll know how debilitating it is. If you don’t, it’s easy to trivialise ADHD into a list of low-level annoying personality quirks

I don’t use a calendar. Any appointments come through as a reminder text before it. I usually have a rough idea anyway so I don’t double book

I have a few but I have been diagnosed with adhd and mild autism and everything has clicked for me.

I agree.

Also, this then ties into the benefits system and there are then people with varying levels of diagnosed ADHD entitled to benefits, when it should really be reserved for the most in need (in my opinion).

Could some of it be that we are all ridiculously busy, over-stimulated and on our phones too much (I include myself in this!) I went to watch Sense and Sensibility at the cinema last week, and it really struck me how in those days, there was so much time to sit, read, draw, walk through fields...they weren't running around like headless chickens and then binging Mumsnet on their phones every time they had a spare 5 mins!