Wedding invitation etiquette

[Ohhhhok]

We sent our 'save the dates'/informed our guests 1 year before our wedding, and we'll be sending the invitation/RSVP 4 months before, does this sound normal? We've been getting stick from 'friends' saying we don't have 'proper invitations', I don't really understand what we're doing wrong?

I think people just think there is one standard procedure that all weddings must adhere to, some people get engaged then marry just a couple of months afterwards. Not everybody plans years in advance, people can do whatever they like and I don't see an issue.

Problem with save the dates is sometimes not everyone makes the final cut. Costa spiral and the list gets cut. Personally I prefer an invite so I know where I stand.

Yes I understand, we have no intention of cutting anyone from the list, anyone who got the save the date is invited, it's a fairly low budget.

If you know all the details send them out now?

Im the same. Informed everyone when we booked the venue back in feb. Date and time. What more do they need. I was actually shocked by the reaction that I started sending invitations 3 months out from the date. Last invitation I received was a picture sent to my messenger with the time: TBC.

My invitations have been printed 3 times because there wasnt enough info on them. Apparently I needed a running Order of the day on them. To keep the peace, I reprinted, TWICE. I am sending out the last of them today and im getting married in 10 weeks. Some people have said I am so organised that invitations dont go out until 6-8 weeks before the wedding. I swear, you cant please everyone. I am in ireland

A save the date is not the same as a confirmed invitation where you get the details and can plan your travel and hotel arrangements. Some save the dates don't translate to an invitation as things can change, so really once you know the location and timings it's good to get the invitations out so people can make their arrangements, know if they have time to book a hair appointment etc. Usually invitations do come out a little earlier.

I don't think you are doing anything wrong people are just impatient. There is really no right way, My Dds didn't send save the dates but sent invites 6-8 months before.

I think 4 months is cutting it a bit fine but it depends on the information you have on the save the dates, but i still think people are a bit impatient

It depends. If you have literally just given a date on the save the date id want to be knowing more than 4 months in advance the finer detail so that I can book a hotel, sort childcare and travel etc. If you’ve provided more detail then 4 months seems fine.

We sent our save the dates 18 months before and invites a year before but that’s only because we had an abroad wedding. If we did it in the uk I would have sent official invites out 6 months before.

I think some people will want to know if they are day or evening guests, and also times- a 12noon wedding needs different arrangements to a 4pm wedding. Do they know the venue? People will just be keen to book childcare, hair appointments, hotels etc

Invites should really be with people as a minimum 6 months before if save the dates have gone out. Of course some people plan weddings with much less notice, but I think if you’ve sent out save the dates then you’ve clearly got time to allow 6 months for invitations. I’ve never heard of save the dates being sent to people who don’t then make the ‘final cut’ so wouldn’t be worrying about that!

I think this a newer issue as I don’t recall it at all when we got married 15 years ago. Same though, two family weddings (diff sides) in 2027, we all know all the details via the family but other members of the families (mainly older I will say!) have opinions that they’ve not had a formal invite. The joke being for one it’s an overnight trip, which is already booked, so it makes no difference what time the day will run to as everyone will be there already!

Idk, we told our families in person that we were getting married about two months beforehand. Texted the details. Very low key wedding.

I can't believe people send 'save the dates' and then don't invite people (not you, OP!). That's so rude.

I think four months out is fine.

So why can’t you send the invitations out sooner? I don’t understand.

I had a small wedding and it took place about four months after we'd got engaged, so I don't think anyone had more than three months notice of the date. We didn't send 'save the dates', we just sent invitations when the date and venue had been fixed.

As long as you know your essential guests are free - immediate family/best friend etc. which you can check at the time of arranging the wedding - it's up to you how much notice you give, if people can't make it, it's not the end of the world. Take no notice of people who are fussing, OP.

People do save the date while they book stuff but if it's all confirmed send the invite.

4months before sounds really close unless you are booking a last minute wedding.

What are you waiting for?

I don't think people send save the dates and don't invite people do they ?

I though 2-3 months before the wedding would be fine, but if people need to travel then maybe they need more time.

I never did Save the Dates but we organised the wedding in about 7 months.

People want to sort annual leave, childcare, hair appointments, travel, flights etc They need to know if wedding at 10am or 7pm so they can make arrangements accordingly.
if you know all the info send the invites out earlier than 4 months to go, so people know they are confirmed full-day guests and can organise themselves. I’d send now tbh, people like “proper invitations”

I think people want much more details to plan in general, since Covid.

If the details are finalised, then send the invites. I don't understand why you are waiting until 4 months before.

yep.

also - save the dates addressed to the whole family and then text to say "whoops sorry we messed up our numbers and it's now a childfree wedding"

I would probably send the invites out at least 6 months in advance so people have time to sort travel/hotel/childcare as needed.

Also a save the date can be a little ambiguous in terms of if you're invited to the whole day or just the evening reception, and again I would want people to be able to plan around that.

We sent out invitations about 3 or 4 months ahead - didn't bother with save the dates although did of course let VIPs know the date ASAP. We had a relatively short engagement.

Our invitations were electronic and included date, time, venue, rsvp details and a Web address which included all the information on travel, hotels, gift list etc.

No-one seemed to have a problem with it. I think it's insane that people send invitations out only 4-6 weeks ahead! Everyone I know would be booked up with other stuff by then!

Oh dear, that's bad.