To hate being "policed" by family

[OneNavyMerc]

AIBU to dislike online policing by family members?
I was an early adopter of Faceache in 2007, but left a couple of years later as it did nothing for me and family and friends have my phone, mobile and email.
I rejoined just before Covid because there was supposed to be a school reunion, which obviously did not happen.
I am still registered, but go there rarely, mostly to check on birthdays.
However, every time I have been on Faceache - twice in the last 6 months - a family member screenshots my message and tells me it was inappropriate.
Maybe it was, but maybe the person I sent the message to could tell me themself?

I guess it depends what your posts say?

Agreed. If everytime you post someone says its inappropriate then maybe it is.

Block that person then.

Who and what are you messaging if you’re not on there?

if you don't want people to comment on what you say, maybe don't say things on your FB wall?

a strike rate of 100% inappropriate is pretty good going

Well either:

Block/unfriend those people
Or

Reconsider your posting style

It’s not a requirement to have everyone in your life on social media with you. I have good relationships with my parents and in-laws and am not on any social media with them.

What are you posting that is considered inappropriate?

What are you writing that is deemed inappropriate

YABU to call it Faceache like you are somehow superior to those who like and use it

All I post these days is Happy Birthday.
Blocking is a good answer, if I unfriended all hell would break lose.
I will just block those family members.

Do you actually know how Facebook works? If you are messaging somebody directly you don’t put it on your wall because then everyone sees it! I see this happen so often with someone posting a random message to an individual or a review of a particular service meant to go on Their business page That ends up being visible to all and sundry.

How can wishing someone happy birthday be inappropriate? I don’t think we’re getting the full story here.

Eh? You're being told that it's inappropriate to wish somebody Happy Birthday on their birthday? That's all?

Are you joking?? 😂

You know thst you can restrict your post to specific groups?

So certain people can’t see your posts?

Well, clearly that’s not all you post 🙄

What are you posting. It clearly isn't just happy birthday.

If you think unfriending will unleash hell. Blocking is worse.

So you’re posting inappropriate things on Facebook to someone (presumably not saying happy birthday?) so that others can see? Why?

Why not send it directly to that person so nobody else can see what you’re written? You know, in a less attention seeking way?

I'm not sure how posting happy birthday can be deemed inappropriate. There must be more to what is being said than that.

The only thing I can think of is when people post happy birthday to someone who has passed away. I sometimes find that a little uncomfortable but not worth commenting on or screen shotting.

You can block anyone you want to and if you post anything you can select who sees it and who doesn't.

If unfriending would cause this level of disruption, I say, unleash the hounds!

I genuinely think a lot of people just don’t understand the privacy settings. I am in a lot of health groups on Facebook. I advise in a rare autoimmune disease one and it is very well moderated - and private. If people post in the group it doesn’t appear elsewhere or in their public page feed. If people are really concerned they can delete their posts once they’ve got the advice they need. I’ve seen so many groups recommended to me in my groups recommendations page that are completely public and either people don’t realise this or don’t care - and you’ve got people sharing all sorts on these: searchable as well! I’ve seen people posting about their marriage issues / sex issues / vaginal health etc (!) all sorts, not even anonymously. People are incredibly dense.

You don’t have to unfriend them - you can restrict what they see in your privacy settings. I have relatives who only see if I update my profile picture and nothing else ! . Much less hassle than unfriending or blocking 😁

Joking how?

What are you posting that they deem inappropriate?

Is this a serious thread, you’re genuinly trying to say you wish a friend or family member happy birthday and get told it’s inappropriate??

is these people you’re wishing happy birthday known to you, on speaking terms ?