Child responsibilities.. Should dinner be made or even started when the first parent gets home from work?

[Playinwithfire]

Last night I get home, it was around 7.30 and my youngest said mummy I'm hungry. I was confused DH had been home since 2pm and sorted HIS stuff and then he headed off to his hobby. I checked to see if they had enough dinner, then the child says we didn't get any dinner! I'm furious...

There has been a few changes and I have been very understanding that DH is trying to adjust. However, for f"*k sake... I feel like I need to still manage everything and ensure things get done. I'm asked a 100 questions daily. An I snapped last night...

I just don't get how you can go off to a hobby knowing that your children still haven't eaten however, you've made sure all the stuff he had to do was priority and very much completed.

Agree.

Forget the children (okay, not really), why the hell hasn’t he cooked your dinner when he sorted himself out. He got home at 2 and you were home after 7? I would have expected DH to cook for everyone and keep mine warm until I got home.

Useless man.

If I was at home and for whatever reason I asked my 15 year old to stick something in the oven for her and her sibling and she just didn't bother and didn't tell me she wasn't going to then I'd be annoyed about it.

Yes the dad should have ensured the 8yo was fed but he delegated the task and the 15yo ignored him. I'd be annoyed at both of them in this situation

He only asked at 7pm

And?

ALOT of "what ifs" for dad there! But zero compassion for a child...

@mrsm43s "... undermining your co-parent in front of them." Where did this come out of?

Pretty outrageous for a parent to delegate the task of cooking their 8 year olds tea to an older sibling just so they can put their feet up. Quite negligent.

Because we know the fact that the child was asked to make dinner and didn't do it, we don't know know the facts surrounding the Dad, because you've not told us them.

Perhaps the 15 year old was doing something like homework and didn't have time to do something that is not his job.

It was 'his job' as he was asked to do it by the parent. If he was unable to, due excessive homework load, he should have said that, not just ignored/disobeyed the request.

What we don't know is if the father was working from home and/ or aware then mother would be home later. Even if he wasn't working in the afternoon and did know mother would be home late, It is still quite surprising that a 15 year didn't at least ask one of their parents :what's for tea,?we getting hungry' to prompt an answer.

But it seems some PP do not think prompting as response is reasonable and that each parent should just work.out what's required at any particular time of the day. I would be interested to hear all 3 sides versions.

If it was just a case of "throwing" a pizza in the oven why didn't the father do it himself? He is the parent. It is his job.

How was the undermining done Infront of him? For a start.

The post was about the DH not making dinner like a normal parent but you've become so involved with blaming the teen for not agreeing to make the dinner at such a late time, especially as it was winding down time/super time. So the only fact is he was correcting his dad on the functionings of the household and holding him to account.

Your 15 year old is not a parent, your husband is and it's his responsibility to feed an 8 year old. He is either selfish or obtuse.

Ok, or make beans/cheese on toast, or bung some chicken nuggets and chips etc in the air fryer or make a toastie or an omelette. Whatever! A simple tea is not hard to pull together.

OP you are so right. Wild he did not make them dinner before going out. Ridiculous.

No it is the parents job to feed their eight year old because they chose to be a parent of that child. You can't just delegate parenting to other people without their agreement. The 15 year old did not choose to be a parent and it is not therefore their responsibility.

Your teen misbehaved and disobeyed your husband and you are letting him off. This is undermining your husband. Teen has learnt that he can disobey Dad and Mum sticks up for him (and has a go at Dad).

Your DH's actions weren't ideal. He shouldn't have left until he'd seen your 15 year old make or at least start to make the dinner. But there is nothing wrong in a Dad asking a 15 yo to make dinner once in a while, for whatever reason. There is something wrong with a 15 year old ignoring/disobeying the request.

By then, the weans were starving.

There has been very little mention of pizza. This poster has made that up.

Which two?

It is perfectly reasonable to ask a 15 year old to make a simple dinner for themselves and their siblings and expect them to not wilfully disobey you.

Whilst it is okay to ask an older sibling to cook tea for younger siblings they have every right to refuse. It's not their job. It's the parent's job.

You do realise that its likely it will be the eldest who will be choosing your nursing home right?

The "adult" asked him while running out the door to go to a "hobby".