Would I regret asking social services for support?

[bamboobam]

I have a 9 year old daughter who has adhd and is on the pathway to an autism assessment.
She has medication for her adhd which seems to help at school but when she gets home and it’s worn off she can have up to an hour melt down.
This affects my other child and I would like to seek help but I have heard some pretty scary stories about social services.
Would I regret getting them involved?

I would not risk it personally

They’re not going to offer much help unfortunately. Can you ask the school. Have you family who can offer to help with your other child?

I would see if you can access support any other way possible. Dla to pay for extra services / therapy / support. Really wouldn’t recommend asking SS I’ve worked with too many families of ND dc accused of FII or perplexing presentations

Contact Early help and ask for some support. They won't be wanting to remove your child, don't worry

I wouldn’t say don’t get them involved but realistically I don’t think they will do much.

I would talk to school about what support is available locally to help. Is there any young carers type things locally to help your other child?

No I wouldn’t. I’ve seen plenty of threads on here where a mother has asked for help and both children were removed - there was a thread earlier this year/last year

I am a social worker; social services only really get involved when there is a safeguarding issue. There is no harm in asking for an assessment; you will likely be referred or signposted to organisations/charities that might be able to help

You can ask but your unlikely to get any real support from Social Services in this day and age.

Nobody has had their child removed simply for asking for help.

Thanks for all that replied

Social work would be more about signposting or referring you to other organisations in this sort of scenario. And maybe a listening ear. But you might be able to find that sort of information yourself. You might find a local parent carer group just as good.

What was your DD like before the medication? Do you think a top up would help, to get her through to bedtime? Or a different medication? Neither of my children got on well with methylphenidate - there are other options.

you may not even meet the threshold for social services intervention however you may find it useful to speak to early help or the all ages disability team.(or maybe even both).

if you need some respite care there is some out there local to me (not sure if it’s nation wide) called sensational which offers some respite care on weekends (normally a few hours) where you can leave your child and have some time to just concentrate on your other child.

There will be a lot more to threads like that stop scare mongering .

I would ask for a carer’s assessment. Can you get an. Appointment with the dr who prescribed the meds? I’d also apply for an EHCP, if you haven’t already. The meltdowns could be ASD related. My eldest always said that ADHD meds made his autism symptoms more pronounced. They may need tweaking, not necessarily increasing.

Im not sure realistically what social swrvices can offer you
But you could aak for a referral to early help.

I’m not sure what they’d really do. I’d speak to your GP first and see if there’s any services that may be able to offer advice.

There is no harm in asking. You probably won't get much from them but there is no chance of children getting removed in your situation (so ignore scaremongers).

I mean you can try. I begged SS for help for 3 years. Me and my children were living in terror, being assaulted daily, my house was smashed to pieces. They took my other children out for respite for an hour a week. When I had a breakdown I begged them to put my child into foster care. They didn’t. Things are thankfully much better now and weirdly we get a lot more meaningful help from SS. Mostly because child is able to access help outside the home.
It’s worth a go. Have an idea of what help you could use. They’re not taking children away from good parents (even when they ask them too!)

I would find your local autism organisation and ask them for help, far better than social services which unfortunately at this point is all about safeguarding over support (blame the cuts)

Sorry, to add, I’m not sure where you are but in Scotland it would be a CHAD (children affected by disability) social worker you should request.

Can you get a medication review? Often a final afternoon dose can help. My DS had awful come down meltdowns on methelphenidate so he now has 3 x dexamphetmine across the day which keeps him very even until bedtime. Also adding a non stimulant might help with afternoon ness.

Not for this sort of thing. The last thing SS want to do is remove kids for having a melt down.

No you have not seen 'plenty of threads' where mothers have their children removed after asking for help.

You can request a carer’s assessment for you and an assessment of DD’s needs. On their website, Contact has model letters you can use. You will have to push for support. Sadly, too many have to fight for it. Social care involvement for families with disabled DC is not limited to safeguarding. Contact has a booklet that explains more about the role when there are disabilities involved. DC will not be removed just because you request assessments/support.

You could also look at your local short breaks offer. There may not be anything suitable for DD, but it is worth looking.

I would speak to the school as well. What support is DD receiving at school? Does she have an EHCP? Some of what DD experiences could be the coke bottle effect. Home life will be easier if school life was easier (even if DD appears ‘fine’ in school).

Have you discussed a top up dose of ADHD medication? Some find this helps with the come down. Some also find switching to non-stimulants helps with this problem more.

It’s understandable to feel concerned, but seeking support is a positive step towards meeting both your children’s needs. Consider speaking with your daughter’s ADHD clinician about medication wearing off, and exploring early help services for family support without assuming social services involvement is inevitable.