To be feeling like the whole house is an office because of endless meetings?

[Shatteredglasses]

I am slowly but surely losing my mind with never having the house to myself, honestly. DH started working from home permanently last year. It was presented to me as a good thing (I’ll be done with work much earlier, be able to help more with the kids) but it’s just turned the house into an office. Half term is coming up and it feels very suffocating. I can’t do basic things like hoover or have music playing or friends over. It’s starting to get me down a bit tbh.

I haven’t said anything in my OP that is untrue. I’m not sure I like the implication.

If he does meetings on Teams, Zoom there is backgeound noise cancellation so the others in the meeting won't hear it and if he is using head phones it is fine.

Well what has he said when you’ve said ‘DH I love you but this WFH thing is doing my head in’?

He says how great it is. It is - for him!

If he has his own space, thats great. Get him a sign that says in meet, or need quiet or something similar. When it's showing, you don't hover, when it's not you do what you like.

Have your Thursday after, depending on how many you might be hosting 1 in 3 or 1 in 6. Get him to work in an office, or a cafe, or a pub or the car when it's your turn.

Offices are never quiet. I work hybrid and it's always much noisier in the office than it is at home. Nobody would expect silence.

I can’t do basic things like hoover or have music playing or friends over. It’s starting to get me down a bit tbh.

You said this, which implies he's said you can't do those things, which isn't true. You then posted later that the problem was yours and not his, which is a different slant on the issue.

Right…but that’s only the beginning of the conversation.

Does he know how it is for you?

Could you compromise by him using a co-working space for a few days a week, for example?

I feel your pain. Dp has worked from home since 2020 and works from the dining table in our small house (we have no spare room or space to turn into a study, and can’t afford to move or extend). It’s ok in term time, but in the school holidays I find it hard too (I’m a teacher, and we have two kids). We can’t use the dining table in the daytime, there are constant online meetings with him talking loudly about databases which can be heard all over the house even with doors shut, but the worst thing is I feel like I can’t just relax and do what I like. It’s definitely not the same as having the house to yourself, even with the kids there - I feel like I should always be doing housework, DIY etc and not just sitting around. We try to go out as much as possible in the holidays but then he gets upset if we go out to nice places without him (understandably I suppose - he was blissfully unaware what we were up to when he used to go to an office to work). I’m not sure what the answer is - but you’re not alone.

Partner has worked from home for years and it does drive me mad sometimes. Hearing rhe talking and laptop ringing constantly used to really get me down. Now I make sure hes secluded to the bedroom all day so I havent got to hear it. I work from home alot too, but my role isnt based on talking all day so it doesnt intrude on anyone else's peace ot daily living. I really like the days that he goes to the office so that I get the house to myself without the sight of a laptop or hearing talking all day.

Yes; do you say anything back when he tells you how great it is?

Pretty much.

OP am I right in thinking you've not had a conversation with him about this, and if so what do you think would happen if you did?

@Shatteredglasses on Teams the other attendees won’t hear your hoover and if your DP wears headphones neither will he? Then you can play music or hoover.

Why don’t you soundproof the room instead of slagging him off?

Tricky one. If he would waste a lot of money and time on travelling to work, and the commute is stressful, it seems a no-brainer that he works from home. But if the commute is short, not too expensive etc, I would be having a discussion about him working in the office again either full-time or at the very least some of the time. My DP worked from home for a while and I hated it. It does turn your house into an office and it's crap. Who wants to be forced into listening to bloody Teams meetings?! I feel your pain, OP.

I disagree. I wfh on the day our cleaner comes. It doesn’t bother me at all her hoover outside the room. I just shut the door. I tend to be on lots of teams meetings or calls and it doesn’t affect that.

I work at home in a tiny house with thin walls and I know it can be difficult for my family so I organise my meetings to make sure I am not in a call after 3pm and I keep one day meeting free so they can have people round, is that something he could do?

My husband does this, I have to frequently remind him 'it's my home'. He takes over the dining room and sits with his work face on (ie chewing a wasp)...it makes the atmosphere in the house gloomy.

I think yout husband might be breeching an employment contract. I work from home with business travel. The requirements for home working is a secure study and no disturbance - so no children shouting in the background etc. We are absolutely not allowed to be doubling up by looking after elderly, dealing with pets, hoovering, coping with loud children.

This is definitely not right. Surely some of his work is confidential?

ExDP used to work from home every day. He insisted on working on the living room, often with the TV on. I hated it.

Again, shouldn’t be at the dining table. His contract is likely to state ‘enclosed space suitable for taking calls and having meetings’. The dining table is not compatible.

Is there the option for him to rent shared space occasionally?

so half terms, during times when you want the toddler groups?

It’s not unworkable but will require creativity and maybe an adjustment of mindset from both sides.

I can’t stand it when my husband is around all the time. At one point he would set up in the kitchen - I stopped that very quickly. But when he dues work at home I get so much less done. Plus I do experience it psychologically as an intrusion upon my space and time - rationally or otherwise. You want to have fun howling chats with friends - often talking about other halves

I would be normal and disturb the hell out of him and see if I couldn’t drive him back to the office.

Why is it ‘likely’ to state that?

It’s very dependent on the business isn’t it. My last three jobs have been with small/newish/start up companies and that sort of thing just isn’t a priority early on.

A big corporate, maybe. But there’s a lot of companies in between those extremes too.

Can you afford : have you got space for a garden office?