To be feeling like the whole house is an office because of endless meetings?

[Shatteredglasses]

I am slowly but surely losing my mind with never having the house to myself, honestly. DH started working from home permanently last year. It was presented to me as a good thing (I’ll be done with work much earlier, be able to help more with the kids) but it’s just turned the house into an office. Half term is coming up and it feels very suffocating. I can’t do basic things like hoover or have music playing or friends over. It’s starting to get me down a bit tbh.

He isn’t saying a word about it. Probably sounds horrible but it’s not that we’re bothering him it’s more he’s bothering us.

I can empathise. I have a nightshift worker and someone else WFH. The place is a tip most of the time.

If you can’t put him in a bedroom could you have a garden room/insulate your garden shed a bit @Shatteredglasses ? So he is not in the same space as you? A bedroom could be insulated a bit more and if tight on space, a fold down desk area or one of those fancy convertible beds? If he is staying in this role it’s worth spending a bit to make it work.

I think I would take as many of the practical suggestions here on board as possible, and then after that I WOULD play music, vacuum and make other normal house noises. Definitely have friends over! You cannot live like this permanently. He may have no issue with it. Great. If he does, you can discuss jointly how to solve the problem. Right now, you have a problem and he doesn’t, Solve your problem and see.

I was used to having the house to myself but then DS switched to WFH full time (no choice). He worked in his bedroom with the door shut and only popped out for loo breaks and lunch. I always warned him if there was going to be something noisy happening (eg workman with a drill) but other than that i just cracked on as normal.
Now DS has moved out and DH is retired. That really is an invasion of my space!

Possible office in the garden? It doesn’t have to be fancy - a glorified shed with electricity.

DH would occasionally WFH in the days before it was common. Unfortunately although he had told his colleagues he didn't tell me until the day itself so I anything I had planned had to be changed so it was quiet. Got worse once he retired and joined every committee he could so loads of pseudo WFH and piles of papers, forms, files and documents everywhere.

I couldn't cope with this, I work from home and a door is required! Whether this is an office, spare bedroom or study door or even just a cupboard where all the kit lives. Work is work, and home is home and there need to be clear boundaries! Your husband is taking the P!

My DH WFH but is shut away in the spare room.
If I ever feel it intrudes into our lives ie he is working late and moans about our daughters noise, my saying is ‘you work from home, we don’t live at your work’. That always resets him into remembering it is our home first.

The problem is more at my end, he’s behind a shut door and doesn’t complain about me but he’s just here all of the time. Maybe that’s unfair but it does affect things.

Just ignore him and go about your day. DH and I have both WFH for about 20 years now. We raised our child while WFH. Life just goes on in the house.

Unless it is an incredibly rare and critical meeting, we never ask for special silence.

You shouldnt be hearing everything with the door closed.when DH or I are working from home the other person barely sees them.

Can you rethink layout, if hes in a downstairs study would an upstairs spare room work better? Or a garden office room?

How is it any different to when you are both home on the weekends?

Can he use a coworking space one or 2 days a week? Some places offer a monthly pass for 10 days per month. It’s about £80-140 a month but it could be worthwhile to give you some space to have friends over etc.

You've said this in your OP

"I can’t do basic things like hoover or have music playing or friends over."

But then in your subsequent posts you appear to be saying it's fine?

If he has his own space away from the family during the day, just go about your day to day life

Put the music on, have friends round and let him crack on. Tune him and the fact he is working out.

If he then complains, then he needs to come up with a solution that doesn't stop the house being a home, but at the moment, it does sound like he is out of the way in a home office and not taking over communal areas.

None of your responses are making sense op.

you need to tell us ‘why’ you can’t do basic things like hoover or have music playing or friends over , since you’ve said he’s behind a shut door and fine with it.

If he has is own designated room as his 'home office', with the door closed, that sounds like a standard WFH

Sounds like its more you feel his workplace is permeating the home - amplified by the fact you can hear him with the door closed, which indicates a potential soundproofing solution needed?

As long as he's not sending you all a meeting invite for dinner time, requiring a 10 minute ppt, including pie chart, on the best way to eat apple crumble and then complaining no-one is accepting the invite

Just go about your day as you would but be mindful of very loud noises. Surely you can invite your friends around, hoover and play music (but maybe at a lower volume than you might usually do).

Because he’s not working then? Sorry if that’s stating the obvious.

@arethereanyleftatall it would disturb him if I hoovered or had music playing. With friends over it’s just really awkward as he can hear us and we can hear him.

I dunno I suppose I just feel like the house isn’t really ‘ours’ any more. Maybe that doesn’t make any sense, just how I feel.

If normal household noise would disturb him op, then either he gets headphones or working from home should never have been an option.

To be fair I think most people would struggle to be in a meeting with a hoover going outside!

Why don’t you get a job out of the house and solve the problem

You're saying the problem is about him bothering you, and also that it would disturb him if you played music. How do you know, have you tried?

Definitely find this too. Plus, office politics are tedious when it's your own office. When it's someone else's, pass me the arsenic. Do I care that Tanvir is not pulling his weight and that legal and compliance are a load of jobsworths who don't understand practical application of the product? No. No, I do not.