Does anyone else dislike splitting the bill?

[Savedbythebell36]

Unless you've had something very similar and the price difference is pennies.
I went out with a group of friends the other week, I don't drink alcohol and most of them do. I had a starter as a main course, and two diet cokes.
It came to £33 each when splitting, even though my starter was i think £8.99 and two cokes around £8 in total.

That included a tip, but that would've meant me leaving a £16 tip which sounds extreme. I wish I'd spoken up really, next time I will but you're labelled as 'tight' if you do that. I asked them to confirm again, and nobody said 'you've only had a starter/soft drinks whereas we had more.'

It does put me off going sometimes but I suppose if your friends call you tight/cheapskate then they aren't real friends? I'm on more of a budget too.

I'm on Mounjaro so also have a starter as my main and only drink water.

Yeah me. I much prefer it when the other person pays the full amount.

Good for you. I wish id been like you at that age.

Tell your waiter/ess that you want your own bill. Job done

It depends on the group I am with @Savedbythebell36 one lot are fair (as I am) and we always allow for those who don’t drink or always drive and so on. I don’t mind a couple of quid here and there but I really don’t like it in one other group where I’ve been caught out and my share would have been £25 and I ended up paying £40. So now I speak up plainly. Most people don’t think it is tight in the kind of example you and I mentioned? And if they do, they’re not friends. I also speak up for others even if I’m the one who’s had more expensive stuff. I’ve said ‘deduct that before splitting the bill as it was my expensive choice and I’ll add it to my share’ and also
I’ve said ‘so and so shouldn’t pay xyz so take
off their share first and then split’ so I think everyone knows I am happy to pay my way but adjust when appropriate.

We usually split or take turns to pay for dinner and happy with either, but that’s having a similar spend.

In your situation however I would speak up and as this is the norm, say going forwards I will just pay for what I’m having plus obviously tip and services charges etc.

Savedbythebell36 I’ve had a gastric bypass so only eat starters, even one of those will fill me up & I don’t drink alcohol so yes I always pay for myself after a big mistake a few years ago!

I have a lovely group of friends l only meet a few times a year. I'm a coeliac and often there is no starter or dessert l like so only a main course and no wine as l don't drink.The others go the full thing. One will say let's all pay our own but then the others say: not at all let's split and l end up paying 40 for just my ..often not great mains. No one notices and l hate mentioning it. Luckily l can afford it..we all have the same income so l take the hit but if it was anyone else in the group l would notice and say it. I feel the tone of the evening would change if l became petty and mentioned money .

If I am splitting with someone who clearly had less then I won’t do an even split and will put in more. The bigger the group, the harder that is to notice or organise though. There’s also those who claim they had a loss less and calculate their actual but leave out the starter or chips or bottle of water etc that were for the whole table and that they had a lot of.

I would also be a bit annoyed if it felt like I had to order less than I want as someone else isn’t even ordering a proper meal - just ordering a starter only is fine in a bar where eating isn’t necessary but cheeky in a restaurant. The restaurant likely wouldn’t be happy about it if others aren’t eating so you would actually be subsidised by the others.

Totally agree, the same with drinking. I’ve got friends who drink double spirits with a mixer on a night out while I’m on half a cider so I just stay out of rounds now.

If we eat out with friends and family we are happy to split the bill if it’s similar amounts (usually is) but if I spot someone else could end up paying more than their share I’ll pipe up on their behalf. Your friends are very rude!

Yeah when the waitress comes to order yours just say can you put mine on a separate tab please. If anyone dares ask you why just say I’m not drinking tonight. If they call you a cheap skate just don’t go out with them again they aren’t your friends

@latetothefisting

Perhaps it's a generational thing, it's very rare amongst anyone I know under 40 to split.

I was talking to DS (24) about this the other day. He says his friend groups never buy rounds or split meal costs, they always buy their own drinks independently and prefer to use apps to order food so they can pay separately. So, yes, it does seem to be a generational thing - doing that would have appeared rude back in my socialising days a few decades ago!

Next time you say ‘I’m not drinking and only having a starter so I’ll stay on my own’.

Or order separately via their app?

How’s it different to a group of 3 taking a table for 4 or a group of 7 taking a table set for 8?

Restaurants never have every seat/place taken. A single drink and starter is still better than an empty setting.

It is quite possible for restaurants to keep track of who orders what if they want to. I went to Slovakia 20+ years ago for a competition. After the first night the hotel quite easily managed separate bills for everyone except myself and DH who got a joint one.

I always pay my own bill. I'm upfrint about it at the planning and arranging stage. I just say,id live to come but i can only afford to pay my own and dint wantbto split the bill.

i dont drink and I can't afford to pay for other people to get pissed. Also, i budget and eat what I can afford to eat and drink. We are all in different financial positions.

Yup, the off the shelf restaurant softwares have it built in to split billing.

Even if they are still pad and pen, it can be done, just takes a little longer on the calculator.

Main thing is to tell them upfront so they can allocate when you order.

Splitting the bill is fine. Splitting it equally when people haven’t had equal amounts is not.

as others have said - say upfront or at bill time say you’ve only XYZ and this is what you’ll pay. Or just get a separate bill.

if they call you names and try to humiliate you then they’re not friends are they?!

The people who are tight are the ones refusing to pay for what they’ve consumed. Obviously.

You need to speak up at the beginning. Tell the waiter you’ll need a separate bill. Tell your friends this is because you won’t be drinking.

Do NOT leave it to the end then try to negotiate with people who’ve people who’ve been drinking. Everyone just wants to wrap-up the evening and go home feeling happy. Instigating a niggly discussion at that point IS unreasonable.

I would rather just split for the ease. But I try to say - Jane didn’t drink alcohol, or if I think I’ve had more I put a bit more in, etc. I’m happy to agree to however anyone wants to split. I’d rather overpay than faff with a bill.

If people want to just pay for what they had they just need to jump in and say “here’s mine” (no one thinks this is tight - they just want you to get the amount right) then anyone else can split what’s left. The worst is when the individual payers don’t put enough in service/tip etc and you have to re-jig the maths.

I don’t drink or eat meat and I tend to just split the bill or (in my family) just one person just pays, regardless of if some people have been having steaks or alcohol or whatever. I much prefer it to fussing around getting the phone calculators out. Also if someone says oh I just had xx and leaves the exact money, say if they are leaving early, it never adds up, for some reason the last person is always left with the service charge or even worse the sales tax if the restaurant adds it after.
if one person points out they had less then that’s fine and people can take account of it but I don’t see why people should be responsible for other people’s eating and drinking. Calling people a cheapskate is rude.

I would wouldn't care what they said tbh, but if I were to retort...and I definately would, I would reply "so you're calling me cheap, but you're the one/s trying to get me to pay the lion share of your meals, so that YOU get yours CHEAPER! Who's the cheapskate here???

But this is silly, you've already had the perfect opportunity to agree with whoever initially suggested paying for your own, you didnt even have to raise it yourself. If at least 2 of you prefer to pay for your own why did the person piping up to say split it get the deciding vote?

I don't get people like you who expect their friends to keep track of who ate what. Nobody does that! If you only see each other a few times a year you're too busy catching up to remember who had a starter and who ordered cocktails rather than beer. At some point you cant blame everyone else if you dont just stand up for yourself. These are supposed to be your friends, if you honestly think they would judge you for paying for yourself that doesnt say much about your relationship.