To start a Go Fund me for my ex Husband?

[Hesadick]

Money must be so tight for him poor man.

I just had the CMS calculation through and he apparently only earns £18k a year.

The extra cruelty for him is that he is working so hard that he regularly couldn't have the children at the last minute because of work, leaving me cancelling my plans.

And out of that £18,000 a year he is somehow financing a £40000 car he recently purchased and extensive renovations to his house. He doesn't come from a family with any money so he must be really struggling to manage his financial commitments.

I can't decide between a food bank referral or a Go Fund me....

for the avoidance of doubt I left him because he was abusive so I know I shouldn't be surprised.

And I work in a very full time job myself but he contributes nothing to the costs of the children other than his CMS amount

😂😂😂

I'm sorry you have to deal with him... 💐💐💐

It’s disgusting. My ex did exactly this. Worked for the family business - house and £££ car paid for. On paper to the CMS he worked full time and earned about £2 an hour.

Mine works in a industry that is notoriously "cash in hand". The kids talk about his big envelopes of money he keeps in his bedroom

Sounds like mine!! Poor thing was only earning £675 a month - so low he wasn’t even paying tax.

I didn’t give him the satisfaction - instead built myself and now earn double the average salary. The kids want for nothing, they know their Dad has done nothing for them. So in the end - I won.

My children's father paid the absolute minimum by law for years, not enough to even pay school fees. I struggled on and eventually married the kindest and most loving stepfather the kids could dream of.
Moved to the UK and ex thought all his Christmases had come at once. Stopped paying but lives in millions worth of house, 4x4, 2 1300cc motorbikes etc.
I waited years and eventually my opportunity came.
He forgot that he agreed in our divorce to pay for all higher education. Both kids did Dctorates ....9 years in uni each. He tried to weasel out of it, so I hired a "previously disadvantaged female attorney"... the best kind in South Africa.
Next day his bikes and 4x4 were taken away and held as security. He caved in and paid the lot !!!
I love 3rd world law....when it works it works.

Mine was dragging in 10k+ a week

(cash in hand and not in any way was a penny legal)

Refused to pay a penny for them and then gave up seeing them (it was all about spite and controlling me)

I never said a bad word about him to them but it's all my fault that as adults,they didn't walk the 3 miles to his house and fall at his feet while weeping about what a fab dad is was

Csa didn't want to know at the time-he lived on fresh air but drove a smart and expensive van and went on four 5* holidays a year

Apart from when he went to prison for 7 of those 16 years-they can't pay anything for their kids then (dd was 2 when we broke up,until she was 18)

If id have pulled the same stunts,id have been in the cell next to him-for longer (and id have been branded a terrible mother by the press)

Who knew that kids don't need feeding and clothing for years on end?

Oh,but we should feel sorry for him as just before he got sent down,he had his jaw broken

Well he must be starving while driving his new car, which is dangerous. So a food bank referral makes more sense. He might just spend any GFM credit on the house renovations instead.

Thoughts and prayers

I never know how much I should shield my kids from the truth or be honest with them.
I have worked my way up the career ladder (despite his regular failures to have them on "his" days at short notice) but while I am proud of that I am tired of watching him afford holidays and home renovations while I am scraping by despite frantically juggling parenting and work

Aww poor guy! He has to live in a run down shack and has to cancel seeing the DC last minute, because his housing situation is so poor.

And honestly 40k on a new ego extension is hardly expensive! He needs this to feel like a man.
You should be more compassionate and definitely set up the go fund me page.

💐So sorry you are dealing with this. Hopefully his carma will catch up soon.

A fair amount of these guys are in the trades too banging on about anyone claiming any benefits at all - got fed up in Majorca listening to them bigging up their 4 holidays a year supported by their gangsters molls who don’t give a shit so long as they are bringing home the bacon . Be careful if married to one of these types as they will be more than happy to shaft you and pretend they are earning next to zilch

Ah diddums! He's earning below minimum wage (if full time).

My ex put all his finances in his dw's name to avoid the £13.50 a month for our 3 x dc..

Haha I think we were married to the same man! Mine also is earning a pittance (not even minimum wage) while simultaneously working far too much to have his children regularly - ‘poor dad has to work loads if not he’d see us more’.
But yes ‘poor dad’ also has a brand new car on finance and a new vehicle for work and 3 ‘hobby cars’. But in the 7 years we’ve been split has never once taken his children on holiday or had them for longer than 2 nights at a time!

oh and edit too add, when I asked him why if he was earning so little (so therefore not working much) could he not spend more time with his children, he ‘needed to look after his mental health’

I would give to a go fuck himself fund ☺️

I'll donate coal.
They are so shameless ☹️

So should be very very easy to report him to HMRC then should it not?

How often is he with them?

I am going to try and do so again. Last time he pulled this stunt to this extreme they weren't interested in investigating but hopefully the landscape has changed a bit since then

Sadly they turn a blind eye to so much cash in hand work. It's rife in DH industry.

He should have them 3 nights a week based on the court order he pushed for. In reality he has them about once a month

I’d send an anonymous message to HMRC… sure they’d be interested to know he doesn’t pay tax

From what you say…. There is a wealth of evidence.

Poor man ...I can chip in a tenner 🤔😀😁

Do they even want to see him once a month?