To start a Go Fund me for my ex Husband?

[Hesadick]

Money must be so tight for him poor man.

I just had the CMS calculation through and he apparently only earns £18k a year.

The extra cruelty for him is that he is working so hard that he regularly couldn't have the children at the last minute because of work, leaving me cancelling my plans.

And out of that £18,000 a year he is somehow financing a £40000 car he recently purchased and extensive renovations to his house. He doesn't come from a family with any money so he must be really struggling to manage his financial commitments.

I can't decide between a food bank referral or a Go Fund me....

Aah yes, my ex went back to university just to try and avoid CM. Before that he also worked long long hours, so couldn’t have his children ever, and yet didn’t earn enough to pay CM.
He needs his multiple holidays a year, because I “make it difficult” for him to see the children, due to my unreasonable insistence on a regular routine, so he needs to destress…

I’ve not RTFT but I wish ‘cash in hand’ could somehow be cracked down on. VAT avoidance/undercutting honest traders is bad enough but CMS dodging is despicable.

These men, £18000 is quite generous for a CMS income declaration. Mine said he earned 1p a year 🤣🤣His arrears were massive when the system (pushed by me) caught up with him.
The CMS really does need an overhaul, it fails so many kids by allowing these specimens the opportunity to lie.

Why do HMRC and CMS do nothing at all about this? We’re always hearing stories in the news about Janice’s £400 per month benefit fraud and how terrible it is but never about all these self-employed tradesman who tell HMRC and CMS they earn a fiver a month despite working full time. HMRC and the CMS just seem to give them a nod and a wink.

I’ve reported my child’s deadbeat dad to both HMRC and CMS numerous times. They don’t care! If a man says he earns nothing, we must take him at his word and say no more about it. How he’s paying rent, bills, feeding, and clothing himself, and paying for a car is nobody’s business.

No one cares about all the tax that isn’t being paid. I dread to think how much it is even a week, never mind a year! No one cares about the mothers who are struggling. No one cares about the children who are having to miss out on things.

I swear there must be a handbook that is passed around titled “How to avoid paying child maintenance and being a dad”

1. If your a tradesman well done only accept cash in hand but do t forget you only earn 12k a year.
2. Get current gf to have a business in her name! You are only employed earning £100 pw.
3. A nice swanker car Audi bmw etc is really brilliant for your mental health, because your ex was crazy.
4. Dont spend time with kids (it costs money, and you remember you don’t have any) also mental health reasons (hangover, on a come down from coke)
5. Go and do a course!!. This is especially great as the dwp get of your back (which is really hurting bad and the reason why you claim) cms you might have to pay £7 which honestly they ain’t gonna be chasing mate.
6. Block ur ex on all social media, she don’t have to know shit, and she will grass you up.
7. Any problems contact r hotline www.best dad ever. Com Tuesday-Thursday after 5 cause we r working hard. Weekends are for pubs footie etc and Facebook brags - only topless photos with a beer and sunglasses. Love all from Iama w anker.

Agree. All this attacking disabled people and single mums but just a complicit silence about the CMS and tax evasion by the "cash in hand" industries

Why do HMRC and CMS do nothing? Because the skills and time required to run a multi-discipline investigation that doesn’t benefit a single man - only women and children - aren’t worth their time. This is a clear vote winner amongst women. But even MPs raised by single mums don’t stand on this wicket because they’d lose the male vote.

Do you know if he is working on a long term project? Where it would be impossible for him to be earning only £18k a year as it would be below minimum wage?

I don't know about a handbook,but there are loads of websites telling men (and the odd woman) how to get out of paying for their children

I know-my ex would quote and then laugh about it

He owes thousands and doesn't give a fuck

If id said 'fuck this,I'm not paying for my dc' id be in prison as the 'world's worst mum'

Him doing the same thing doesn't even get a blink of an eye

His own family supported him while squeezing every penny out of his sisters ex-apparently that was 'different'

Something needs to give but it won't as it's 'only' women and children that suffer

I hope he gets burgled (but not when the kids are there of course)

I wouldn’t normally wish that on someone but I genuinely want that for him 😄

Not for him to be the victim of any violence whilst they’re there but just all his envelopes of money gone and maybe a turd or two on the floor.

I don’t understand why CSM can’t employ sufficient people to track this kind of shyster down. It’s dreadful.

I managed to find where my ex lived (find my iPhone on dd phone we track each other) cms couldn’t trace him there, no shit Sherlock, everything is in her name. Are they that densely stupid, of course they use every trick in the book to go off radar.

Like op said earlier about it’s ok when it’s someone else being chased just not them. I found the only time we received any maintenance was when he has with a lady who had kids and she was chasing maintenance. Alternatively if he had just started a relationship (he is a hobosexual) he would make some payments . Go figure!

Your daughter went to her father’s and you had no idea where he lived?

My ex and I split up over 30 years ago when dd was 1. Back then, any maintenance paid was taken from the income support I was on so it was not really any use! He, however, paid one month's worth then, horrified he was expected to pay every month, he gave up working legitimately and made a tidy sum in the er....pharmaceutical selling business.
I never saw another penny.

Sounds like my brother, he doesn’t see why he should give his ex anything, she gets child benefit for the kids, I’m not to sure how much child benefit is now, but he thinks it should pay for everything (it a bit like the mumsnet chicken that should feed a family of 6 for a week).

I wish that the government would crack down on the child maintenance payments - would certainly be one way of sorting out the benefits bill. (This isn’t a negative comment on people receiving the benefits but I just think they the father’s should be paying, not the government).

Other countries can refuse to let the father leave the country if it shows he owes maintenance which I think is a great idea. It definitely needs a better system.

I think she has tried. He like so many others claims benefits and works cash in hand so he paid very little The last time I heard he was paying something stupid like £20 a week. He now out of the country, back packing round the world. It’s for his mental health (so my mum says). Dont get me started on the responsibility to his kids. No idea if he still get benefits or is paying any CMS. I don’t speak to him.

My other brother had his ex leave him, with the two kids they had. My parents go on about her, how awful she is not looking after her kids, she doesn’t work etc etc. they don’t see how it’s the same thing.

Unfortunately if he is self employed it is relatively easy to manipulate the earnings figures. He must be getting paid in dividends or something. Ask CMS to double check what's being declared. Given he has apparently enough income to secure car finance but not fund his children properly.

Yes! Very much so. He was employed (PAYE) all the time we were together. He switched to self employed a couple of years after we split.

(Edited to add- in the couple of years he was employed after we split he still used to try and wiggle out of paying me by just not sending the money some months. He would tell CMS he couldn't afford it and they would let him delay. But in that same month he would take the kids to Disney /go on a weekend away with friends).

Thats below minimum wage if he is working full time.