Ultimate Betrayal

[Mufasa1992]

Been bugging me for a while so here we go.

My wife had her graduation this summer, was so proud of her and all the work she put in. I paid for her gown and graduation photos (solo photo and 1 family photo).

because she’s picked an early morning slot - with travel and the kids it was going to be tight us all making it. So we agreed if me and kids missed pre ceremony photos (wife was driving with parents and siblings) we’d take family photos after the ceremony. To get there on time me and kids needed to set off at 08:00 and with kids being very young the intention was never for us to go into ceremony with it being 90 mins. They’d disrupt the whole thing.

well you guess it we didn’t make it out until after 9, then with driving around for ages looking for parking we just arrived at the end of the ceremony in time to take family photos after.

this was a disaster kids were hungry and in tears in all the photos not looking forward the lot.

fast forward to a few days later and we get to see the photos to choose which ones to order. And the wife has taken beautiful happy photos with her parents and siblings prior to me and kids arriving.

I feel totally betrayed

me and kids were only there for 15 mins despite us being stuck in the car for 2.5 hrs to take photos.

we’ve obviously argued and part of me feels guilty for putting a stain on her big day but the other half thinks why would you take photos without us knowing you that only one family photo could be chosen to purchase.

think it hurts more that’s without us shes got a lovely family photos and with me and the kids she’s got a very messed up unhappy photos.

YABU - she never intended to buy photos without us knowing you and kids and was just indulging herself.

YANBU- yeah she stabbed you in the heart, back and everywhere else. She shouldn’t have taken the photo even if the intention was never to buy.

I think your polls might be the wrong way round but YABU to make your wife's graduation about yourself. How old are you??

I was anticipating a more exciting ultimate betrayal to be honest.

Wow! I see someone was already even ruder than me!

What on Earth have I just read?

You couldn't manage to be on time for photos and you're saying your wife has 'stabbed' you by taking a family photo with her family?

Oh yeah but well done for paying for her gown, that's the important thing. ffs.

Why do you say you ‘obviously’ argued? That’s a choice. Why not just take more photos with someone’s phone or camera if it was important? I don’t say this to be combative, I just don’t get it. This was your wife’s big day. They’re just photos. It sounds like your journey was stressful, I do get that. But it’s a separate issue.

Stabbed you in the back, heart and everywhere else 😂😂😂😂😂.
mumsnet trolls are on absolute fire today. This isn’t as good as the woman who thought her 17 year old shouldn’t like porn because he’s academic but it was a good giggle

your wife worked really hard to earn her degree. Your one job on the day was to get yourself and the kids there on time to take a photo. This means probably getting the kids up a bit earlier than normal and hitting the road in plenty of time. Taking snacks or stopping along the way if this means you can’t have breakfast at home. You cocked up this simple and reasonable ask and showed up late with hungry tired angry kids, now you’re throwing a strop because she took some nice pictures with her parents. You sound like a useless twat.

I thought you might have found out she was shagging your brother.

Oh Mufasa, I hope this isn't true. Otherwise you're a dick and your DW deserves so much better than you!

So, you left an hour late, missed her important ceremony, didn’t feed the kids breakfast or give them any time to let off steam after the drive and therefore turned up with the kids upset and fractious. And SHE’S the unreasonable one?

I agree with what previous posters said. 'obviously' argued? Nope. Stabbing and ultimate betrayal?

Don't give it a moment of thought, it's fine.

Plot hole though - surely the kids would have been crying in their photos whether your wife had taken photos earlier or not?

Christ almighty, make it all about you! It was your wife’s graduation. You couldn’t be bothered getting yourself and your DCs there on time. You’re now angry with her because she’s chosen a photo that you aren’t happy with. Stop being a drama llama and be proud of your wife’s achievements.

For the record, “ultimate betrayal” would be your wife sleeping with your brother, not buying a photo without your permission.

The only graduation photos we’ve ever bought were of the person graduating on their own

People have to get young kids out the house much earlier than 9 every day of the week. Why didn’t you make sure that happened? Why were the children hungry? Had you not given them sufficient food?

All this over some photographs. Man alive.

Oh dear Mufasa.

You fucked up by not managing the not at all huge job of getting there to cheer your wife's fantastic achievement.

Her family got there, celebrated her success and got in the picture.

You have let your wife down. Not the other way round you absolutely self centered narcissist

Horrible language, especially towards someone you don’t even know. Reported.

I am not usually as cynical as other Mners. But this one I really think must be a wind-up. If it isn't, then I'll demonstrate my age by asking what the world is coming to.

This thread is entitled 'The Ultimate Betrayal,' but I'm reading about missing some photographs!?

Come on, I expected some infidelity at least!

Oh, and yes, this.

If your kids are very young you'd have done better to have someone mind them for the day (your parents?) and gone on your own so you could join in the family photo. You were never going to get good photos of the little ones if they were hungry and restless after a long drive. You were setting yourself up for failure.

Calling this situation the "ultimate betrayal " is way OTT.

It's wrong she prioritised them over you. No way would have driven with my parents/siblings instead of spouse and kids.

What did Andrew Tate say about it OP?