Selling inherited house when sibling living in it

[Dutchhouse14]

Our DM passed away a few months ago and her will divides everything equally between me and my 2 siblings.
Im the sole executor.
Dsis ,mid 50s, has always lived at home, never moved out. Towards the end of mums life she became her carer.
She works limited hours although she has increased these with overtime since mum passed away but full time contracts are non existent in her sector.
Shes used to pay a small amount of housekeeping but this stopped when she was made redundant from full time work about 10 years ago.
DMs house is in a bad state of repair, none of us can afford to maintain it . Me and my other sibling want to sell.
But DSis is resisting ,not replying to texts, avoiding phones calls, went out when estates agents came round for valuations etc
She has limited income and savings but could get a small mortgage and with proceeds of sale she could get a 1 bed flat.
My other sibling agrees we need to sell but doesn't want to upset dsis and is generally very good at avoidance! They are happy to give Dsis a much bigger share ie 50% I would prefer 40% which i think is realistic for dsis to buy somewhere.
So ive become the wicked witch of the West in Dsis eyes and shes taking it all out on me, well basically stopped talking to me.
WIBU to put the house on the market?
Probate has been granted.
Anyone know what the legal situation is?
I dont want to fall out with Dsis, I love her, but she seems filled with resentment for me and frankly has said some very hurtful things.
Ive always been there for her but shes never ever reciprocated or supported me when ive needed it.
Although I live with DH and DC, the money would really help my future, my pension etc and I dont want to give my share to Dsis, which is what I think she really wants as shes used to being in charge of DMs money , always lived here so I think basically considers everything as hers.
Just dont know how to move things forward or if im being unreasonable selling the house and wanting my share

The fact remains that the house is in a poor state of repair and it is unlikely the resident sister has the capacity or capability to maintain it. While the value of the asset is depreciating the costs of keeping it running will increase and it may even become dangerous. The OP and the other sister may become liable for costs they can’t afford and don’t want.

OP, in your shoes I’d try to work actively with your sister to look at properties she can afford, even if you have to sweeten the deal (which I think is fair given she provided care), and I’d get the house on the market asap before the value drops further, even if you have to force the sale, but the most important thing now is to show her that the future can look good.

True

I've scanned replies here but not read them all.

I'm shocked that this was allowed to happen. If your sister has been living with your mum for years, and was latterly her carer, how can it be that no-one had a clear conversation with your mum and both your sisters, about future plans?

In Ireland (so I appreciate would very likely be different in the UK), someone in this situation could contest the will on the basis of having had a reasonable belief in this property being her home, and as such the will reflecting this, and the arguable sacrifice she made as your mum's carer (an earlier post notes the saving that was achieved by avoiding residential care). Indeed, there are specific provisions in law for these situations so that inheritance tax is avoided, due to the house being a principal private residence for your sister (inheritance tax thresholds are lifetime thresholds in Ireland, different to the UK and so can be very problematic in terms of paying tax due).

That's all moot as it doesn't apply to this situation.

But I think the wrong questions are being asked. Firstly, clear legal advice is needed, secondly an honest conversation, approached sensitively, with your DSis.

But for anyone else in this situation, for the love of pete, do not wait until death to sort it out - have clear conversations early on, and if this situation is planned to arise, be very clear what will happen re: house sale, re-housing of sibling in situ etc.

I can understand she is being difficult, and that's not fair to you, but I have a great deal of sympathy for her. What a huge upheaval ahead for her.

Totally agree with this, yes she has become default carer in the later years as she lived in the house but otherwise she has had far more help from your mum, assuming you and your siblings weren't given large amounts of money whilst she lived. Your sister is pissed off with you because you are not rolling over and stepping in to become her sponsor like your mum did. She's annoyed that she will have to become financially responsible for herself.

Because on the conveyancing forms all occupiers have to sign to say they agree to and will give vacant possession - if she won't sign no one will buy it, it will stall at that point and any sale will fail.

OP said probate is settled, so there is no estate or executor role anymore. There is only a house that three people own equally.

We don't know how long she was a carer for.

Sounds like she hasn't put any of her finances towards the property, and used it for cheap living accommodation, especially after being made redundant 10 years ago. She hasn't helped maintain the house.

She might have been a carer for a matter of weeks/months. We don't know what level of care either. Maybe cooking, shopping etc but not personal care, for example, so not care home level of care.

If had only been a carer for a short period of time, does she really deserve the whole inheritance, when her siblings have had to spend money on their own homes, whilst their sister has lived there for free

What is legally right and what is morally right are very different things.
I couldn't do that to my sister. Presumably she looked after your mother well and you didn't have that stress. You were able to go home to your DH and your DC, she wasn't.
What is more important to you, a bit of money to make your life more comfortable or knowing that your sister is secure and happy?
In my mother's family (farming) situations like this have arisen a few times and the surviving sibling was allowed to continue living in the farmhouse until they passed.
Is there any way she could remain in her home but pay a bit of rent to you and your sister.

I suspect she means probate has been granted, which is different - if it was the intention to sell the property it should never have been transferred to the three of them, as that has conferred legal rights on the resident sister greater than it would had it remained in the deceased parties name as an asset of the estate.

If the property is now held by the 3 of them the resident sister has more right to reside, and it will cost the other two to shift her, if it was still in the estate the liability for costs would be with the estate having equal impact on their shares but with no personal liability.

Yes, but she left an incomplete will. It didn't, as far as we know, specify that the property should be sold, which is really the best way of ensuring siblings all benefit, unless we are talking about an only child, but that isn't the case here. She just st that the siblings would each own equal shares of it. That is clearly inadequate.

My MIL did the same. When she died my BIL, her youngest son, who is an absolute arsehole, threatened to move into her house, thereby preventing his two older siblings from benefitting from their part of the inheritance. He'd still have been there now, 12 years on if we'd left that to happen, and he would not have looked after it or paid the bills either. We changed the locks before he could do it. He did argue and instruct a solicitor against us, but he never paid their bills either so they pretty quickly dropped him. We simply got on and sold the house, splitting the proceeds three equal ways.

People need to ensure that their wills are clear, and as watertight as possible. Specifying that the property must be sold would have done that pretty effectively. It's what I will be doing and my solicitor has told me it is possible, even advisable.

Oh, and probate being granted does not mean the estate is settled and dealt with yet. Probate is a court order giving the executors permission to deal with many aspects of the estate. Doesn't mean at all that it is all suddenly all done and dusted.

Probate for my DH's estate was granted back in July. We are still gathering it all in and sorting it out now.

She could, but she's not being denied "reasonable financial provision" indeed selling the house will give her a lump sum to go forwards with. She could rent, buy a smaller place (not unreasonable given she's single and it's a family home being sold) or part rent part buy. Lots of options.

She's benefited for decades by the current arrangement.

Your poor sibling.

Probably did ALL the care, has lost her Mum and is probably living alone for the first time in her life in the house where her Mum is now absent.

Awful.

It's a shame that OPs sister expects OP to push her pension age later (I.e.work more hours) than it would otherwise be so OPs sister can live in a house she can't afford just because she's become accustomed to it. Meanwhile she presumably expects to continue her limited hours. Sounds like OPs sister could get a 1 bed flat with her third even on her limited hours. And if not, perhaps look to change industry before considering tapping OP up for money.

She made a will. She left her house as she wanted to

You can't do this without probate. The ownership is currently the mum's estate.

You need legal advice and I think you could force a sale. Whilst your sister lives there the house will continue to devalue as it falls into disrepair.

My bf's relatives are going to be in your position eventually. There's a relative in his 50s who has never left home, who's seen as a carer (but does no care), has only paid a pittance on rent for decades and doesn't get it that the house will be sold to be subdivided with his siblings and he'll have to move. We've had to step away because no one will listen and the relative hadn't even thought this might happen!

But she must have had the chance to move out when younger. She hasn't been a carer all her life. She made different life choices than her siblings, living rent free, not helping to maintain the house she lived in. Why should she benefit financially?

just let her have the house , you don't need it

Probate is needed before any change of ownership or sale is permitted. Until that has been granted nothing can happen and the property remains in the OP's mother's estate.

You definitely need legal advice and representation. This could get very very messy and toxic.

In addition, this is the key point: DMs house is in a bad state of repair, none of us can afford to maintain it.

I can see why the OP and her other sister are panicking.

why?

Sister is being very unfair. It’s not your responsibility to provide for her. Give her a date and tell her to move on.

I think that communication is the key.
Sit down over a cup of tea and thrash it out.
Listen, really listen to each other.
Try to maintain your family bonds, a sibling is the longest relationship you are ever likely to have.

And how is the sister going to maintain it? She hasn't got any income. Will she then demand her siblings (who didn't get any inheritance) help fund repairs? Does she need a house the size of a family home?