Manspreaders - do you call them out?

[Floofydawg]

I've just done a 4.5 hour flight; when I boarded the plane the bloke in the seat next to me had his legs spread such that they took up literally half my seat space. Oh he'll move, I thought to myself as I sat down. Did he fuck move. So I thought I can either sit here seething for the duration of the flight and trying to make myself as small as possible, or I can call him out. So I did. His wife tittered, like I was joking. But he bloody moved his legs.

So I'm posting this to encourage others to have the difficult conversation instead of being embarrassed about claiming your own space that you've bloody well paid for!

So what do you do if the man’s legs will only fit splayed out?

DH tries to book an extra legroom seat to avoid this problem but they aren’t always available.

Sit sideways, legs together

Yes. I got on a flight from heathrow to Dublin in winter.

Late 20s man sat next to me in the aisle seat (I was middle seat) Massive long puffer coat. He sat down wearing the coat and spread it all over the arm rest and me

I huffed slightly and moved dramatically and he made a token effort to move it.

Not good enough.

So I turned to him and said 'excuse me I'm menopausal. I am having hot flushes. If any part of you or your coat touches me I am going to melt down'. I must have looked like his mother and most hated teacher combined. He gathered his coat and apologised massively.

I hope he will be mindful of spreading himself out going forwards!

I will always call it out now.

That's beautiful. Well done!

👏🏻👏🏻

My husband has very very long legs. The distance from his back to knees is much longer than a normal seat pitch. That is why we book extra legroom seats. If we can get these then he would spill sideways towards me or put his knees up by his chin. If he was travelling without me and couldn’t get extra legroom then he would have to book an extra seat. Just like someone who is too wide. He can’t take someone else’s room. We travel business on long haul.

I call out anyone taking more than the alloted space. I travel on PT most days and I'd say at least once a week, I have to tell someone to move their handbag to let other people sit down or get their feet off the seats.

Rubbish. My husband is 1m97 and manages to sit without taking anyone's space. I'm 1m78 and also manage so tell your husband to behave.

(6 feet 6 and 5 feet 10 for those of you in the 19th century)

I have to say it is not just overall height. My husband is a couple of inches shorter than yours but he has a short body. All his height is in his legs.
However, nobody should take anyone else’s space that they have paid for.

Good for you. Speaking up in these sort of situations is actual empowerment! I confess I have just silently seethed when it's happened to me.

There's nothing difficult about saying to someone "Excuse me, you're in my space, can you move your leg please".

I don't see that as 'calling someone out' and I think referring to it as such will probably put people off doing it.

Just as I've asked people to move their handbags when they're partly resting on my knee.

Or anything that's in my way really. It's just polite communication.

@LadyLooo it sounds so simple when you put it like that. Thank you. I don't know why I find it so difficult to speak up sometimes. I do have an unfortunate tendency to go red though, which puts me off.

I don't know anyone who still puts up with that... If you're in my paid-for space: you are going to move, one way or the other.

I think it's awkward to speak up though. Especially if you then have to sit next to that person for 4+ hours. Most people don't like confrontation.

Two occasions of this and called out both times.
Bloke on plane did exactly as you describe, said fuck all just sat myself down and reclaimed my space with my own (long) legs-he got the message.
Other one was a knob sat across from me on the train, he shoved his feet into my space so I stomped on his feet with my lovely chunky boots 🤣 He apologised tbf.

I would have agreed with you. But it seems I feel quite empowered now I'm on HRT!

That said, if someone looked like they'd knife me, I'd avoid it!

On buses I will say excuse me could you move up ,if it's mm then that when"would it kill you to fucking move"comes out.
I do the same for DW if a man is splayed across the disabled seats because I won't see her teetering on the edge of a seat.
Just arsehole behaviour.😡

On one flight I had a man put his backpack under his own seat rather than the seat in front of him. When I asked him to move it so I could store my own bag he refused as apparently he needed the space in front for his feet. Entitled knob. The crew made him move it quick smart 😂

Quite honestly? I don't care. Not my problem. That's his space and this is my space. he can figure out his space or pay for a bigger seat.

As I pointed out, bigger seats are not always available.

It's difficult because while @LadyLooo is right... she's only right in theory. Every single one of us who have asked a man to stop taking up our space has, at one time or another, been the subject of much eye rolling, huffing or even complaints. I suggested that actually, a man could walk around me instead of me walking around him the other day and he shouted, "Fuck off bitch".

So it's not weird that you find it difficult. it shouldn't be difficult. Bt then, it shouldn't even be necessary because men shouldn't be taking up so much space in the first place.

Still don't care. Not my problem. Then he must find an alternative way to travel or buy two seats. Which is what, for example, my morbidly obese relative did on flights.

I'm not paying full price for my seat to share it with your DH.