Manspreaders - do you call them out?

[Floofydawg]

I've just done a 4.5 hour flight; when I boarded the plane the bloke in the seat next to me had his legs spread such that they took up literally half my seat space. Oh he'll move, I thought to myself as I sat down. Did he fuck move. So I thought I can either sit here seething for the duration of the flight and trying to make myself as small as possible, or I can call him out. So I did. His wife tittered, like I was joking. But he bloody moved his legs.

So I'm posting this to encourage others to have the difficult conversation instead of being embarrassed about claiming your own space that you've bloody well paid for!

I claim my space. If they dont move, I either ask or tell them to move over.

What did you say to him?!

I said 'please could you keep to your own space as I'm not spending this entire flight touching a complete stranger's legs.' Did the trick. Was a bit proud of myself for saying something as usually I wouldn't.

I always make a big show of cramming my seat space with bags, fidgeting like I've got ants in my pants, get out some smelly crisps and eat with my mouth open showering crumbs around and then start knitting with nice long needles and busy elbows. Magically the area around me clears.

Well done OP! (genuinely!)

Not had that, but did have a girl put her bag on a seat and look put out when asked to move it! That was a bus, but yes, ask people to move if they're in a seat you've paid for.
If there was a genuine reason the person needed more space, as in a medical issue, then on a bus, I'd let them have it (say if the man you mentioned had a hip issue) but you can't very well stand for a plane journey, so I'd hope he'd alert the airline before travelling if he had a medical need to take more room.

I call people out. In my old age, I go business for long haul or on short haul I book one of the rows over the exit isle. You don’t get so many awkward people there and as children are not allowed in this row, you don’t get parents wanting to swap with you.

The man opposite me on the Tube the other day was taking up half of the seat next to him with his legs wide open. Another man got on and tried to sit down.
Man 1 was not happy about this and said ‘Do you just want to sit on my lap mate??’
Man 2 was like 🤨 and did not back down from claiming his rightful seat space.

Well done OP

I certainly do call them out.

I got a ‘nice one’ from another woman on a train recently when some corpulent man cunt was trying to spread across my seat. I told him to move your excess body from my seat, he growled something at me, and I just asked loudly, if he had a problem?

I did once cause some old bloke to apologise about his man spreading on a plane. He explained he was disabled, and his leg wandered. Cue me noticing his big boot. A bit embarrassing, but his wife apologised and told me not to worry!

Ah the VIB - very important bag. I always ask people to remove it

I do but not as often as I would like to.

My favourite though is when they fet all huffy. On one brilliant occasion on the tube, the man got defensive and then... stormed off to sit somewhere else. I think i was supposed to be upset?! Clearly he forgot i am not his wife/daughter/other woman he probably controls. I smiled and said, this was much better for me. (Ds attempted to go invisible)

I dont inderstand how he could spread across your seat when there are arm rests on a plane to prevent this?

My other all time best moment of calling out entitled men on the tube was when pregnant. Not showing and I didnt have a badge. Didn't really need a seat either but its relevant because I think it was the pregnancy bolshyness that made me do this...

Warerloo and City line. For those who dont know it, it goes just from Waterloo to Bank and back. So pulls in empty, fills complely, then.empties completely on other side. People.rush on to get seats, everyone else squashes into rhe aisle etc. Fine.

Unspoken rule is that obviously all the people standing get off first. Posh looking man in expensive seat elbows me (snd a few others) to get a seat. Then, on arrival at Bank, attempts to stand up and push past. I threw my arm out and physically blocked him and said firmly, "you got a seat, you wait". I heard a few people mutter agreement!

Seriously? His legs were at frickin 10 to 2 and splayed into my leg space. The arm rest doesn't go down to the floor!

I don't say anything, I just do the same...

I'm the same size as a man really - I'm 5, 11 and size 16. My shoulders are broad and my legs are longer than most men's, so I figure if they think they need all the space I probably need it more. I simply also man spread and actively gently push their legs out of my space and take up some of theirs too over a minute or so.

Some people give me the side eye and say nothing, so nothing changes. A significant number apologise and move properly into their own space, so then I politely say sorry and do the same. I always take all my space though, unless someone is genuinely just too big to fit in their space, then I just take back as much as is physically possible.

And my hips are shot to shit and very painful when pushed together, so I am never sympathetic in all honesty. It's no easier for me to be squashed than they, even if they have hidden mobility issues too.

Some of the planes have very short armrests only going half way from the back of the seat.

He did get a meal as well and practically stuck his elbow in my face as he ate it but at least that was only temporary. God I hate flying! 😂

I called out a man on a train, who was sitting in the seat I'd reserved and was using the power charger that came with that seat. He wouldn't believe me until I showed him my reservation email & pointed out the digital reservation on the seat head rest. Even then he was still reluctant to move, but I stood my ground & got my seat. Had him unplug his device so I could charge my phone too. I don't care if it causes a scene, I can't stand these men who think they rule the roost.
Equally, I only drive a small car; but I'll be damned if I let a male with small man syndrome in his biggger, more important car bully me into giving way to him when it's my right of way!

Good, problem solved. Call them out every time.

It's a lot more tricky when someone's body is spreading into your space, though, as there's not a lot you can do.

@ExpressCheckout yeah I know, can hardly expect someone to be magically smaller. But if their legs are akimbo and they can close them, I expect them to do so!

TBH it would never occur to me NOT to ask them (politely) to move their legs out of my space.

Spreading on planes, even ocer arm rest, is easy. Men do it because they have to make an effort to stay in their seat. I had t9 keep asking one once to stop. He wss in dd's space and I honestly thought i was being ridiculous as she was "just a child". Wanker.

I use buses a lot and have often asked people to move the bags they’ve plonked on the seat beside them, hoping that nobody will ask to sit there. I ask politely enough - nobody has ever refused, and the odd eye roll bothers me not at all.

About 30 years ago I was on a flight and the bloke next to me spread his leg into my space.

I put my leg up against his.

No reaction.

I then put my leg OVER his.

Instant reaction - his leg withdrawn back into his space.

Not a word was spoken but I could have toasted bread from his angry seething.

Wanker.

On a train I dealt with a manspreader by getting out my laptop and watching manspreader-related videos and funny memes about how to deal with manspreaders. I had my headphones in for the soundtracks but giggled regularly. He obviously watched my screen enough to see what I was laughing at, and then got up and moved to a different carriages. Obviously he couldn't have done that on a plane. Well done OP.