My daughter is doing a degree in Business with Spanish and Italian, and she is very happy with her choice of college and course.
She had enough points to get into a more prestigious college and could have studied subjects such as humanities, communications or journalism. However, she was quite determined to do this particular course because she wanted something more practical and less theoretical. She also liked the industry links and the fact that there is a mandatory year abroad in Spain.
I completely understand her reasoning, and I have always wanted my children to make their own decisions about their lives. I don't want to be the kind of parent who tries to dictate what they should study or what career they should pursue.
However, if I'm honest, I feel disappointed, and I feel guilty about feeling that way.
My own degree was in Literature and Sociology at a good college, and I suppose I had hoped she might follow a more academic route. I value the intellectual side of a university education and had imagined her studying something along those lines at a more prestigious institution. I think I had an idea in my head of the sort of university experience I would have liked her to have.
Part of me worries that, given her academic ability, she could have challenged herself more and that she might be missing out on a richer university experience. I also wonder whether a degree from a more prestigious college might have opened up different opportunities for her in the future.
At the same time, I realise that she has thought about what she wants and has chosen a course that genuinely appeals to her. She isn't disappointed with her choice or wishing she had done something else. In fact, she's happy, which is what I should want for her.
I know that practical degrees can lead to good careers, and I can see the advantages of learning languages, spending a year abroad and having industry connections. I'm not suggesting that her course is a bad one, and I certainly don't want her to feel that I'm unhappy with her decision.
I think what I'm struggling with is that she has had the academic ability to pursue a different route but has actively chosen not to. Perhaps I had hoped she would value some of the things I valued about university.
I have always believed that my children should make their own choices, and I know it would be unfair to expect her to follow the path I took or to choose a degree based on prestige alone.
So, AIBU to feel disappointed, even though I respect her decision and am glad she's happy? Am I being too hung up on academic prestige and the kind of education I personally value? Or is it understandable to feel that she could have made more of her academic potential, even if she sees things differently?
I don't want to project my own expectations onto her, but I can't quite shake the feeling that I wish she'd chosen differently. I feel bad about that because, ultimately, it's her life and her decision.
I'd appreciate some honest perspectives, particularly from people whose children have chosen a different path from the one they might have hoped for them. How do you let go of your own expectations and feel genuinely happy for your child when their choices aren't quite what you imagined?