To think that some parents are shit at parenting and that's why their children are little shits

[Itwasthe90s]

There, I said it. 😂
I'm sick of parents excusing appalling behaviour with everything but they actual problem - they're doing a shit job and need to do something differently, read a parenting book or go to parenting classes.
Hitting other children, being rude to adults and throwing a tantrum every time they hear NO shouldn't be brushed off like it so often is these days.
And don't get me started on parents who blame the teacher, the other child, or literally anyone except their own precious offspring.
Yes, children have additional needs. Yes, they have difficult days. But sometimes a badly behaved child is simply a badly behaved child whose parents refuse to set boundaries.
When did gentle parenting become synonymous with refusing to tell your child they're behaving like a little shit?
Go on, tell me I'm wrong.

Oh, come on now. 😂 She's written an entire post criticizing other people's parenting skills, telling them they're doing a shit job and suggesting they need parenting classes. You seriously don't think there's an implication that she considers herself a better parent? People generally don't go around lecturing complete strangers about how badly they're raising their children unless they believe they know better. And the irony of complaining about children being rude and disrespectful while casually calling them “little shits” is apparently lost on both of you.

No. I don't.

Noticing how crap something is doesn't mean you think you are inherently perfect.

Oh, please. She's not simply noticing bad behavior, she's gone out of her way to start an entire thread announcing that other people are shit parents raising little shits complete with a smug lecture about how they should be raising their children. That's not an innocent observation, that's someone who clearly thinks she's qualified to judge everyone else's parenting.

In what seems to be your sole opinion.

But there you go.

And apparently you're a mind reader now since you've decided you know exactly what everyone else thinking. Funny how my interpretation is merely an opinion, but yours is somehow an established fact but there you go.

Shit parents often use autism as an excuse (undiagnosed cases) and while an autistic dc is challenging, how well they cope and succeed is influenced by parenting and a child with strong parenting will do better than those from shit homes - same a nt dc but the gap is bigger.

Why are you taking this so personally? Frankly the bad parents that OP identified on the previous page who never intervene, never correct behaviour, blame other children/the other parent/teachers and have no desire to change are unlikely to be here on a parenting forum in the first place.

Do I think I'm a better parent than some?
Of course. Evidently.

Do I think lax parenting is a real concern, worthy of discussion in a parenting forum?
Absolutely

Do I think I am a perfect parent that never makes mistakes?
Not even close

I have two autistic children. Far from perfect but absolutely not poorly behaved. I have noticed that there is a cohort of parents of children with ASD who are terrified of the meltdowns and with their child getting upset and it means they let poor behaviour go from early. Unfortunately they end up with unmanageable behaviour later. My son’s class had an unusually high number of autistic children and I saw them through from Nursery to Y6. The children whose parents refused to deal properly when little have really big problems now with their insolent and combative 14 year olds.

My younger son is non verbal and like a rhino so discipline looks different but again, he’s always had boundaries and even with his limited cognitive ability he can learn.

I’m a gentle parent but I’m not permissive and not a pushover. I’d be ashamed if my child behaved the way some of his peers do.

No, just a reader.
As in the thread.
Where you are alone in your view of OP.

Sorry you needed that explaining further.

Lol, why are you taking my comments so personally? 😂 You're on the internet at nearly midnight defending a complete stranger's rant about other people's children, yet somehow I'm the one who's overly invested? Do you genuinely have nothing better to do? You seem awfully worked up over someone daring to disagree with the OP. Perhaps it's time to put the phone down and go to bed.

Can you show me where I am worked up, please? Was it the part where I asked a question?

As for whether or not I have anything better to do - I'm having a little browse of Mumsnet while it's half time in the NFL game I'm watching. I'm not sure why that's relevant as you are here, also.

My sister, as a lone parent, has never been able to cope with my nephew's meltdowns and has done everything she possibly could to avoid them. Going well out of her way and against her own needs, not prioritising his own safety, wellbeing, education or health at times, just to give him whatever he wanted.

As a result she now has a 13 year old who is completely out of her control and won't do a single thing he is asked, doesn't have a single ounce of respect for her, and who she waits on hand and foot.

The older, bigger and stronger he gets, the more I worry that he will seriously physically harm her. The way he treats her is already abuse.

It's frightening the level of non parenting some people are doing these so days, whether that's through fear, ignorance or laziness, and whether the child has SEN or not, the results are real.

For starters the part where you're still up at nearly midnight repeatedly defending a complete stranger because someone on the internet disagreed with her but sure, keep pretending you're just casually asking questions and not desperately trying to get the last word in. At this point, I'm surprised you're not charging the OP for your services. And that conveniently timed NFL halftime excuse is hilarious, considering none of the games are even at halftime right now so either your comment took an impressively long time to write or you're getting a little creative with the truth.

'I don't even need to read beyond that ridiculous title to know what kind of person I'm dealing with. Imagine being a grown adult calling other people's children “little shits” while congratulating yourself on your superior parenting skills while I'm sure your own children are absolute delights with such a charming example to follow. The irony of complaining about children being rude and disrespectful while publicly insulting kids you've never met is apparently completely lost on you so perhaps before suggesting everyone else pick up a parenting book, you could start with one about teaching children basic kindness and respect because you don't seem to have mastered either yourself'
Oh dear, there's always the sanctimonious one, not looking beneath the words to acknowledge, as the OP has said, that there is a problem. Teacher of many years here, and a parent, I fully support all that has been said about poor/lazy parenting and lack of boundaries. I also recognise that SEN children are challenging and need sensitive handling...but the best parents of SEN children are the ones that recognise that sometimes they are just being little shits!

My lodger is a secondary teacher. She is from abroad where discipline and consequences for personal actions is part of daily life. (Like it used to be in the UK.) She throws her hands up at the poor behaviour of her charges. Some she feels sorry for as the come from these types of families you are talking about. How she manages to stay sane I do not know!

The older, bigger and stronger he gets, the more I worry that he will seriously physically harm her. The way he treats her is already abuse.

I read on FBook the other day, and have just fact checked now, that 19 women so far this year have been killed by their sons. I do worry about the women on here that post about their large built/strong teenage sons being violent towrads them. 😟
EDIT: Just found this as well, More than 170 mothers killed by their sons in 15 years and More mothers killed by sons than strangers Scary.

So do I. It's such an issue because ultimately they have to balance looking after them with the safety issues. It's not like there is anywhere else for them to be looked after!

Ah, cool! A fellow fan. Who's your team?

Who's yours, cause mine's the one from the city I'm actually from and live in so I'm not someone randomly supporting a team from a city I've probably never even been to.

Okay then!

I'm impressed you're still persevering 😂

I was just trying to be nice! That'll teach me.

It awful. My 13 year old obviously had his challenges but we have worked so hard with him
and school to help him learn how to regulate himself. He’s doing so well now - happy school, at home, has friends, just generally doing well but he needed structure and boundaries (as I believe all children do).