To not want to go over MIL for christmas dinner?

[ZeStreng]

because she's a terrible cook?

We don't usually eat at my MIL and FIL's house. Food hygiene has always been a bit of a concern for us. She tends to keep sauces and other items long past their use-by dates!, and there's often food in the fridge that's way past its best.

When the children were younger, we used to alternate Christmas Day between my parents and my husband's parents. However, once the kids were around 4 and 2, we decided to start spending Christmas at home instead.

Since then, we haven't spent Christmas Day at my in-laws'. They haven't invited us over, and they haven't come to ours on Christmas Day either.

When we stopped alternating, my parents would still pop round on Christmas morning to watch the children open their presents. They've naturally stopped doing that now that both kids are teenagers. We've only gone out for Christmas lunch with my parents twice, once when my grandad had a terminal diagnosis and another year when a family member was celebrating a milestone birthday on Christmas Day. They also came to us last year with my nan.

This year, my in-laws have invited us over for Christmas dinner, but if I'm honest, nobody is particularly keen. Even my husband is trying to find a polite way to decline because he's not a fan of his mum's cooking either. The difficulty is that MIL is feeling quite upset about it as she can tell we don't want to go over.

I don't want to eat a terrible meal on Christmas day! I also resent going over a bit when they never come over to us and we had the young kids.

I wouldn't risking a dose of food poisoning to be polite.

THE day when good food is important, surely? (Given economic security, that is) But choking down mouthfuls of stuff you’d fear to look at too closely would wrench out the greater point of the whole day, I think.
I dont find there’s any necessity for sucking up anything here, since PIL have each other. There’s no stated emotional reason for OP and her family to accept this invitation, and there are umpteen kindly ways it could be refused.
(The kids will surely dislike the prospect anyway, and may even want to see a few friends in the late afternoon near home).
Nah, I think the family can stay at home with clear consciences.

You don’t have to agree with me. Nor I with you. Not sure why you think we should?

Because OP was the one to post the thread….

You astound me!
Was not your own comment in the same category as mine, ie expressing our own opinions on the matter, since OP has asked for exactly this after all, in an MN forum devoted to readers inclining this way or that on others’ quandaries?

(I’d be a bloody fool if I expected much agreement with anything I declare on MN, in any case)

The difference is I didn’t reply to you. I simply made a comment on my own. You don’t have to include me in your opinion. Clearly it doesn’t take much to ‘astound’ you …

How about you agree to go to their house but offer to do the cooking? Say you couldn’t let poor MIL host AND cook so you’d like to do your share? Or youve already pre-ordered your turkey so you may as well bring it or DS is very particular about how he likes his Christmas dinner…any number of reasons why you should do the cooking. Might work out well as it sounds like you don’t really have the space in your house for a sit down Christmas dinner anyway.

Or just tell them you’ve already planned to have dinner at home but you’d be happy to call around for a couple of hours before/after dinner for a visit.

So it is on OP to make a grown man and their teens to subject themselves to food poisoning on Christmas Day to make someone who doesn’t seem to care about the health of their own family members happy because OP posted a thread?

Kay.

Did you ever invite them over in previous years or just assume they'd know they were welcome? Some people do need a clear invitation. If you have always invited them, then I would not feel too guilty about saying no. I would make a plan to go and visit Christmas day, just not for dinner.

Would your living room fit a table for 6? If so I would use wallpaper pasting tables with a tablecloth on and do dinner at home for them. Or have all your Christmas dinner on the breakfast bar, where you can serve yourself and then eat on chairs and the sofa, not ideal but ok for a one off. Or have a Christmas eve ning or boxing day buffet, served from the breakfast bar and invite them to that.

Okey doke, (though you certainly were addressing me with that quoted post, therefore….)

You certainly astound me, since you mention it, by declaring that we may only speak when spoken to, as it were, in these threads.
This may even be true, but I was not aware of it.
But consider me slapped down, by all means. 🤐

Nope. Just reminding you that we don’t have to agree with each other so it’s pointless to argue.