To not want to go over MIL for christmas dinner?

[ZeStreng]

because she's a terrible cook?

We don't usually eat at my MIL and FIL's house. Food hygiene has always been a bit of a concern for us. She tends to keep sauces and other items long past their use-by dates!, and there's often food in the fridge that's way past its best.

When the children were younger, we used to alternate Christmas Day between my parents and my husband's parents. However, once the kids were around 4 and 2, we decided to start spending Christmas at home instead.

Since then, we haven't spent Christmas Day at my in-laws'. They haven't invited us over, and they haven't come to ours on Christmas Day either.

When we stopped alternating, my parents would still pop round on Christmas morning to watch the children open their presents. They've naturally stopped doing that now that both kids are teenagers. We've only gone out for Christmas lunch with my parents twice, once when my grandad had a terminal diagnosis and another year when a family member was celebrating a milestone birthday on Christmas Day. They also came to us last year with my nan.

This year, my in-laws have invited us over for Christmas dinner, but if I'm honest, nobody is particularly keen. Even my husband is trying to find a polite way to decline because he's not a fan of his mum's cooking either. The difficulty is that MIL is feeling quite upset about it as she can tell we don't want to go over.

I don't want to eat a terrible meal on Christmas day! I also resent going over a bit when they never come over to us and we had the young kids.

This one

You're presumably going to buy a table and chairs at some point, so why not do it before Christmas so you can invite them without issues?

Interesting. You're the second person in 2 days who seems to think stools is spelt "stalls". Sorry. Nothing to do with your question.

Invite them over for Christmas Day, then when they decline, suggest meeting for a pub meal Christmas Eve or Boxing Day.

I wouldn't want to suck it up. It is likely to cause upset stomachs, and who wants that at Christmas?

I see the OP has declined the invitation, but other options could be to visit for a short while after lunch and/or take them out on Boxing Day.

No I am not, there are 4 of us. We just eat at the breakfast bar that fits 4 people.

So then there isn’t a question, is there? No I wouldn’t eat there, on any day. Especially not on Christmas Day.
Just say your children like to spend the day at home, job done.

Not the point of your thread… but it will only be 4 for a while at some point boyfriends and girlfriends will enter the picture then wives husbands etc etc

it might be worth getting a table even a expandable table

Maybe they don't want to welcome guests in their house ever.

YANBU

I’m not knowingly risking food poisoning for anyone, holiday or not.

No one should just suck it up as to not upset someone when it comes to their health. No one enjoys food poisoning!

It's clear that you simply don't like them. Why did you not say that in the first place?

Poor old buggers probably have no idea.

Well its shocking that you know and those poor buggers don't.

One thing is I’d stop feeling resentful about them not coming over- you stopped alternating, that to me insinuates ye just want your own little family there. I think that’s a case of damned if you do and they were damned because they didn’t!!

Maybe they don’t have a revolving door of people coming into their house, prefer eating out with others where no one has to tidy up, or everyone’s schedule isn’t great for visitors. Perhaps guests don’t eat full meals at their house. I know growing up, guests weren’t regular because we had different hours and by time everyone was settled it was too late for guests. People who stopped by had a beverage and if it was more than four, some sat in the living room and some sat in the dining room.

Buying something that is likely only going to be used less than a handful of times of year isn’t worth it to some.

Obviously just invite them to yours.

I agree to invite to yours with or without your parents…

If you can’t invite them to yours organise a pub or restaurant Christmas meal again you could invite your parents too! I’ve done this with my family and it works well. They can pop for a drink afterwards.

Elderly parents and you don’t want to spend Xmas with them? Because of the food? Im
not surprised they are upset. Can you insist you bring something with you, ie we will bring the turkey

I think it's only fair that you invite them to yours as it sounds like it's all about your family and not DHs. You can put up a temporary patio/trestle table to accommodate them for one day, but you seem intent on not having to see them at all. I feel sorry for them.

I tried looking it up without success. What does "Elephant's feet under the sofa" mean? Just curious 🤔

you can say no to an invitation, no need for excuses - just say "no our family would rather spend the day in our own home" and commit to a day when ye can visit over the festive season.

Thanks for the invite, we'll drop over Christmas morning for a visit, we'll be having Christmas Dinner at our own house, and you are more than welcome to join us.

PILs can eat at the breakfast bar, kids can make do. They are kids they won't care. If PILs don't want to go to yours for dinner, no problem, they can't say they weren't invited!

It's not that hard, you just have to make a decision and stick to it.

Fair point! Elephant feet are a certain type of chair raiser sold in mobility shops. Old fashioned now but secure.
amzn.eu/d/0dYiV1iK

Aha. Yes, I've seen them. Thanks 👍🏻

You say that, but I think I’m pretty immune to anything I serve up, I wouldn’t test it on anyone else though!!!