Not ready for baby to stay overnight with family. AIBU?

[spicegirls1]

I’m a first time mum. My baby is only 4 months old. We had a lot of losses before he was born, so we’ve waited a long time for him. Mine and my husbands families are very different. His family like to control every single situation which never bothered me until now. My MIL and SIL keep asking to have my son overnight and keep saying that they can’t wait for a sleepover etc. I think it’s a bit weird…I personally think he should be with me and I don’t feel comfortable with a sleepover just yet. But they keep pushing it. And then when they finally let it go, they say things like…”bless you, you’re just not ready are you? You must be struggling” am I right thinking that they’re being weird??

Bless them back.
Bless you, you really do have baby fever don't you. Sorry you're struggling with the fact that baby won't be doing sleepovers for years, but I'm sure baby will have a lovely bond with you, even if they don't spend their sleeping hours at your house.
Sweet smile and gentle pat.

My kids never had sleepovers, the oldest 2 probably 3 times in their lives but my youngest 2never and never will

They’ve forgotten what it’s like to have a newborn. Not many people would be comfortable with this and you don’t need to justify it.

If you do struggle with sleep deprivation, you could always ask one of them to stay at yours and do a night feed and the settling back down. That would be a test of how prepared they are to get up for hours in the night. Potentially a godsend for you on the odd night!

No do not give it. Your baby is tiny and needs their mum. Especially if you’re BF.

Just say he’s too young and you’re not looking for overnights.

It is totally valid to not want your 4 month old to sleep somewhere else without you and absolutely DOES NOT when you are struggling. F them.

Babies can bond with other people without sleeping at their homes without a parent present.

This is totally unacceptable at your baby’s age. You might never feel it’s ok for your child and that’s absolutely fine. Your child, your decision.

Way too young. I’d not have dreamt of it at this age. Also I was co-sleeping and EBF so it just wouldn’t have happened.

My 7 year old has also never had a sleepover and likely never will.

Glad to see others the same as us!

@spicegirls1
Call me a cynic
But could they be ganging up/trying to sow a seed of doubt
So if you're unsteady/unsure they may 'get' baby that way?
You yourself have said they're quite controlling
So keep your distance and say no
Not sure I trust them

Its definitely weird. Too many people are keen to tell mums it is a bad sign to not want to be away from their baby. My little guy is nearly 7 months and has never spent the night away from me and won't until he is at least a year old. He doesn't even spend more than 4 hours being babysat by family even at this stage.
Stick to your guns - that's your baby and its about what you are comfortable with

That’s so controlling, tell them to sod off! He needs to me with his mum when he’s so young

Yanbu. Unless an emergency situation occurs. he is 4 months that's very small and too young.

Cheerily agree that no, you're not ready, so it's not happening, and ignore their nonsense.