I didn’t let my husband eat the meatballs, AIBU?

[dancebabybee]

My husband is an incredibly fussy eater. Basically, he will only eat beige foods and sugar. This makes going out to eat very difficult as well as cooking for him at home. There have been times in restaurants when he will complain there is NOTHING he likes on the menu (despite the menu being extensive) and he ends up eating a bread basket. I am giving you this history as it is important for what happened this evening…

I made meatballs, tomato ragu and spaghetti for dinner. Due to my husbands extreme fussy eating, I don’t usually cook for him and he is left to sort himself out. Me and the children had this for dinner. When I went into the kitchen afterwards, he had started picking at the sauce left in the pan, scooping the meatballs out, scraping the tomatoes and sauce off. I asked him whether he wanted me to make him some pasta, he said no he just wanted to eat the meatballs. I told him to please not, as it will just leave a load of sauce that nobody will want to eat without meatballs in it, and I wanted to save the spare for lunch or dinner tomorrow. He then got annoyed about this and sulked off…

AIBU?

The DH doesn’t live in your house though does he, in his house he sorts out his own food?

Really. So let’s say a teenage son has said he’s going out and you needn’t include him in dinner. You cook lasagne for you and the other kids. He arrives home and removes the lasagne sheets to eat leaving you with a dish of mince just before the rest of you were going to have lasagne. No bother: simply use it for spaghetti bolognese another time?

I know as if anybody in real life would tolerate this shit.

Also, the implication that other people, usually women let's be fair, have to tolerate another adult's (own child is different) eating disorders or ARFID and constantly adjust their cooking and meal plans causing much frustration gets on my fecking nerves.
Angry even.

He can eat pasties and biscuits all day long just don't expect anybody else to accommodate him. Selfish prick.

I'd be fuming if I were the OP. Furious.

OP isn't 'deeming it appropriate' to eat the food in one specific or unusual way. The dish wasn't for him - he'd opted out. If he'd wanted to have some she was prepared to be generous and dish him up a plateful - probably delighted he was going to eat normally - but, understandably, flipped at the point where he simply wanted to filch the main bits and leave them the rejected sauce only. And, equally understandably, didn't just think 'oh where's the bother, I'll just creatively think of a whole other dish to use the sauce'.

Incidentally, posts saying things like 'I could not even begin to bring myself to begin to have the bandwith to care' are among the smuggest and most irritating this site has to offer.

We should start a thread of upcycle recipes that we can share. Recipes to help women after picky men have picked the best bits out of their meal plan.

We have a "no pilching" rule in this house. For example, leftover paella- take a spoonful: yes. Pick out a bit of chicken, chorizo or prawn: no. Otherwise we are left with a sad sack portion of rice that noone wants (But DP will eat because he never let's me have the shit portion of things)

So no, shouldn't be picking tbe meatballs out.

They should turn it into a challenge on Master Chef. The arsehole husband picked all of the good bits challenge. What to do with the pizza base that somebody’s DH has eaten all of the cheese off of.

He's selfish and should be putting his family first.

Again, that's a completely different scenario you've made up.

Respectfully, your husband needs to grow tf up. I couldn’t cope with this selfish arse.

YANBU, mind you he sounds like a dick, I could never have found someone like this attractive in the first place. The thought of a grown man sitting in a restaurant eating nothing but a basket of bread gives me the ick.

The fish pie scenario isn’t made up. What should OP do with a fish pie that’s had all of the good bits picked out? “Kids, we’re having mash with fishy sauce tonight.”

This type of behaviour will eventually spill over: Your children will pick up his behaviour, his attitude to you will become awful. You need to take away all his control of food, i.e. he eats either with you all normally, or he leaves the house to eat and does not participate in any food related activities.

I don’t get your logic.

Had he eaten all the sauce etc then there wouldn’t have been anything for tomorrow’s lunch either.

Was he eating more than a potion of meatballs?

But he would have eaten them anyway if he'd said yes to her making pasta to go with them?

OP has already explained this.

If he had the pasta, he wouldn't have needed to eat all of the meatballs so some would've still been available for lunch.

If I hadn't read the original post, I would think that the DH in question is in fact a very young child, the way many posters are saying things like 'at least he's getting some protein', 'be glad he's trying something new' and so on. Absolutely ridiculous for a grown 'man' to be carrying on this way.

Who bloody cares. Why on earth is everyone so selfish about some food.

AppropriateAdult
I'm glad you said that, because I was just trying to work out the same thing.

it's potatoes not potato's

(unless it's 'the potato's skin was the DH's favourite bit', obvs) 😄

Actually, being serious, I have read the previous part of this thread. It appears that the DH left some sauce. Really? That's such a big deal? We all have our foibles. Let the man eat the meatballs for heaven's sake. At least he's getting some nutrition.

Edit - mistype

It's not just food, though, it's the OP's time and effort. Proper cooked meals don't just plan and prepare themselves.

So OP has to cook the whole meal, anticipating that she’ll have another batch for lunch tomorrow, and then has to make some new Frankenstein meal out of the remains once fussy arse has picked out the bits he wants from her lunch?

I find YOUR attitude towards women and their partners interesting. The DH does his own shopping and cooking, by choice, because he’s fussy. Why do you think he has carte Blanche to pick out what he wants from his wife’s meal and that she should be happy with the shit remains or happily cook a second meal for herself?!

Well actually, I would care if I had to eat a fish pie with no fish in it and I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t be the only one.

Why doesn’t he just cook some fish if he just wants fish? He’s the one who is selfish.

My thoughts exactly. She's not his mum, it's not her job to be happy he's trying something new. And anyway he's obviously not lacking in protein whatsoever and no reason to think meatballs are anything new, sounds like he eats a diet with plenty of meat. Maybe she'd have been glad for his sake to find him pinching some vegetables or trying the tomato sauce. He clearly doesn't need more meat.

This would drive me absolutely mad.

I wouldn't let him eat things that I'd cooked tbh. If you've put effort into cooking vegetables, making nice sauces etc it's so disrespectful to just come and pick out the meat.

Tell him to cook himself up some plain boring meat and leave the proper food for those who want it.