AIBU to be completely shaken up after this happened while I was driving with my 6yo?

[hoopladelicious]

I’m posting because I’m still really shaken by this and would appreciate some advice and support.

Yesterday evening I was driving home with my six-year-old daughter after taking her to a sports session 20 minutes away. I live in a small town and the sports location is rural. The session finished at around 7pm and it was dark outside.

On the country road home, I became aware of a vehicle following very closely behind me. Suddenly the vehicle then overtook me, stopped abruptly in the middle of the road and a large male got out on the dark road.

He approached my car shouting and swearing at me. He could clearly see that I had my six-year-old daughter in the car.

I was frightened and tried to get away from the situation.

I tried to overtake, and another vehicle behind the first one then overtook me and positioned itself in the right-hand lane, facing oncoming traffic.

At first I thought I might be able to follow this vehicle and get away from the first driver, but I then realised the second vehicle appeared to be involved too.
The first vehicle was blocking the left-hand side of the road and the second vehicle, a huge Hilux, was positioned on the right-hand side, facing the direction of oncoming traffic.

It was a narrow, dark, bendy country road. I couldn't get past them, and I didn't feel I could safely reverse my small car either. The larger vehicles could manoeuvre much more easily than I could.

At that point I was trapped with my little girl in a dark isolated country road with an angry man with an accomplice. There was no connection on my phone and i was shaking like a leaf.

The second driver wasn't the person who had been shouting at me, but the positioning of his Hilux meant I couldn't get past, and I had no idea what was happening or what their intentions were.

I put my hazard lights on, started sounding my horn and was screaming because I was so frightened.

The driver of the Hilux could see that I was distressed and that I had my child in the car.

I honestly thought I was being carjacked.

I was terrified that one of them might force me out of the car, that the situation could escalate, or that either me or my daughter could be harmed. I was also very worried about the Hilux being positioned facing oncoming traffic on a narrow bend at night and the potential for a collision.

Eventually, because other traffic was coming through, the vehicles moved and I was able to get away and continue towards home.

Afterwards, the Hilux continued to weave through traffic in a way that interfered with my journey and made me feel intimidated. I don't know what happened to the first vehicle at that point.

I got the car registration and reported it to the police. I'm not sure what they did was even a crime? I don't know what is going through peoples minds to do this to someone on a dark country road. Working in tandem? I can only imagine they are awful people.

AIBU to think this was extremely frightening and potentially very serious, or am I catastrophising what happened?

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

And is there anything else you think I should be doing now that I've reported it to the police?

You absolutely protected your daughter. You did everything right. You got through it unscathed. Well done! Definitely follow up your report to the police.

@Justmadesourkraut 112, yes. But 101 has no (non-)emergency function in Europe other than Belgium and UK.

Have you ever used that button? I did once in my mini. Didn’t connect me to emergency services at all, but to a call centre who proceeded to ask me a bunch of stupid questions (what’s the mileage on my car?!) before they got me some help.

999 may have caught up now. I haven't had to check. Just memorized the 112 number after reading about it on Mnet! 😊

How awful, must have been terrifying

Who the fuck is voting that you’re being unreasonable?!

I’m so sorry that happened to you. So scary.

Don’t let this go push the police to do something. Demand answers it’s probably a stolen car. If police are dragging their heels ask for a meeting with the inspector that’ll shift them

OP this is truly awful and I’m not surprised you are still shaken up. Please pursue this with the police, it shouldn’t be let lie.

Don’t be hard on yourself, you DID protect your daughter because you got her away unharmed. I don’t know if I would’ve thought to put lights on and beep the horn in those circumstances when you must’ve been panicking. Please go easy on yourself and give yourself time to process what happened.

Hi OP, hope you are feeling a bit better. Can you check with the sports centre if they have cctv. Could the cars have been in the car park beforehand?
Could they be locals? I hope the police take this seriously.

@Aavalon57 As it seems to have taken place in an isolated spot, you are probably right and they are local. Hoping the Police catch up with them soon. They will probably deny it,but the fact they have been reported might put them off doing it to someone else.
OP, I hope you feel better soon. It was an awful thing to happen. As PPs have said, you kept your DD and yourself safe which is the important thing.

You did the right thing by reporting the incident. You aren't overreacting at all. What happened to you was extremely frightening, and I'm not surprised you are shaken up. I live in Dorset too (although not West), and some of the roads in West Dorset, can be very narrow and bendy with no hope of turning around.

It's very odd that both vehicles were acting together, and the second vehicle carried on trying to intimidate you. It doesn't matter what they perceived you'd done, nothing excuses their behaviour.

What make of car have you got?

There’s something I fleetingly heard about on radio4 few days ago, called Silent Solution System & is apparently functional throughout UK.
If a caller to 999 is in danger but can’t communicate, then once ‘connected’ tap 55, then I believe the line stays alive & can at least listen in to what’s happening, & presumably can pinpoint the position of the mobile?
google says:-
“Once you press 55, the BT operator will recognize it as a genuine emergency and immediately transfer you to your local police force. A police call handler will then take over and try to communicate with you using simple "yes" or "no" questions”.
Still a lot to think about & do correctly in highly terrifying situation tho?

Do hope OP can start to feel calmer soon, wonder if u could ask for a chat with your GP.💐

No, she didn’t, she’s answered the question. I have to say, if I was going to accuse somebody of dodging a question, I would definitely read all of their posts first.

I think this is a good idea. I bet you're not the only driver this has happened to, and it's worth asking others to also report if it happens to them.

I'm sorry OP, that must have been so scary.

Is there a different route you can take next time? I'm guessing if it's a regular activity your child was at that usually this is a routine journey. Shaking up our routine routes, sadly is always a good thing to do anyway but for you especially so they're not knowing you'll be driving the same road at the same time next week for example.

This has happened to me three times, in twenty years, ( without the second car), but I don't live in the UK.
Men get overly aggressive for all sorts of reasons and behave apallingly and enjoy frightening women who are alone or vulnerable with children.

I remember every detail of each event. It is terrifying. I hope you are ok, OP.

Sounds awful OP - I'm very glad you are both safe

As something for the future, if he had room to overtake you, you had room to hard turn, reverse hard turn, and drive the opposite way. Some maneuvers training/defensive driving lessons may help you feel safer (not victim blaming, just having the skill and never having to use it is better than not having it and needing it)

Bless you, @hoopladelicious that must have been absolutely terrifying, also to the other ladies who have had similar things happen.
What kind of men would frighten a lone woman? :-(

I had this at temporary lights recently.
A male driver had overtaken a bin wagon and ended up behind me (and a queue of traffic), half hanging over in the other lane while the light was on red. He was banging on his horn and gesturing aggressively, even though he was looking straight at my rear facing small child.
It was absolutely disgusting. To behave in such a fashion anyway, nevermind when he was the one who had made the mistake.

There was that scam from a few years ago of scooter drivers backing into a car then throwing themselves on the car bonnet. A ‘passer-by’ then shows up shouting he’s seen the whole thing. There was video clip posted on MN showing it in action because the woman they did it to had dash cam. When she pointed to it, both men scarpered. And even longer ago there was that v frequent scam of men reversing into cars and claiming to have been hit from behind. That’s when dash cams caught on!

Fucking men. Some doing it for’fun’. Some to threaten. God, I’d be happy with a curfew these days. Just think, I’m meant to instruct my DD to learn to reverse at speed just because of these fucking men.

Horrible nasty men to threaten you @hoopladelicious and you were sensible to fight back and not just ‘freeze’ entirely, which would have also been understandable under the circumstances.

I'm just gob smacked at the 4% who think YABU! What a terrifying situation to be in. I hope the police follow it up.

Honestly. I despair of bloody men nowadays.

It's so amazing you got the license plate! They'll get caught 😁

Car-insurance-scamming seems rather popular:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5484714-scared-and-anxious-about-car-incident

I’m a driving instructor and this has made me really think about what I’d do in the same situation- probably what you’re suggesting if there’s space. I think women should maybe look at advanced driving courses that’d teach these kind of skills.

This is one big reason for women not to go for the run around, but something more capable. And get to know your vehicles limits. Through a misspent youth of driving like a twat I do, but under that stress does it come easily? Probably not.