AIBU to be completely shaken up after this happened while I was driving with my 6yo?

[hoopladelicious]

I’m posting because I’m still really shaken by this and would appreciate some advice and support.

Yesterday evening I was driving home with my six-year-old daughter after taking her to a sports session 20 minutes away. I live in a small town and the sports location is rural. The session finished at around 7pm and it was dark outside.

On the country road home, I became aware of a vehicle following very closely behind me. Suddenly the vehicle then overtook me, stopped abruptly in the middle of the road and a large male got out on the dark road.

He approached my car shouting and swearing at me. He could clearly see that I had my six-year-old daughter in the car.

I was frightened and tried to get away from the situation.

I tried to overtake, and another vehicle behind the first one then overtook me and positioned itself in the right-hand lane, facing oncoming traffic.

At first I thought I might be able to follow this vehicle and get away from the first driver, but I then realised the second vehicle appeared to be involved too.
The first vehicle was blocking the left-hand side of the road and the second vehicle, a huge Hilux, was positioned on the right-hand side, facing the direction of oncoming traffic.

It was a narrow, dark, bendy country road. I couldn't get past them, and I didn't feel I could safely reverse my small car either. The larger vehicles could manoeuvre much more easily than I could.

At that point I was trapped with my little girl in a dark isolated country road with an angry man with an accomplice. There was no connection on my phone and i was shaking like a leaf.

The second driver wasn't the person who had been shouting at me, but the positioning of his Hilux meant I couldn't get past, and I had no idea what was happening or what their intentions were.

I put my hazard lights on, started sounding my horn and was screaming because I was so frightened.

The driver of the Hilux could see that I was distressed and that I had my child in the car.

I honestly thought I was being carjacked.

I was terrified that one of them might force me out of the car, that the situation could escalate, or that either me or my daughter could be harmed. I was also very worried about the Hilux being positioned facing oncoming traffic on a narrow bend at night and the potential for a collision.

Eventually, because other traffic was coming through, the vehicles moved and I was able to get away and continue towards home.

Afterwards, the Hilux continued to weave through traffic in a way that interfered with my journey and made me feel intimidated. I don't know what happened to the first vehicle at that point.

I got the car registration and reported it to the police. I'm not sure what they did was even a crime? I don't know what is going through peoples minds to do this to someone on a dark country road. Working in tandem? I can only imagine they are awful people.

AIBU to think this was extremely frightening and potentially very serious, or am I catastrophising what happened?

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

And is there anything else you think I should be doing now that I've reported it to the police?

Yes, it definitely sounds like it was pre-surveyed and chosen as the spot to target a victim. I am so glad you and your daughter are ok and whatever they had planned was aborted when the other cars showed up.

Please say you will go back to the police and make sure they take a full statement? Give all the details you’ve given here and anything else you can remember about the men and their vehicles. It needs to be reported that this was not a road rage incident but deliberate and targeted, two men against one lone woman and her child.
The whole thing is very disturbing.

Also sending you a big MN hug this evening, you have been through something really horrible, made worse by having your little one in the car and how you must have felt as a mum about the danger. Victim Support are brilliant and I’d really recommend giving them a call. Maybe also think about reporting to your MP and ask if anything can be done to make that stretch of road safer with lighting, speed controls, traffic cameras etc.

Why did you think you might have been unreasonable to react the way you did?

Hi OP, doing a quick search it can be seen there is precedent for the kind of incident you described as the same thing happened to a lady in Lincolnshire:

The incident in Lincolnshire involved a lone driver named Gemma Hammond. It gained significant public attention after she posted a warning about it on Facebook, which was shared thousands of times. 1, 2]
The Details of the Encounter
The incident took place in Spalding, Lincolnshire. According to reporting by LincsOnline and Lincolnshire Live, the confrontation unfolded as follows: 1]

• The Follow: After getting into her car, she noticed a dark blue Vauxhall Vectra pulled out and began following her. 1]
• The Box-In: As she approached a junction, a second vehicle—a black BMW—suddenly pulled directly in front of her car and parked sideways across the road, completely blocking her path. 1]
• The Threat: With the Vectra trapped behind her and the BMW blocking the front, three hooded men stepped out of the BMW and began approaching her vehicle. Altogether, she reported there were five men across the two cars. 1, 2]
• The Escape: Recognising the immediate danger, she locked her doors, held down her horn to draw attention, and made the split-second decision to drive up onto the kerb to navigate around the BMW. In her escape, her car struck the leg of the driver who was walking toward her front bumper. 1]

The Police Response and Outcome Initially, the investigation faced major hurdles because the victim did not have a dashcam, was unable to catch the registration plates in the panic, and there were no immediate independent witnesses. 1] However, following a formal complaint regarding how the case was initially handled, Lincolnshire Police logged the case explicitly. Officers confirmed to her that due to the nature of the multi-vehicle trap, any similar future reports would be flagged as a high-priority, "life-threatening" emergency. 1] This exact case is a primary reason why road safety experts strongly advise lone drivers to install a front-and-rear dashcam. Having immediate, hard evidence of vehicle registration plates is often the only way police can successfully track down and prosecute individuals involved in targeted road intimidation.

I think you need to go back to the police, cite the case above and state that this was the same a ‘multi-vehicle trap’ and according to this
“…any similar reports would be flagged as a high-priority, life threatening emergency”

Yours definitely sounds similar!

Something similar happened to me as I was about to drive past a caravan site.

A car with three men in it drive the wrong way up the road head on towards me so I pulled in to let the past. They pulled up to my vehicle bumper to bumper.

At first I was really confused and then I decided to move back and they just followed me nose to nose. They were all laughing and swearing at me.

I had the presence to lock my doors and eventually rang the police just as a commercial van drove up but couldn't get past so we're forced to stop on the other side of the road.

I think it was a combination of ne clearly mouthing the word 'police' in the phone and another person showing up that made them stop and they drove onto the caravan site.

I was bloody scared and was shaking once I'd got home. The police stayed on the line until I got home but they said they couldn't do anything as nothing had actually happened (which is BS because I felt very threatened!)

I was just so grateful that I'd just dropped my child off at school and that they weren't in the car.

Afterwards, I thought that these guys are just pathetic bullies if it takes 2 or 3 of them to attempt to intimidate a woman. Big men, eh? They were obviously as thick as mince and cowards to boot.

I really feel for you as adding a child and being in the dark must have made it even more scary for you!

You absolutly could of protected her if it escalated, you were the one inside a vehicle and a vehicle is a powerful weapon, if you had needed to you would have driven at them to protect you DD. You wouldn't of wanted to do it but you would have done it.

What a weird and scary situation.

A car came from the opposite direction and stopped in the lane, so yes I then felt brave enough to get out of the car whilst that drivers lights lit up the road and move mannequin out of the way.

I’m genuinely puzzled how many people are mentioning that they locked their doors when they felt threatened

I always had the doors locked in the car.

Oh OP I would have been terrified, too. I would never drive down that road again and I'd put something on Facebook too, if I could do that without revealing my name. People need to know about these bastards.

I’m not sure but I’ve had a car spin around and drive towards me (on my side of the road) at night once before. My instinct was they were doing it for the ‘sport’ of it.

Further to my earlier post - YANBU btw.
Drivers have definitely got worse and more aggressive over the years - there’s a lot less consideration of other drivers, cyclists and pedestrians.
I’m not saying this applies to you OP but these days I take extra care not to get into a ‘situation’ with other drivers - people are a lot more aggressive nowadays.

OP this is terrifying so your reaction and emotions are valid. If you continue to feel jumpy and get flashbacks it could be PTSD. EMDR therapy is effective for a single trauma event.

I also recommend a small can of Deep Heat in your glove compartment. It might help you feel like you have some defence if you travel the roads again.

Yes it could have connected you to an emergency roamer, where it bounces of any network. But if no network has got a signal then dialling 999 would not work.

That's really scary OP. I'm not surprised you're emotional and jumpy today. Who knows what their intentions were? The co-ordinated nature of it suggests it was planned, and who knows what their intentions were? To make it even worse, you felt scared for your child. I'm glad you reported it to the police. I'm sorry this happened to you.

How did you know whether or not that car belonged to the setup? Sounds so risky.

That sounds terrifying. It’s always men too. I once had a truck cut me off, almost hitting my car simply because I was adhering to the speed limit going through a tunnel. It could have been anything that set him/them off.

Me too. I wonder if it's simply them getting a kick out of intimidating women?... God forbid it's anything even more sinister but who knows? Either way it's horrendous. I'm thinking about getting a dash cam myself after reading this thread....

Yes i experienced something very similar and it was honestly absolutely terrifying. Although I was then followed by the car and I was so terrified I crashed my car. You should report it to the police.

That sounds terrifying. You did the right thing sounding your horn..years ago I was driving my small children home from school. Pulled into my drive opened the car door and a man was standing there..unbeknown to me he had followed me home, up my drive and proceeded to lecture me on how slow I was driving. I felt scared as no one around. I apologised to him as hoped that would make him leave which he eventually did. I wish I'd thought to sound the horn. It may have alerted someone like my husband who was in the house and would not have reacted well to a strange man in the driveway. I'm sure he wouldn't have done it if I'd been a man..

I wonder where you are OP? A relative had something similar happen to him earlier in the year. He was totally cornered and frankly petrified, they started bashing on the windows and threatening him to get out. He hit one with his car while getting away. Police told him this was a known carjacking tactic and wasn’t the first they’d encountered in his county (Home Counties) - gang organised.

What a total idiot he was. These posts are bringing it home how threatening some men can be. I always knew there was the odd man out there, but I think it’s more of an issue than I realised. Also some men (minority) really hate women.

Also not anywhere near as scary as anyone else’s posts, but I was driving 20mph in a 20mph village on the way to nursery with both children in the back. I slowed right down at a t-junction (so I was crawling along at this point). There were high up hedges everywhere making it a totally blind junction. An older man let his dog walk into the junction on its lead and then he came hobbling round the corner after it. I was going so slowly that I braked calmly - to not hit the dog. However, he started bashing on the left passenger windows and raising his fists, shouting ‘this is a 20 mph zone’. The children were really upset. I was actually really cross, as I couldn’t have done it any more carefully and he let his bloody dog walk around a blind corner (there are no pavements). It’s annoying when you get told off for doing things carefully.

That sounds terrifying! I hope the police get back to you

Thank you for all of your replies, it has really helped me.

all I can think of is that you were driving too slowly on the roads (for their liking) and they were getting impatient

When I read out the OP to my DH, he pointed out that both England & Scotland's matches were live on TV that night, so maybe the men were angry they couldn't get home/wherever to see the footy as fast as they wanted to.