....to think that retiring away from the city is bonkers?

[NewGrandmummy]

Inspired by another thread about moving away from London with small children, I wonder if anyone else has done as I have done, and actually moved back to London (or another major city) as preparation for retirement?

I truly don't understand the 'let's retire to the seaside/a rural smallholding/a tiny village' that seems to be in so many older people's minds. Why do that at a time of life when you will most likely have to give up driving at some point? How will you get to the supermarket/doctor/dentist/hospital/cinema/pub etc?

I'd love to hear from those who've moved out of London/a city for retirement and regretted it, or those who, like me, are moving towards civilisation (rather than away from it) as they get older.

@Raindropskeepfallingon · 06/10/2026 09:40

There’s a very big middle ground. “Away from the city” could mean, as I plan, living in a medium sized market town - there are shops, a dentist and doctors, a bus route, pubs and restaurants etc. I don’t see what’s mad about that.

Also retirement covers a long time for some people, especially those who retire early - if you retire at 60 you could have 15-20 years before you need to give up driving. No one says to a 21 year old it’s mad to live in a city centre flat because in 15-20 years they might be married with three kids and a Labrador.

Excellent post. Very good points. I know people in my village (3 and a half to 4 miles from the local market town,) who are 80-ish, who are only just starting to have issues with being in a rural village with no public transport or amenities. (As they have had to give up driving.)

They moved here 30-35 years ago! And they are only just having problems...

DH and I are nearly 60 and have been in our little rural village for 12-13 years, and can't see any reason having no public transport, no shops, GP, Pharmacy, or Dentist for 4 miles being an issue for at least 15 years. So we would have been here almost 30 years by then!

And yes, there is absolutely no need to live in the city. As I said earlier, I don't know a single person over 50 who would choose to live in the city - like long term, as in their forever home. A little village a couple of miles from a market town would be OK, or the market town itself if you can't drive. But living in a city after the age of 50? No thank you.

I guess I'm still the next of kin? At this point whatever happens, happens. I'm just going with the flow.

Exactly!

Four miles is hardly insurmountable though. A 1-2 hour drive to the nearest service like a doctor is quite a different prospect.

My experience of a genuinely rural village is that it's fine for the elderly, in fact that's the majority population so it's pretty well set up for them!

There's a GP surgery, pharmacy and small supermarket, Tesco deliveries, a fish van. There are absolutely loads of activities as well, all welcome, always something on, which I think is so important for people staying healthy and happy as they age. It's extremely safe and friendly. And there is genuinely no shortage of people happy to help out, either as volunteers or informally. Plus minimal litter and no pollution.

I genuinely can't see how anyone would be better served in a large, anonymous city.

Who on earth lives 2 hours from their nearest doctor? Literally no-one would choose to do that. Certainly not in the UK. Indeed, I doubt that there is anywhere that would be that far away from the doctor.

As has been said multiple times, regarding the OP, it's ludicrous to say that everyone should not retire away from the city, as they will be 'isolated.'

Batshit really. There are so many lovely places you can move to, that are rural or semi rural, and are still close to amenities, or have the amenities right there.

My parents are at least one hour from their nearest doctor. Two hours from the nearest hospital. Their nearest supermarket is an hour away.

There are compromises, we live on the outskirts of a small town, we are pretty much in countryside with big open spaces behind us, but within 10mins walk of our Doctor, Dentist and the town centre. Main hospital is about 5 miles away easily reachable by car or public transport or taxi. All the local supermarkets deliver. Why would I want to be (or need to be) living in probably a tiny flat, in a noisy, dirty, big city?

Yeah, and....? What's your point exactly? The whole thread is about how wrong the OP is that everyone should live in the city for their entire life! And that people can live somewhere rural or semi rural and still have amenities close by (like 10-15 minutes drive... or less...)

I have no idea why you are even going on about people having doctors 1-2 hours away, and the closest supermarket 1 hour away. Literally NO_ONE has said this would be a good idea. Not one person.

I think the ideal is that people retain the capacity to move closer to services when they need it. Or closer to someone who can help them, like family. My parents haven't done that and the outlook is dire.

Some people have doctors in ten minutes from them. Many people in the city wouldn't even have that.

OP is wrong that everyone should live in the city but it's also not wrong to say that at some point, there needs to be thought put into the long term implications of staying there till the day you die.

I retired to a small seaside town. Everything in town is easily walkable so I can walk or cycle to the supermarket/doctor/dentist/(minor treatment hospital/pub and anything else I need. There are regular bus services to the county town where there's pretty much everything a person needs.

On top of that there's an incredible sense of community here. People keep an eye out for each other and most of us volunteer in two or three different ways so it's sociable and we all contribute.

Lots of us here walk in the local hills and on the coast path, cycle, swim in the sea, garden, have dogs we take out several times a day - it's a very healthy lifestyle that keeps you fit into old age.

I'm friends with the local GP who says that the local people go on forever because of the air, hills, activity and warmth of the people around them.

I think if you have only ever lived in the city it's hard to imagine there are places like here where people can thrive without the 24/7 thrum of city life. City people think towns like ours are for six weeks in summer and that we all turn out the lights and die on the vine on the 5th September.

Also, there's a whole infrastructure here set up to help older people - dementia clubs, clubs to support those caring for ill/elderly relatives, U3A, lots of care homes, shops specialising in mobility scooters and things to adapt your house so you can still manage at home as you age, a community bus, regular clubs for older people and just many neighbours who fetch a loaf if it snows or knock on a door if they don't see a familiar face on market day.

I wonder how much of that happens in cities?

I do live in a city and my doctors is around half an hour and two buses away. My dentist is around 25 minutes away but only one bus instead of two. Someone will no doubt be along in a minute to argue that at least the buses are regular. If only🤬

My parents are now late 60s/early 70s and they have organised POA even though both of them are hopefully years away from needing it. I am one of three children and two of us have POA over health issues, two over finances and two of us are executors. My parents have changed which two are responsible for each.

Absolutely. The city vs rural issue is the wrong question really as there is so much variation in facilities and so many options in between the two extremes of city centre v remote rural. But the general principle that people should give some consideration as to how suitable their living arrangements are likely to be in old age and preferably take steps to address problems before they become a crisis is a good one.

For finances, your attorneys can start managing your finances with your permission whenever you consent, even before losing capacity. My parents have full capacity but we have used the LPAs for us children to manage their finances and invest their money in ISAs, pay tradespeople online etc. They just find it easier for us to manage it. They trust us obviously and we don’t help ourselves to their money. Health is a different issue of course.

We did our LPAs when we turned fifty. We obviously have them for our elderly parents. We haven’t done it for our 20-something kids. Can I asked who they nominated as attorneys? Friends or family? Not sure they should nominate us in our fifties?

They each nominated four, in order. So me, their father and two siblings.

1. Property and Financial Affairs LPA

This can usually be used as soon as it is registered with the Office of the Public Guardian, provided the person who granted it has agreed to that.

• The person does not have to have lost mental capacity.
• The attorney can manage finances, banking, bills and property matters within the authority granted.
• Banks or other organisations may ask for evidence of the registered LPA, but not necessarily evidence of incapacity.

1. Health and Welfare LPA

This works differently.

• It can only be used to make a particular decision when the person lacks the mental capacity to make that decision themselves.
• Registration alone does not establish incapacity.
• A formal medical assessment is not always necessary, although one may be requested, particularly for significant decisions.

I was making financial decisions on behalf of us both immediately even though we were only in our 50s.
As to health and welfare there was no formal process by which my late OH was assessed as not having mental capacity - the decisions of his attorneys (myself and DDs) were simply honoured without question. He was completely paranoid by that time and no-one insisted on a formal declaration of incapacity.

What do you think happens in cities? Do you think there are no old people in cities? No infrastructure? No neighbours?

In the UK next of kin has no legal standing - you have no right to be informed or make decisions. A decent medical team and social workers will include you in decision making, but you have can't over rule them or make decisions for your parents once they've lost capacity.

we moved out of London to a market town to have kids....
and now we want to move to Louth in Lincolnshire

That's incredibly alarming, depending on the decision you were making (for health and welfare). Capacity is decision and time specific, so there is no "declaration of incapacity" - a mental capacity assessment must be undertaken for each (significantly) decision to be made such as medical or care decisions and the outcome recorded. If it's a case of deciding if you go out for the day, what to have for dinner, whether to carry out house repairs etc that's a bit different in a marriage.

Then that's the risk my parents have chosen to take and I have to accept it.

The decision we made basically ended his life as we asked that he be allowed to die in peace rather being blue-lighted into hospital.
There were no dissenting voices amongst those who had been watching him suffer, but neither was there a formal registration of mental incapacity.

there is not a "formal registration of mental incapacity"