....to think that retiring away from the city is bonkers?

[NewGrandmummy]

Inspired by another thread about moving away from London with small children, I wonder if anyone else has done as I have done, and actually moved back to London (or another major city) as preparation for retirement?

I truly don't understand the 'let's retire to the seaside/a rural smallholding/a tiny village' that seems to be in so many older people's minds. Why do that at a time of life when you will most likely have to give up driving at some point? How will you get to the supermarket/doctor/dentist/hospital/cinema/pub etc?

I'd love to hear from those who've moved out of London/a city for retirement and regretted it, or those who, like me, are moving towards civilisation (rather than away from it) as they get older.

20 is not the same as 20-30. If you revise your estimate down to only 20, and a decade actually is a lot in healthy human lifespan terms, yes that makes it less of a punt as well as being less time to spend there.

But again, there's a lot of you in this, when your comment was about someone else's decision and circumstances. It would be more logical for the pp to consider her own relatives circumstances than yours, given the amount of ill health that has a hereditary component. The pp also evidently has infirm parents to consider and could do for some time yet, which makes a difference. It's not depressing for her to come up with a more practical plan, regardless of whether you in very different circumstances might feel differently.

Having never lived in a city, I can’t imagine moving to one in the future. I like where I live, I’d live more remotely if I could. I’d definitely not move to a city in my old age.

I’m only 40, but I’m already getting sick of people, traffic and noise. I crave peace, the sea, and calm.

I’d imagine that’s why a lot of people leave London. They don’t want the hassle and chaos that comes along with it.

Exactly! As I said, I couldn't think of anything worse than living in the city at almost 60. I don't know anyone over 50 who would want to live in the city. Even people I know in their mid 30s and early 40s are starting to look wistfully and enviously at me and DH in our lovely rural cottage with its big garden, with the river and canal a short walking distance away, (10 to 15 minutes walk) and the woodlands 5-6 minutes walk away. Also a lovely close community, friendly residents, and community activities and hobby groups if you want to join (but no pressure to join.) A few of them have said 'this is one of my life goals, living somewhere like this!'

I love it so much here. Can you tell?

.

😁😁

The reality in my family. 2 sets of parents (mine and dh). All just under 80yo. In the last 10 years:
one had cancer and died
one had cancer and is currently in remission. But has also had a hip replacement, shoulder issues following a fall. Currently has what the GP calls ‘post viral fatigue’ - likely LC.
one is going to have an open heart surgery for the second time in the next couple of weeks.
one (my mum) has the best health of them all. But still had to have cataract surgery on both eyes this year.

All 3 of them live independently. Travel, garden, play golf etc… not people unable to manage.

Yet, at some point, they all needed support in various form. They all needed access to good healthcare.

I really don’t think that we can say ‘oh I can carrying on living as if I was 50yo at 70yo’. Bad things happen later.
They dint. That’s why the health span is about just 65yo. We live longer but we live longer whilst being ill rather than being healthy for longer.

I wasnt suggesting people should move to the city on retirement. Just have a think through what their options will be.

Some people struggle to imagine themselves as anything other than they are now.

bad things can happen at any age. I agree about maybe not being able to live at 70 like you do at 50 and those of us who can are lucky....however that does not mean that moving is always essential or that the best healthcare is in cities.

The Op was.

As per earlier post moved to the seaside from London when I was 54. Am now 73 and (cross fingers) fairly healthy although I struggle with back pain issues

Hands up I did't think through the long term health possibility issues when I did move.
But both the GP and hospital are on the busy local bus route so not too bad. The counter to that, though, is that I've had the best 19 years of my life and am as happy now as I've ever been. Was a risk well worth taking

The thing I should have considered more was public transport. At the time I drove and, also, had no trouble with the 15-20 minute walk to and from the station. I had to give up driving a while back and that walk is far more of a challenge now

I struck lucky with having a bus stop right outside our estate which goes to the station

There are other parts of this area with a much worse (or indeed zero) bus service which I could have chosen

As mentioned already on this thread I moved from London when I was in my early 50s to a small seaside town in East Kent and I am very happy here.

My next door neighbour managed to stay in her own home in our little town until she was almost 96 and is now comfortable in a local care home.

It is daft to suggest that older people can only be independent and access medical care in cities. Moving out of a city in retirement does not have to mean choosing to live in the middle of nowhere either.

Bizarre how some people don't seem to understand that everyone is different when it comes to what makes them happy and how they want to live their life. Nothing 'bonkers' about that.

@TheFishFish no, not depressing though I’m not reading any criticism into your comment. But personally my circumstances are that my youngest won’t be finished uni until I’m at least 60 and he’s autistic so I want to keep his base for him until then.

Looking at parents and friends’ parents, I think the ideal time to settle somewhere new if you’re thinking about future proofing is no later than 70 as it becomes too much for most beyond that. So for a ten year window to live in the rural idyll…. Not sure.

But I’m perhaps being a little disingenuous (unintentionally) being on the thread. I actually have a lovely life where I live right now including an interesting job, friends, volunteering, near the coast but 20 mins drive from a big city etc. The very rural dream is a nice to think about but I’ve decided that the idyll is not ideal for the reasons above so my plan is to do as much travel as possible while I’m fit and active instead.

I agree that no later than 70 is right for moving to a future proof place. I love London and one of my lottery win fantasies is a pied a terre in Mayfair but it would be very hard making new friends I think.

I currently live in a small town renowned for being a retirement place, by the sea, I am less than five minutes walk from the station and can get to London, other cities and of course plenty of other local towns very easily. I can’t drive so I have never lived far from public transport. I think we will most likely downsize to a bungalow around here and I will hope to get to London more to the theatre, galleries etc as well as maintaining cultural interests and friendships locally.

My ILs moved from the sticks to be nearer us in their early 80s and I honestly think should have done it sooner to be able to make friends more easily. They are nowhere near the station and their house and garden are quite dangerous. However they soldier on and are near the GP etc, and will use taxis. I see that they miss the country very much but I think if they had moved just a few years earlier they would have been way more confident navigating the trains etc and would have more resources for days out and things. I think a lifetime of only driving has its drawbacks. They do go up to London but get very stressed about the train, tickets etc.

edit to say it sounds like I’ve retired already! I’m only 50 and may well work til 70 but elderly relatives’ experiences have put this stuff at the forefront of my mind!

The problem with this (not your post, the whole thing of if we need it later then we need to move back to town), is that later, they often can't afford to move back to town. My parents moved from the city to a very rural location. One bus in and one out, once a week. No online grocery delivery. They are still okay but finding it harder. A house in their rural location just doesn't have the same value as a house in a city or closer to services. So they can't afford to move back to the city or a town. They can't sell their property for enough to be able to buy in the city. So, unless retirees are wealthy enough to make that change, they can find themselves stuck. Like my parents.

I don't think they did the wrong thing, they've loved it there and still do. The lack of forward planning is going to be a real issue though. 90 minutes to the nearest hospital, 60 minutes to the nearest supermarket and doctor. One bus a week. Result: Driving when medically advised not to because no choice. Future plan: Someone in the community will be happy to drive us to the supermarket, or the neighbour might have to take a day off work to drive us to the hospital if we have a surgery or something.

@ILoveListeningToRainAtNight yeah that is a bit too 'rural' for me! An hour to the doctor, an hour and a half to any hospital, no supermarket deliveries, one bus a week? How far away are their closest shops? Where do they live, on a remote island?! I don't know anywhere on the UK mainland that's like this... (Assuming they live in the UK. Apologies if they don't...)

There is a tiny general store. No, they aren't in the UK, but I assume there are similar places in the UK.

A little village with post office and shop and cafe and pub and gp would be fine

A lot of older people are scared to use public transport (sometimes even people in their 30s are worried, being attacked by gangs on buses). And it's usually easier to drive and park outside cities.
If they're up to it, walking on the beach everyday must be lovely, and hopefully family/friends can help them out if needed.

The trouble with relying on friends is that, in my parents' case, their friends are all the same age, with all the same issues.

I think that’s the goal, to live somewhere you love. The place you describe sounds amazing for a mini break but I couldn’t live there. I am in my fifties and live in zone 2 in London, and my friend and I joke that we would love to leave our husbands and live in a Mayfair penthouse together when we retire, and never leave central London! And I imagine you would hate that!

Ah, thank you!

Can't think of anywhere on the mainland that would be as 'remote' but maybe there is...?

.

Fair enough. Wouldn't do for us to all like the same! Flipping what you said, I think living where you live sounds lovely for a 2 week break or something, and amazing to live there when you're young and childfree..... But I would never want to live in zone 2 in London at almost 60 years of age. All that traffic and noise and pollution and all those people, I love the dead silence of our village at night, and often only hearing the birdsong in the day.

Horses for courses.

My answer was about the idea that you dint need to worry about the health side if things until you’re 75+yo.

And I agree that you dint have to live in a city. But Wonderimg how you’d get that care should be part of choosing where you’re going to live.

eg my MIL lives in a very pretty seaside town.
Nearest hospital is 1 hour drive away (each way).
She is now in a place where she needs to go to hospital to prepare for her heart surgery. She has no choice but to do the drive despite being very unwell. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
It’s not an issue with town vs city vs countryside. It’s an issue with accessibility (to hospital, shops, community) and some areas don’t offer that.

Not sure why you find a personal choice so bonkers. Pros and cons to both.

Many dream of retiring into nature with a slower pace of life. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

Listen to Ralph McTell’s ‘Streets of London’ for a different take on living in London.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=DiWomXklfv8&pp=ygUecmFscGggbWN0ZWxsIHN0cmVldHMgb2YgbG9uZG9u&ra=m

Mine are also backed into a corner stuck doing the driving due to location. One day I suspect I'll have to report them when it gets to the point they are a danger on the roads. I get the appeal but practically speaking, everyone is worried about how this is going to go in the coming years. Except them.

We know a couple who moved from a London suburb to the seaside when they were in their 70s.
It was a disaster. They had been to the place in the summer and were friends with a couple who lived there. They’d done no practical research.
Husbands health deteriorated, they were bored…not because they went into London anyway but because they never saw people they knew. They complained about the lack of shops, facilities, places to go. They complained a lot about the GP but also the hospital was very far and the wife didn’t drive and he couldn’t drive after he got sick. After he died she went to live with her sister back in London.
They had enough money they could have had 2 places, in fact if they had bought a second place they may have built up to moving rather than a big move (and discovered they didn’t actually like it).