Would you be able to move past this?

[Beeenalsvwe]

recently started dating after a few years off. Usually go for professionals in high flying careers but this time I really felt something for a writer/poet. He has no money (not really a factor for me as I have my own money and not looking to combine finances with anyone anyway). He’s lovely in lots of ways and I fancy him. But.. his poetry isn’t good. Some of it is ok. But it’s definitely not (in my opinion) as good as he thinks, by a long way.

He will send them to me and say ‘this is a nice poem I wrote’ or ‘this was a good one.’ They’re not terrible but he’s thinking of trying to get them published and I put one into ChatGPT and they said it was written by someone the age of 18-25. He’s 49.

I don’t know if this is ridiculous and I should just be happy he’s happy writing. I think it’s the delusion I struggle with. And this idea he’s really good when I’m really not sure that’s the case.

How would you feel?!

It depends really. If you’ve no intention of wanting to marry him or merge living arrangements I’d base it on how much you enjoy his company (or not).

It isn't music though!! Music requires actual skill to compose! And talent playing instruments. Music moves your brain in a way probably nothing else can - poetry is literally just words. I agree there are levels of good/bad with poetry but they're all in the same category of low-skill set required (for me).

Haha I knew I'd wind some people up with that! It's just how I feel. So, let me explain another way - everything I just read there... I see no difference between that and a plain-speaking diary entry about e.g. being in the trenches. Just because weird / flowery phrasing was chosen, doesn't change that it's just... Writing thoughts down!!! Every single person can do this. And then who is allowed to judge if it's 'good' or not?! Haha I feel like (unarguable) skill needs to be involved so that you can even begin to apply 'good' or 'bad' labels. Like artists who have to learn about canvasses, oil-based paints.. erm.. how light affects their work... Colours.. contours.. I dunno, I'm not an artist! But I bet there's a lot of knowledge and skill involved if you're a good one.

And if the labels of 'good' or 'bad' aren't necessary, then it's not a skill because skills can apply those labels.

Was this post poetry?? Technically. But it isn't, is it? Haha I just wrote stuff down! 😅

Mhmm your conclusion is definitely not the case but for privacy reasons, I won't get into why.

I'll ignore anything to do with singing or melody, for obvious reasons as that triggers different areas of the brain.

The only skill you described for poetry is this -

"..choosing words very carefully, and thinking very carefully about how to structure them for effect..."

I agree that is effort but it isn't enough of a 'skill' (in my view) to qualify the whole of poetry as being a skill set or art. A great speech has the same capacity to move people and no one calls that art.

Writing is a skill, I agree. But writing e.g. a book, where you need to think about a story, tonnes of characters and spend sometimes years writing it - that's skill.

A few lines of text, with a bit of thought to structure, doesn't qualify someone as a skilled artist to me.

I also love music and lyrics (though some lyrics make no sense and just fit the music!!) and I love reading, and languages. And while I don't respond to paintings (sculptures might be more my thing), I do fully appreciate the skilled artistry that must go into that.

I don't think you understand how AI works OP.
If you had replied to it telling you that the author seemed young by telling them that the author was a published poet who was drawing on his experience of having missed the bus last Tuesday who grew up loving to read Enid Blyton, it would have detected traces of his love for Enid Blytons work in the poem and made up a reason why the missed bus or the day Tuesday were significant pillars of inspiration in his poem.

If you then announced you lied and it was really supposed to be about how his gf spent way too much time on Mumsnet, it would agree and instantly try to find a line that might, if you squint a bit and hold it up to the light be very vaguely connected to a website or forum and spotted that.

AI will tell you what it thinks you want to hear and is programmed to not disagree with you unless you tell it to disagree.

Writing poetry (like Keats) is a skill. He had an extraordinary natural gift but he had to study extensively. Writing good poetry is a learned skill.

Having trained as a surgeon and an apothecary, and having previously nursed both his mother and his brother through fatal pulmonary tuberculosis (consumption), he would’ve more knowledge than most.

But the moment he coughed up blood he knew he would die for certain.

"I know the colour of that blood,—it is arterial blood;—I cannot be deceived in that colour;—that drop of blood is my death-warrant;—I must die".

Keats was a literary genius! He produced an extraordinary amount of brilliant poetry in just 6 years!!

I visited the Louvre when I was 16 and there was a melee around this painting. When they moved on I realised with HORROR it was the Mona Lisa. Small, dark and unremarkable. It was the worst disappointment EVER.

I mean.. you can say anything you like but it needs evidence to be believed(!) - did you want to expand?

I agree that poetry as a whole is not an art. There is an awful lot of doggerel and often people who think they are good at poetry really aren’t.

But it’s subjective anyway. There is quite a lot of music that I don’t see as art. Doesn’t even mean I don’t like it, just that I don’t see it as art. And then there is music that I do see as art because it evokes something in me. Makes me think or feel something.
Lyrics are basically poetry IMO.

There are learnable elements to poetry like rhyme and metre, line breaks, sensory imagery etc. Poets build their skills by extensive reading. Keats studied Shakespeare and was profoundly influenced by him.

Famous poets rarely write masterpieces on their first try. Their surviving notebooks and early drafts reveal extensive revisions, proving that the final quality comes from structural work rather than pure, effortless inspiration.

Completely subjective, so you're being a bit of a divvy.

Send us a small sample of the stuff and we can see how wrong he is?

Tbf I don't think she said she usually goes for intellectuals.
Just "high flying" people, whatever that means. Could be senior recruitment consultants.

Tim Key's the only living male poet I know and I've seen him catch a mouse 💁

I also don't understand the whole chatgpt element, like that's the final say on it?

Chatgpt recent told me saddam hussein was a usa president.

Maybe pilots!! 🤣

True dat ! I meant to type professionals but it auto changed it doh!

Pandora! I adore ya
I implore ye
Don't ignore me

...or thereabouts, is roughly how that poem goes... Greatest poem ever written! By Adrian Mole (aged 13 and 3/4)

I had TWO dates with an "artist" The singing type.

He waffled on about what he did all day, but essentially it was a lot of word salad and made out that he was writing lyrics for all and sundry 24/7. Turns out he did one radio advert that month.

Then after the second date I received a mp3 message. He had written me a song and sang it and sent it. It was so bad 😂 In response I wished him well for the future.

I still have it and sometimes I listen to music while cooking and doing housework. It was in my playlist and it come on the other day. I just cannot delete it as its so bad. I did hear an advert on the radio though, and the tune is quite similar. So then I wondered if the advert was done first and he tweaked the words for "my" song, or did my song come first .. 😂

OP I think an unemployed poet would make a good lover, but that is about it.

No idea who that is.

Hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. 😆

I don't know why so many PPs are assuming OP lacks sophistication for not appreciating this loser's poetry. Poetry is one of those things that pretentious twats churn out knowing people are scared to judge what they've written in case they're missing some subtle cleverness in it.

ETA: That doesn't mean all poets are pretentious twats! Just that it's an area that attracts a lot of charlatans.

From context you should be able to work out that he's a poet, surely. He also won a Perrier and recently wrote and starred in a very successful film. And, of course, caught a mouse.

I think the lack of sophistication is revealed by the fact that she said if Chat GPT had said his poems were good she would like him more...